Guys: Do you really get offended, if your girl does not want to touch you penis?

[Anonymous]

WHY & HOW : I thought guys separate, emotions feelings, & sex, & or things of a sexual nature... Yet I have noticed on gag posts lately, guys attaching a lot of significance to the girls touch- or there lack of , during erection time, or intercourse or just making out. So how do you feel, if she does not want to TOUCH your penis? Not even taking about blow job or hand job, just not touching it. Anyone? :-)

[Blackkid]

"I thought guys separate, emotions feelings, & sex, & or things of a sexual nature..."

Popular myth, actually. It's a "misquote" in the scientific sense; males don't separate feelings and sex, they don't intertwine feelings and sex, sex is a physical experience for males whilst sex is usually more of an emotional / mental experience for females, but neither sex actually creates a solid disconnect ( thus why males stick with partners they love and respect and females will go on a hunt for some d*** ) between themselves and an aspect.

"So how do you feel, if she does not want to TOUCH your penis?"

Ugly. Unwanted. Distraught. After all how would you feel if your partner did everything they could during sex ( including foreplay ) to not touch a part of you that is fundamental to your experience? Not only because of the physical value but the emotional value behind touching your partner intimately in the first place. Really that's like yearning for a partner to touch your breasts or clitoris and having them say "No, it's ugly, it's disgusting!"

[Asker]

"Popular myth,; males don't separate feelings and sex, don't intertwine feelings and sex, sex is a physical experience for males whilst sex.. " ( AGREEING or disagreeing- I'm confused?lol) Human beings have emotional reactions to EVERYTHING. Getting punched will make you FEEL something.. to say that men simply have o emotional reaction to sex is just not true- there is no such thing. They do feel, barring severe autism or psychotic break- woman & men emotionally respond to everything^ :-)

[Asker]

Btw, thank you for answering so in depth- very enlightening &it makes sooo much sense- about your reaction, to a hypothetical situation - thanks!. :-)

[Asker]

To explain, why this is so strange to me : "Really that's like yearning for a partner to touch your breasts or clitoris and having them say -No, it's ugly, it's disgusting!" You see, I actually feel better when my partner does NOT touch me in those areas - I am new to sexual stuff & I still confuse between a boyfriend ^ who I LIKE & who likes ME/ & any guy just after my body & not personality. -It makesme feel unwanted as a person, under-appreciated,undervalued etc. Not always- I catch my self ^^

[GuyAcrossTheRoom]

Dont mind to dabble in this discussion given im currently in such a situation. To answer your question... do I get offended? Not necessarily, but do i get frustrated? Absolutely. I'm quite certain I wouldn't step out on my g/f but I have to admit that I contemplate the scenario of messing with another female SIMPLY to have my dick touched, handled, licked and sucked b/c it's not like it is hard to find. So if a partner or SO isn't going to simply touch it then you're gonna have to expect to never get a handjob or blowjob which is extremely bothersome for a sexual guy. ESPECIALLY if the female enjoys cunnilingus, play w/ fingers/hands, and intercourse.

[katiesmuff]

Are you trying to say you don't want to give hand jobs or blowjobs either? I would think most guys would take a real dim view of that and it is possible you will have a very hard time having any kind of lasting relationship with a guy.

[Asker]

NO I am ont actually talking about myself. I just wanted to know how guys felt about these things, ( emotional connection & reaction to certain parts of themselves being recognized or not) not what should or should not do. BUt thanks for the extra advice... It'll be a long journey lol :-)

[dreamtime]

I think for a lot of guys, it'd end up in you coming back to this website to ask "why do cheaters exist" with the most logical answer being sexual satisfaction as a lot of/most guys need/want some form of touch.

Unless you have a good reason(in his eyes) for not willing to do so, that's my answer.

[Asker]

Ok. fair enough. But their is no 'he', I want to know from real guys how it makes them feel... I am not worried about my boyfriend , just curious about the male sexual psyche. Thanks. :-)

[Asker]

In addition, you said nothing about how it makes guys feel emotionally. Guys or girls can cheat for sexual satisfaction.. That was specifically what I was NOT asking about. I want to know about the emotional effect , because I said in the post, I have noticed guys saying then have an emotional connection to their penis & are thus affected positively or negatively, depending on their Gf's response not their lack of , to their penis. :-)

[dreamtime]

I actually thought it was obvious, we'd feel unwanted for you not being willing to touch our penis.Ask yourself how it'd feel if your boyfriend wouldn't want to touch your vagina and/or breasts. It'd make us feel like there's something wrong with us which is hardly emotionally satisfying.

