Why does my boyfriend want to have a 3-way?

he realized he is in love with me after cheating on me about a month ago. I forgave him and we are still working together to get our relationship to recover. but so soon he asks about a 3-way? I said I'm cool with it (him me and another woman) but I'm re-thinking what his motives are because our sex life is amazing.. help please!

if I mention how I feel to him will he think I'm insecure or not trusting? ..insecurity ruins relationships


Most Helpful Guy

  • If you are not honest with him about your feelings you are not really in a realtionship, you are going out of your way to please him and puting your interest behind his, relationships are about compramise, give and take, if he wants a threesome and you are not comfortable set some boundaries or you could end up in much worse situations. Sounds like he wants to have an open realtoinship so he can see and have sex with other people, you forgave him and now he thinks he can play around and you won't do anything about it. If you don't want an open relationship end it otherwise enjoy it and have fun...


What Guys Said 7

  • Why a three-way? He's just trying to fulfill a fantasy, that's all.

    Stupid move, though, for him to bring it up while major trust issues exist in the relationship.

    Note to dudes: if you think you'll want a three-way, speak up early and choose your girls with care. If she doesn't want it, you'll never talk her into it.

  • hmmmm, the guy cheats on you...what was the "reason" he gave for that? oh yeah he loves you now though? So he loves you and feels that having a third person enter your relationship for a 3 way while you are working on the relationship after he cheated is a good idea. I think deep down you already know the answer to this one and just needed it validated. Like Katie said, ask him if he's okay with bringing in another man. See what his reaction is then. I think you're smart to "re-think" this...you should be "re-thinking" a lot of things with this guy. Motives? what do you think his motives are? because you do already know the answer. Good luck.

    • He went across the world for vacation got drunk cheated by accident. that's what he told me. he realized he loves me because he felt the guilt and pain from cheating. he asked his dad for advice.his dad asked him if he is upset to tell me about cheating because it will hurt me or because he's afraid to lose me. that's when he realized he loves me.. because he doesn't want to lose me. but now I'm thinkin he wants me and another girl?

  • True, insecurity can put stress on relationships, but lies ruin them.

  • You have a narcissistic boyfriend, it's all about him. He will cheat again.

  • Wait, a month ago? You're an idiot. Leave him. Also, according to him, your sex life blows and living out ridiculous fantasies for the street cred. is worth more than your uh... yeah.

  • Well why not suggest MMF threesome? Level the playing field a bit?


What Girls Said 1

  • Hmmm! Lets see now, a short time ago he cheated on you, gets you back and right away wants a 3 way? If I didn't know better I would think he is looking for p**** other than yours.

    Wake up girl this guy is a loser, big time!

    Tell him yea, your all for the 3 some, that you will start immediately looking for another guy to join in. See how excited he is about that?

    He has one thing on his mind! PUSSY and not necessarily yours.

    • Damn I guess I'm trying to deny what's right in front of my face because I don't want to see it.. but if I ask for a guy instead won't he think I'm looking for another d***? which isn't the case because I don't think I would be able to fool around with someone else in front of him

    • Show All
    • I made him get checked! it was negative! thank god! he cheated in the phillipines on vacation he said he told her no he was just more drunk than he's ever been that was his excuse. and I know that's not exceptable but I do love him and I know he loves me but I'm still confused I don't want to set myself up for another incident like this.. I know anything can happen but I forgive him. and trust him for the most part I guess I don't want to have to let him go? what should I do..?

    • I'm sorry but I think I have told what you should do, but that is not what your going to do. You are going to go on believing everything is just fine, letting this guy run your life and he is going to cheat again, I'd bet already in fact. I sure wish I could be wrong for your sake, but there is nothing about this relationship that hasn't been seen over and over again. You seem very nice and I wish you good luck