Anyone else here a virgin, but not by choice?

[Anonymous]

What I mean is, you haven't had sex yet not because you don't want to, but because you can't find anyone to have sex with you? That sounds blunt and shallow but I don't know how else to say it. I've been single my whole life, and a virgin my whole life. Now I'm not out for sex, or I'm not some douche bag or anything, I just haven't found a girl who finds me attractive, oh well... I'm just asking to see if anyone else is in my boat. Even if I could turn it down I'd love to be asked for sex just once just to know someone finds me worthy... It's starting to hurt like gonorrhea and I haven't even had sex.

[AgentWD40x]

I am 28 years old, and I am still a virgin. I can't even get a girl to go out with me for that matter. People have told me that I am smart for not having a girlfriend or a wife, but actually I feel the exact opposite. I feel very incompetent. I have struggled all my life to form meaningful relationships with people. If nothing changes, then nothing changes. If you held a gun to my head and told me to get a girlfriend, you just might end up shooting me.

I know that I am a smart and good looking guy. I have earned a degree in engineering, and I am well versed in the realm of physics. Also my body is the healthiest it has been my whole life. I have noticed that girls though don't really look for smart or good looking guys. A girl's attraction for you is based on how you make them feel. Girls say that they look for a guy with confidence, but they actually go out with some of the biggest jerks in the world. These guys are some of the most insecure bastards out there. These girls confuse confidence with arrogance, and it is their undoing, because they look at the outward signs rather than the heart.

It seems like I will be like this my whole life. If nothing changes, then nothing changes. If I can never form meaningful relationships with people or find someone to share my life with, then I will just have to go back to the one thing that I am good at-- being smart.

[ArtistBboy]

Your currently belief is that "having sex makes you worthy"... But in reality it doesn't... Check this out:

Most of my friends that "had sex" when they were my age (I relax with an older crowd), have kids with women that don't respect them; the women are constantly nagging and griping about how the man isn't doing his job, etc... All of that came from rushing their lives (trying to have sex at an early age, leading to a pregnancy, leading to getting together.. etc)..

I think you're actually above the rest of us. Virginity should be valued more highly in todays society; especially with how the media overhypes women as sex-trophies. I think the whole ordeal is repulsive. I miss the golden-days of cowboys and chivalry, infact I live by that very standard of being chivalrous.

Keep your chin up, you will be fortunate enough to find the right girl. And why do you say that people don't find you attractive? If it's a weight problem, I may be able to help you with a gym routine if your interested.. If it's something else, let me know

~ ArtistBBoy

[Asker]

I was stating a bit of a hyperbole. It's not a weight problem, well I don't feel it is. People just don't find me attractive, girls have said it to my face. Some emotionally not attracted, other physical. What I meant was, that I've tried real hard and failed each time, it's a blow to my self esteem. I wouldn't take sex if randomly offered but it'd be a boost to my confidence to have it be offered to me.

[peace-love-couture]

You shouldn't base your self esteem or confidence on sex.Sex doesn't make you any more or less attractive.It won't make you feel loved or wanted,and if it gives you that "high" then you suffer from low self esteem and that's an issue that has to be fixed on it's own.People who blatantly call other people ugly are insecure and have their own self esteem and self image issues to deal with

[Asker]

It's not just sex it's also that girls just don't like me enough to date me. Knowing nothing but rejection can do that to a person.

[peace-love-couture]

Yes,rejection hurts,but everyone gets rejected,don't take it to heart.Maybe you're chasing after the wrong girls.a.k.a shallow,superficial brainless chicks

[ArtistBboy]

I can relate exactly to what you're saying, but you've seen how well that belief works for you, you're still getting the same behavior from women and your not getting the gratification of offers/opportunities. So instead, I suggest that we find out what works. Read this blog and get back to me: https://www.fullofhateandreadytodate.com/ I'll answer any questions you have as best as I can.

[sa230e]

But realize you're in a catch-22 situation here: You have low self-esteem because women say you're unattractive and you're unattractive to women because you have low self esteem. You don't have to be a jerk to get women to like you - you just have to be a man. Don't be fooled: you're attractiveness in women's eyes isn't based on your looks Hold your head high. Keep your integrity. I really do understand what you're feeling. I've been there. I still feel it sometimes but you have to fight it.