[Asker]

"I actually thought it was obvious, " :-) -No not at all actually - am really very surprised... Well I guess since I do not have one, & very little experience sexually, lol it makes it a bit esoteric for me. Thank you for clarifying - VERY helpful. ^ ^

[Asker]

Um, actually I feel better if he does NOT touch my vagina or breasts.... Which I guess is at least partially why, I am confused as to how HE might be offended or feel unwanted.. ^ If a guy touches me in those places I feel the same way you do if a girl does NOT touch you - wow. Thanks again for sharing your view :-)

[Asker]

Small pont - I meant OR lack of- not not lack of. lol Probably didn't even register with you , but just incase. :-)

[dreamtime]

It didn't register with me and I guess that's fair enough, can't say I've had many women feeling uncomfortable about touch unless they've have traumas...

[Asker]

Hmm I would have tught iit would be a more prevelant response , because of al the junk that wiman are taught of how guys are monsters & jus jafter their body & havig no real worth otherbeing a sexal commodity, you have 2 caps, thise who use it & tis who denyit. Of course it is all fallacious, but I would assume people would fall prey to it. Look at this sight, it amazes me the negative views many woman hold of men, then the next question is "How do I keep him" I am always surprised. :-) -

[ArizonaRX]

First part thankfully has been answered by other guys. I'm just going to shake my head and laugh.

How would I feel if she didn't want to touch my penis?

Probably the same way she would feel if I didn't want her to touch my penis. Makes sense doesn't it?

[Asker]

Perfect - exactly.. lol -I actually tried to use that logic on myself to appreciate the fact he was invitign me, instead of getting offended. -(A while ago, this post is ont expressly for ME- you remindeme of a situation was in & I turned things around EXACTLY like that) -It ALMOST worked, difference being he WANTED me to not other way around. -Hard to understand others feel about something you are not relating to- - I do not relate wel to the Penis. Itis likea strange is there - disorienting

[ArizonaRX]

I'd you understood the technique I used there. Seems it went right over at least 2 peoples heads.

[yengesi]

"I thought guys separate, emotions feelings, & sex,"

That's a myth made up by bitter women. Stop believing it. Men may not process the emotional side of sexuality in the same way that women do, but that doesn't make us unfeeling or wrong, just different.

"So how do you feel, if she does not want to TOUCH your penis?"

Frankly, there are plenty of women out there without quirky hangups about sex. All other things being equal, why would I put up with something like that?

[Asker]

:-) I do not know that y would put up with something like that.. .All the same, new to relationships here- - just curious. Thanks for responding* btw I not sure it is so much bitter woman as cultural stereotype enforcing, warped views & of what is, should be & is excepted as being, a male & or female sexual psyche. Lots of the crap people think or simply repeat it, is really shoved down thee throats at a truly menacing rate - I think. - I am not bitter- I still don't know men & their P ^ ^

[l-hedoniste]

Depends on how offended she gets when some other girl touches it instead.

[Asker]

Haha ^ ^ :-)

[GingerGuy]

Why would you not want to first off. And yes we would be kind of. Think about how you would feel if a guy didn't want to touch your vagina, we have all the same thoughts and feelings as you would.

[GingerGuy]

"I just wanted to know how guys felt about these things, ( emotional connection & reaction to certain parts of themselves being recognized or not) not what should or should not do." - like your vagina, when we get aroused, the desire to have it touched is VERY strong! So not only are we not getting satisfied, but we'd wonder why? Is she not turned on and/or turned off? Are we "gross" or "disgusting"? Doesn't make us feel very desired, and for me personally would be a major turn off.

[abc--123]

my girlfriend used to always play with my penis, but in the last year or so she's gradually been doing it less and less and now for a few months she wnt touch it. its not nice that she wnt touch it and makes sex very boring but I'm sure that if you made it clear at the start of the relationship it'd be fine its just weird with me because it went from so much to nothing.

hope I helped

[Asker]

Yeah thank you! That helps a lot. :-)

[TheG1K]

To the first bit, myth.

2nd bit: the logic works a bit like this:

I'd feel the same as a girl would feel if I didn't find her sexy

She could like and touch my arms, abs etc, but if she won't touch my penis or doesn't like to then it'll feel a lot like she doesn't sexually like me.

[Asker]

That makes good sense. Thank you. :-) L

[efaeorfhpae]

Ya its very offensive!

[Anonymous]

Phobia of penis, some guys might not like the idea of a girl who doesn't want to touch it, I'm pretty sure it is requried in order to make a baby. Some guys can form an emotional bond with a partner others can not for all sorts of reasons, some need the emotional connection others do not...just depends on the individual everyone is different.

[Asker]

There could be other reasons than phobia- I did not really think of the reason - just wanted to now how guys / YOU feel about it. ( ex. In the moment you may not get an explanation but it would still occur- so the question was about how it makes you feel.) Thank you. :-)