Blow Job Tug O' War?

[Anonymous]

I'm not a virgin, but a few months ago I gave my first blow job to my current bf. So I let him say what is normal as far as blow jobs/sex goes... until now. -I know you guys love blow jobs, often more than sex. (You're feeling lazy, it feels so good..etc.) -I don't really like him going down on me so he doesn't..I want SEX. When I give him head it's done. (We've only had sex once after.) He also uses my period for about a week outta the month...as an excuse to expect a blow job like everyday. Q: How can I get our relationship back to where I can have more control in deciding whether I'M giving him a blow job, or WE'RE f^@&ing? :) (please, any advice/experiences of yours!?)

[hisangel]

Hahaha The old 'Since you're on your period can I have a BJ' routine huh?

Well first off, I think you need to get in the mindset that sex is about two people giving each other pleasure at the same time. That's one of the reason why everyone loves it so much. Cause how often can you be giving and receiving pleasure at the same time? When you get focused on that, then you can be stronger about putting your needs out there. You'll realize sex is meant to have both people receiving pleasure so asking for things isn't selfish.

I think you need to be honest that you don't mind given blowjobs (because you don't seem to mind) but you want to receive just as much pleasure as you give. Unfortunately, this is one of the times where there is no sly way of doing it. When it comes to something like this, you really do have to tell him flat out that you want more sex. Not that he isn't pleasing you but that the way it is now, you are giving him pleasure and while it makes you happy to do it, you don't receive sexual pleasure from it. And make it clear, it's a gift to him, not a sexual turn on to you.



Most guys are pretty good at wanting to keep the relationship balanced. They never want to feel in debt to you. They want to feel like they are pulling their weight. Right now it seems that he thinks oral for oral is acceptable and since you don't want oral, you have forfeited your right to pleasure but it's still OK for him to get oral. You need to make it clear that in your mind, it isn't oral for oral. You don't like oral at all. It's oral for sex. You want sex and he isn't giving it to you. You aren't forfeiting your right to pleasure, the pleasure you want he isn't giving to you cause he is too tired or whatever.

And seriously the oral during the period thing just doesn't fly for me. I feel sick and tired and I'm in pain. I wouldn't feel obligated to do anything during that time. If I feel well enough, I will. But again, it's just communicating and making it clear that, while a man may just see a period as meaning a woman is out of commission sexually for a few days, for a woman it's a very emotional and painful experience. And sometimes when you are in emotional pain or physical pain the last thing you want to do is give a BJ. If I were you, during my period, I would ask for a massage everyday. If he can be too tired to have sex some days and wants a BJ, you are allowed to be too tired for a BJ and just want a massage.

[ArizonaRX]

hmmm, I believe you are either great at giving head or he's quick on the trigger. Because it's put you in a position to not want to give him head because you know that if you do, it will be a one sided affair. Which sucks because you aren't getting satisfied and it's making you not want to give him head. Unfortunately for him, he's going to find out that his head giver is going to leave for greener pastures before he can get another blow job.

My Girlfriend will give me head whenever and where ever I want it. Most of the time, I don't even ask and I'm not thinking about it and she just does it. That being said, most of the time after about 5-10 minutes I'm ready to give it to her like a mad man. I think because I feel comfortable enough that she'll do it as much as I want, I don't have to be greedy. Also, because it turns me into an animal and I can't wait to give it to her, she knows this and uses it to her advantage.

Poor guys with fast triggers... Work on your control. Your sex lives will become far more enjoyable for both parties.

[islands7]

Guys that can only go once/night
HAVE TO TAKE TURNS
but it's OK to BJ him stiff, then F him when it's YOUR TURN
that puts the solution monkey on his back, figuring out how he can get a BJ + your F same night, am I correct?

Cause I'm reading you're doing all the work & bending over backwards

[user12345]

tell him if he doesn't start f***ing you, I will.

i'm not kidding, of course I don't actually mean "I", like I mean, someone else will.

it'll work, trust me.

[Asker]

Hahahah ! :) I did try taking a "break" with him...but he went craycray. But then again I didn't tell him what you said.... might give it a try. Thanks for your comment!

[Guy13]

Tell him now that he has a taste, it's time for financial compensation. I pay my Wifey and keep a 20 strap, both open and sealed, in my nightstand. In 6-8 weeks, she's processes one strap and that's about 10,000+- 2,000 yearly or a new car every four years if you will. And of course, anything else she wants when I get that two-fer on same day-look and wink... It's worth every Dime :)

[lv4lv]

Be on top more often. Guys often get tired of doing all the work. :P

[headgame]

Once a blow is great nothing retuurns to normal

[Anonymous]

Tell him what you want.