I know one of the most common sexual fantasies among girls is to be raped. I can understand that as it makes them very submissive while the guy is very dominant. But you don't want to actually be raped in reality, right?
So when a girl fantasize about getting raped, does that mean that she just want to meet a very dominant guy?
Yeah it doesn't have anything to do with the actual violent act.
Like all things feminine, it's kind of complicated. :) But I think there is a bunch of hidden desires being played out in a rape fantasy. 1) There is a man who doesn't have to ask what you want, he knows what you want and is giving it to you. He knows you have some hidden desire to be completely free to enjoy yourself and he knows you are never going to do that, so he is going to take the lead and give it to you. 2) He is freeing you to enjoy yourself cause you don't have a choice in the matter. 3) He is so obsessed/enamored with you that he can't help himself. 4) You are the one being pleasured, not the guy. While obviously he would be enjoy himself, in a rape fantasy most women would imagine he is "raping" her for her pleasure. And she can just lay back and not worry about all of his needs. Those can all be reasons for it.
But the biggest thing for women always seems to be that it's a freedom to enjoy sex without guilt. A lot of women struggle with feeling guilty over enjoying sex so the rape fantasy fixes that cause you got a guy forcing you to enjoy it.
I'm sure there are some women that actual dream about rape but that is a little more masochistic. Women can have really romantic "rape" fantasies that don't involve violence at all. They are probably in a safe environment, with a guy they trust not to hurt them (whether real or made up person) and after she is probably grateful it happened, not feeling violated or abused.
So I know to a guy it seems so odd to fantasy about something so traumatizing but it isn't really rape in the strictest since. More of a well meaning, strong man, who wants to please you.
I think it is a little different for everybody, but I think there are very few people who would actually enjoy being raped in real life. (There are probably some, but they would be the very extreme end of things, and for them even it would probably depend on the situation.)
I have a kind of rape fantasy but it is milder even than many people's I think. It is more about the guy being somewhat dominant and also just really wanting to have sex with me than about actually being forced into anything. I would most definitely not want to be raped for real. That would be horrible.
I don't know that the most common fantasy is specifically rape. Instead, I think many women fantasize about being seduced and willfully overpowered. Naturally, we are built to be very aesthetically pleasing to men, and I think we are instinctively turned on by feeling like we are really turning a guy on to the point that he 'has to have us', when it's happening in a fantasy world where there aren't any societal restrictions about going along with it.
Thus, the fantasy of being dominated is a turn on because we are actually dominating the man's attraction to us, causing him to need us and to want to overpower us. By being dominated, we are dominating the man because he has to have us, wants to use us and do what he wants with us.
However, I am taking care in the wording of this; the fantasy of being dominated is probably NOT often paired with a desire to be physically hurt, beaten, or seriously afraid. And no, we do NOT want to be raped in reality.
yes, it means she wants a very dominant guy. No one in their right mind wants to be raped but the thought of a guy just throwing you down and taking you and showing you that he's stronger than you and at that moment all he wants is you is hot.
Is it because the rape'e' is not having to be responsible for the fulfillment of another human beings desires for once and the rape fantasy gives her permission to relax in a world that is guilt free?
I'd noticed my ex used to enjoy being raped silly as long as she was pretending to not want the overt attention, with the focus of being forced to receive oral sex with the rapist saying things like 'oh look...Your getting wet...You love getting raped don't you...Ad noisome.
Horses for courses and fillies for fantasies...ie each to their own.