Sexual Health
+1 y

He wants to sleep with me badly and I don't know what to do.

i met this man at work, he doesn't work with me any more now, he is 6 years older, married with 2 kids. I have always talked to him as a colleague and nothing else, I never even thought about it when he stayed long after working hours to download a movie with me, or when he asked to go out for dinner with me, I thought it was completely casual and friendly. until we went out for dinner for the first time, we both had few drinks, and as he said goodbye, he hugged me soo tight, and when I went home, he kept texting me all night wanting to come over to give me another hug as he said, but I was actually falling asleep, so nothing happened. second time we went out we again had few drinks, and this time we made out in his car, and it was extremely exciting that it was very hard to stop on the right moment, but I was strong enough to stop him, and I did. we haven't had sex, but the memory of that intimate moment is still alive in our heads, he calls me every single night, and he said that he thinks about this moment every single day, he actually said, I love my wife, and I wouldn't leave her, but I am dying to sleep with you because I have never been that excited in my whole life. i think the guy is a bastard, but he is right, the moment was so great to be forgotten, and I am afraid that I will be weak one day and sleep with him. what can I do, and what does he want from me?
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Most Helpful Girls

  • I think you need to realize that what you are feeling is flattery. He is stroking your ego. He is a taken man who is committed to someone else and rejects so many other women but there is just something so insanely irresistible in you that he is willing to risk it all to be with you! How can that not be flattering?!

    The problem is, it isn't true. It's what he wants you to believe. I hate to tell you but I grew up around men like this, they are the kings at telling women what they want to hear. I mean look at Tiger Woods. Look at Jesse James. Both said "Oh no baby, the marriage is just a publicity stunt." Or "I can't stand you being with another guy!" Or a million other things we are finding out. I know it seems like he is rejecting a lot of women but trust me, these men aren't picky. They are looking for one thing: a willing woman. A lot of the times the women these men cast off are the ones who clearly aren't buying their bullsh*t. They seriously look for the girl who wants to be flattered because she is the one that will have an affair with him. The ones that want to be flattered are ALWAYS the ones that they can get in bed. The women who want relationships or something more than flattery, never buy their lines.

    I know it feels so good right now but the irony of this is, in the end, you are going to feel like a piece of crap. Because that's how this works. You will either 1) Fall for him and he won't leave his wife, making you feel used and worthless 2) You will find out he was sleeping with a bunch of other women and that vibe he had with you wasn't so special or 3) He will leave you before you are ready to be left.

    If this guy said he never had an affair, I wouldn't be so emphatic about this. But he is a serial adultery and I have seen enough of them to know they flatter, f***, and then leave everytime.

    • Sorry "serial adulterer"

    • Great answer this should be the best answer very well put and said!

    • She also should think about his Wife and kids. Does she want to be the one partially responsible for creating MORE issues between them? I know the husband is mostly to blame in a situation like this but I feel since she KNOWS he is married with kids then she is just as irresponsible and uncaring as he is. Well said btw. +1

    • Show All

  • You can't say no?

    Wow you suck so bad as a person. He does too but this question was written by you so that's who I'm going to address. You act like you are incapable of taking responsibility for your actions. Heaven forbid you actually not hang out with a married man outside of work...no you put yourself in the position to do so by going on a date and exchanging texts and then act as if OMG I can't help myself, that guy totally wanted to do me and there was nothing I can do about it! If you think he is a bastard, what does that make you? Stop making excuses for being a homewrecking skank and leave him alone. There is no reason for you to have any contact with him since you don't work together anymore. He obviously wants to sleep with you, smart one, I mean you said in your question that he said and I quote"I love my wife, and I wouldn't leave her, but I am dying to sleep with you because I have never been that excited in my whole life."...so obviously he wants sex. You almost come across delayed if you are asking these simple questions: You know what he wants. You know you are wrong for having that kind of contact with a married man and you know you shouldnt put yourself in those situations. So what are you doing asking us for? *rolls eyes really hard*

    • Lmao that is a little harsh but I mean then again life isn't that welcoming lol my answer to this question is that man you told her off send me a message in private lmao that sh*t is halarious I am sorry she is so mean but true.yea really here is a advice don't drink while you guy's go out.dont go out again.

