Alternatives to intercourse?

Whenever I have sex with a guy I don't really like to have his thing anywhere inside me. What I love about sex is kissing and touching each other all over and giving each other orgasms. However people don't consider that to be real sex. Why not? Why is sex so one dimensional and rigidly defined? I am very curious about everyone's opinion on this.

 

What's Your Opinion?

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Most Helpful Opinion

  • Well I have never had sex. but so far am really not too concerned with it except for worrying about it.. I mean I am not thinking, oh I can't wait till I get laid. It is more like, how uncomfortable will it be, what if he is one of those guys that pounds or hammers , what if I don't want to talk to him after.. etc.I am fine with everything else. I have never given a guy a HJ but I would probably be ok with tat. Bow jobs not so much - it is pretty unhygienic & it seems degrading especially id I love someone, I would not want them to see me that way - plus if he got really excited& started ramming my head closer -i would probably be so mad I would stop talking to him.. I don't want to see a more selfish side of him which happens a lot when you are about to cum, a HJ means I do not suffer for someone else's pleasure.I will probably try sex at some point cause I am curious but it dos not bother me not to have it, & I hate how sooo many little moves people make are assume to be a pre-lude for sex.I once had like a week long saga cause I kissed some guy - he thought it meant for sex, I did not realize he took it that way & if we could not understand each other at all.I think guys put way too much emphasis on intercourse at the cost of sooo much more.& It is excepted because 'it is natural, we are supposed to pro- create' Well, we are not pro-creating with condoms & birth control, so we don't actually NEED to have sex all the time.It is really hard to get an answer as to WHY it is so important, but to get a DEMAND for it - split second.

What Guys Said 7

  • Sex doenst have to involve penetration, most guys expect it, most girls don't like it or need clitoral stimulation to acheive orgasm.

  • I think the definition of sex that involves penetration is largely there because of reproduction. You can kiss, touch, and give orgasms all you want, but without penetration, you will not get pregnant. As such, the definition of "true sex" comes from vaginal intercourse and the ability to get pregnant.This isn't to say that your views on sex are wrong. Tons of women prefer foreplay to actual penetration. The thing to remember is that you will probably be hard pressed to find a guy who is willing to do without penetration, because he has sexual needs that need to be met too. If you are really good at giving handjobs/blowjobs, some guys might be fine with that. However, if he ends up having to go and finish himself off every time, then he will probably tire of it quite fast.

  • "However people don't consider that to be real sex. Why not?"Because people are, sometimes, very stupid. Fortunately, you need not let general stupidity affect how you live.You have the right idea. Go with it, and let the fools be.

  • It sounds like to me you're a closet lesbian. You would prefer a cold dildo next to you rather than a man with a warm living hard d***.

  • what you are talking about is mutual masturbation, its not really sex, very pleasurable but I will have to agree with most people here. Intercourse is just as good and even better when you do it the right way. You just need to find your own way to enjoy it.

  • Its true, sex is kind of necessary. It can be sensual as hell, you should enjoy it as well. Is the guy just jack-hammering away or something? Penetration is not always necessary to have fun, but it really does need to happen here and there. I consider nothing else "sex" unfortunately. I am a one sided person it seems. Hope I helped, sorry its not what you were looking for.

  • because sex is supposed to be pleasurable, most girls love having a guys d*** in them, most girls get orgasms from actual sex, its supposed to be pleasurable for both side, many your boyfriend is not having sex with you pleasurable enough, have you actually had sex, proper sex

What Girls Said 2

  • What you are describing is foreplay. I wonder if you don't have some sort of issues that might need working thorough. You are 27 and can't even type the word penis. ( unless of course you are like many on here and lie about your age and are really 16 then it is okay to not like the intercourse part yet. Just wait until you are ready.) There is nothing wrong with only liking the kissing and touching part but you will be hard pressed to find a man who will be satisfied with just that. Foreplay is a part of sex but it is like leaving something half done if that is all you do.

  • no my darling only narrow minded people have narrow definitions of sex. sex encompasses a variety of things and traditional penetration is only one of them. there is now penetration of things like your bum or the mouth with fingers or fists (ouch) or toys, etc. Oral sex for women is still considered sex (no penetration). there are a lot of narrow minded people though who argue that the only sex is d*** in vag sex. to hell with them. you don't have to have traditional d*** in vag sex if you don't want to and you shouldnt feel like you have to. I have a friend who only gives hand jobs and blow jobs. she just doesn't want to have vaginal sex or anal sex because she isn't into it. plus she doesn't want to get preggo and anal sex is not even an option to her. i mean for example I am bisexual and I love women. I'm dating a girl now and I have heard some people (mostly I hear this online lol) say that while gay men can have sex (because they think all sex is is penetration) lesbians on the other hand can't actually have sex. at the end of the day it really doesn't matter. people should just do what they enjoy and you should never feel pressured to do anything jut because its defined a certain way. I don't know any lesbians worried about the definition of sex. they just do what gets them off, and orgasms are a big thing for them. I don't think I strongly prefer one over the other but I will say that the women I have been with have been very good at what they do without the need of a dildo or anything half of the time. there are a lot of men who can't please a woman as well as a lesbian can with her tongue and fingers. and that's the truth. lol

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