[ArtistBboy]

Or rather than "fight it".. "f*** it"... Classify it as one of those stupid societal beliefs, because THATS WHAT IT REALLY IS.. There's no sense in overvalueing such a trait. Having sex / being unattractive / etc, those are very small minute things.. There's a bigger picture: Comedy / Confidence / Teasing / Bantering / Priorities / Moral / Self-respect / Self-worth / etc.. There are SOOOOOOOO many things you can do with a personality to actually make yourself more attractive than you "appear".

[Anonymous]

I am a virgin,but then again,I'm 16(16 year old virgin is very rare these days) but I've never been asked.

Maybe because I'm not the prettiest or sexiest chick.

hell I'll be lucky If I ever get asked out:/

[Asker]

I'm feeling the same way. I'd tell you it will happen, the same thing that a lot of people tell me but it's yet to happen so I'm saying it won't, but it's hard believing it when it hasn't happened.

[Opinion Owner]

I know.people say it will but then it never does.It's like a disappointment:/ But life doesn't end there

[ComicStix]

Well I'm in the under 18 crowd so I'm on the boat! but you're only 18 to 24 so obviously you're going to find someone someday. Keep those eyes open!

[Texas-Flirt]

I'm not on that boat. But I just wanted to tell you to keep you head up, and remember there's some one for everyone! ;D

[sa230e]

Hey I'm a virgin too and not by choice either. And yeah I used to get down on myself about it until I realized how stupid a concept it is. I then decided to stop using sexual experience as a basis for my sense of self worth. I'm more than just a penis so why should I allow others or myself to judge me based on that alone?

And also the truth is that, if you focus on it, it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. Women desire confident and secure men and it's hard to be sexy if you let the shame of your virginity eat you up inside. Also remember they're women, not men. Although women today are much more free to be sexual than they once were we haven't come so far yet where most women will straight up ask a man for sex. It's not that it won't happen but it's highly unlikely.

Stop thinking about your virginity and start thinking about your good qualities. Focus on making your life more interesting and bettering yourself as a person. Find a new hobby or something to be passionate about. Start fulfilling your other dreams and women will notice.

[NMMan]

This is by far the best answer.

[bigcrebs]

23 and I'm a virgin. definitely same boat as you. I have to have someone attractive to have sex with, but the only ones I find are being hit on by El Suave so my game doesn't really compete.

[frustratedchump06]

I'm a virgin and I'm 22, it's not by choice though

[Tasos96]

I'm in the exact same situation man. I often just have an emotional breakdown I can't take it anymore. I've had countless days of feeling really down and not wanting to get out of bed and just feel like doing nothing. I still go out I'm not like that all the time I just can't find anyone interested in me. I seriously don't know why !

[TheChatWanderer]

If all you guys joined a dating site you will all get pussy. And if any of you guys need advice let me know. I'm no casanova but I can help you all increase your chances of getting some hot pussy.

[Anonymous]

Ohhhh man. I am aboard the same boat! I'm 22 and it hasn't really happened. I haven't really had much of a clear opportunity either? I'm reasonably good-looking and I'm a good guy. WTF!? Maybe we need to jerks to girls? I only want to have sex with someone I find attractive (I am not super picky, but I like the thinner pretty girls). They are always being snatched up by either suave douchers or guys that are logically no good for anyone, but are with the hottest chicks anyway. I am getting so frustrated with this, too. Anyway...

Good Luck!

[Anonymous]

I am by choice but when some girls from school found out I was, a few of them were all over me. They wanted to take it away for some reason, so my question is: does anyone know you are a virgin?

[Asker]

Oh yeah they know. It's not really a secret, but even the girls I went after knew. (Obviously I just didn't say it, the topic came up and we talked about it)

[Opinion Owner]

Lol yeah I wouldn't think you would introduce yourself as a virgin. I guess my case is a rare occurrence then. How often do you put yourself out there? Basically, if some women find you unattractive, that doesn't mean they all will. The whole "beauty is in the eye of the beholder" saying. I'm sure you've heard that many times before though.

[Asker]

If I see a girl who catches my eye in a special way, I introduce myself. We become friends, and when the moment feels right I ask her out and boom rejected every time.