  • He is a creep! No offense to you but he probably cheats on his wife a lot! Take the excitement put it in your spank bank and use it later, but you will not feel good if you have sex with this guy. Secondly, tell him to go away. He seems like a crazy stalker psycho to me and I would get rid of him now before he gets way too weird.

    • He is not a stalker or a weirdo, he is actually very smart. and yes indeed he told me that he has cheated on his wife many times.

    • Yeah stay away from that. HE IS SCUM!

Most Helpful Guys

  • well he's already said that he wouldn't leave his wife so you have a straight up view of what this will be about. YOu will only be the other woman, mistress, lover, and sex on the side with him. He won't give you a relationship and no commitment. If you're still okay with that and okay with it just being physical then follow your lust and enjoy. Just don't expect anything out of it and you won't be hurt. I had an affair with a girl once that lived with her boyfriend and her kids. She wouldn't leave him and I very much wanted to be with her. Even though we had great mind blowing sex and I knew that's all it was I still had and developed great feelings for her. I hated it but had to end it because I wanted what she couldn't / wasn't willing to give. The sex...WOW! best ever still.

    • Did you TELL her you wanted more, or did you pretend that you didn't? Curious for personal reasons. ^ ^

  • He is married with kids. Tell him you share the feelings he does and that you understand him and enjoy his company but that married uncommitted men only are exciting when you have not slept with them and that right after its all crap so you will NOT pursue it anymore and find yourself a single man who excites you as much as he has and that its one thing to share a man with another woman but the thought of what that will do to his kids and family life and you later on is simply NOT a good idea nor possible until you see the divorce papers with his signature nd his wife's on it.

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What Girls & Guys Said

17 23

  • Don't go out with him, avoid getting drunk around him and keep your self respect and move on. He's not the only guy you can get excited about, so don't over think it, your wasting your time on a man who wants you for sex. If you continue this you are ruining a marriage and a family.

  • The mans marrid with kids, and your entertaining the idea of sleeping with him (you must be to write it here) I would sugest you look at your situation, the man is not going to leave his family to be with you, and without coming accross as insensitive you also need to question your integrity. Do you want to be that women?

    if your ok with the idea of no strings attached casual sex then there are plenty of single guys out there willing to offer it. Having sex with a marrid man who has kids is NEVER no strings attached. DONT fool yourself into thinking it will be

    -Chris

  • You're right about the guy. He _wants_ to be unfaithful to his wife, and is dragging you into this sordid scene.

    If anything comes of it, how would you feel if he was "courting" another woman?

    Steer clear; he's a lying cheat.

    • I asked him last night, how come you love your wife and you still want to sleep with me? and he said " I don't know, but I am thinking about you every night, I really want you "

  • I agree with "hisangel". Her post is the best answer given to this question.

  • He is married with two ids..

    Your pst was one page to long, you have your answer up top, but if you need a little more convincing,/ reinforcement, just scroll down to the " I think the guy is a bastard, "

    :-)

  • Just don't go there it can never end well.

  • Well he obviously just likes the excitement and rush of 'maybe we'll get caught', and that is the only reason he wants to sleep with you [i don't mean that he doesn't find you attractive, but you know]. Unfortunately for him, that is the only excitement in his life. Don' be the other woman, even if it is all about the sex, you need to convince yourself that he is no good, and that the thought of what could be is what make this sooo irresistible. Once it is over, you will most likely regret it. So don't go there. Your new mantra is mine: "mind over matter".

  • Hi, I know what it's like to lust after someone and push things a little too far... each step of the way making little compromises just because you desire someone or an experience too much.

    It's dangerous thin ice you're walking on. I empathise with you because I've been there (maybe not your exact situation), but I know what it's like to feel so weak because of the temptation. You must be strong and fight it, because to give in would be putting yourself and that man in a lot of danger. You will get very hurt if you give in to him, not only that but you will hurt him, his wife and his children. I know it's really really hard, but you have to find a way to distance yourself from him. This is my advice. I feel for you and I will be praying for you to be strong.

  • "hisangel"... yea, that girl's comment is seriously the best comment here.. that's the one I'd focus on more..

  • Try not to let people sleep with you badly.

    If they're going to sleep with you they should at least want to do it well.

  • I would lose all contact with him.

  • He is just a frustrated guy who doesn't think abt his family and wants to sleep wid every girl they meet,his thoughts are clear,he wants to bang you just like most married men do(dont mind but guys think this type).

    Ignore him,dont answer his calls,lemme tell you a thing girl,u are a very soft hearted woman

    so this thing keeps onto you again and again.

    Take my advice,1 day u'll find d perfect person who will love and respect you and I assure u,with him you would have the same type of feeling and it would be much better.Trust me.

  • he just wants sex. not healthy. steer clear from these selfish and creepy guys.

  • I think it's clear what he wants. You can either sleep with him and get it over with or firmly tell him never to come near you again...you have to do one or the other.

  • For one separate yourself from him; tell him clearly the answer is no and that you will no longer go out and get drinks with him as it is the intoxication that will lower your guard. He wants sex, it's obvious, and nothing more. You need to respect yourself and your morals by avoiding this man.

    • I just don't get it, I have seen him refusing loads of girls, saying I'm married and I love my wife... why me?

    • Because he likes YOU. It doesn't mean wants to wantonly have sex with as many women as he can, that's not how cheating works, instead he sees something in you that attracts him. To that end however he needs to learn the line between fatal attraction and just dreaming; his fantasies need to stay that way, if anything for but himself. I can't imagine the guilt the guy will feel if this is his first time cheating.

    • No, it is not his first time, he told me he did it before

  • Go take a cold shower and wake up! What kind of SLUT are you that would knowingly do what you have been doing with someone YOU KNOW IS MARRIED, then ask us what you can do about it!

    HERE PEOPLE! I know lots of you will read this question and the answers, well for all of you wondering and asking from time to time what a SLUT is! This 30 + year old chick it the perfect example

    • How mean.

    • Not mean enough! At stake here are two innocent kids who only want a normal life with a mom and dad. We have the father in this case who wants to put his d*** in some c**t and she who full well knows he has a family, is married etc is thinking about spreading her legs for him. That is as low as it gets, and I feel exactly the same if it was the other way around, the mother out trying to whore herself out. I've f**ked a lot of guys, but not a GD one of them ever had a wife and kids at home.

  • Dont give him what he wants in fact be as big as a bitch as you can then just walk away!

  • "What does he want from me?"

    You mean you don't know? How coy.

    "What can I do?"

    Simple: F*ck him. Or don't.

    He's a bastard, most definitely, and you'd be a fool to have a serious relationship with him. BUT, he's a hot bastard that's under your skin, and has made it perfectly clear that he's available to you. You want him, and you can have him. Would it make a nice person? No. But given the way you talk about him, I suspect you can get past that if you really want to.

    Note to girls: When a guy carves out large portions of his free time to be with you, for no obvious reason, it's never "completely casual and friendly." I get that this is a defense mechanism, but some part of your mind needs to be awake and realizing that he's angling for your panties.

  • What does he want? He wants to have sex.

    How can you stop it if you're not sure you'll be able to control yourself? Talk to him as least as possible. Even if you don't feel like it, be cold and distant towards him. Avoid him at every chance you get. Separating like that (physically) helps you separate emotionally too.

    If you're horny, find other ways to entertain yourself. That shouldn't be a problem considering we live in 21st century

  • "I love my wife, and I wouldn't leave her".

    This. He's a cheating bastard. And you would be an idiot to sleep with him.

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