Submissive girl

I'm very submissive in sex, I love to be forced into things and told what to do, and I'm the only girl I know who loves a guy to do things like jizz on her face, haha - but I'm starting to worry guys just don't want this!

There's this sterotype I guess that guys take control, but most guys I talk to seem to have a secret fantasy that the girl take control and tell him what to do and things - do guys on here feel the same?

I'm concerned that guys don't have as much fun with me as they'd like because I'm no good at taking charge!


Most Helpful Guy

  • First off, I think both guys and girls like it when our partners are turn on, initiating, and dominate because it makes us feel wanted and attractive to our partner. It is a reassurance that we still turn them on! If I'm the one always initiating and always in control, I might tend to feel like my partner wasn't really all that interested and just playing along.

    Partly for that reason and partly just to keep things fresh, I like to have it mixed up: some times she is in charge, other times it is me, and sometimes it is a mutual thing.

    With all the media and education around sexual abuse, I think it may be hard for some guys to accept and embrace the dominate role you seek. It make take some time to develop a level of trust where your guy will really know what you want and feel comfortable playing the part.

    I don't think most guys would have any problem fulfilling your optimal sex scenario outlined here, but it will take some developed trust, remember to mix it up now and then, and let him know YOU want it from HIM to get him interested.


What Guys Said 19

  • Just say what you want. Some will agree instantly, and most of the rest will want to try, because they think it's cool or you're cool.

  • I'm a dominate guy in sex. No question. I had one girl that wanted to take control and I just wasn't into it. So I stick to submissive girls.

  • I like to take control and tell her what to do , where to go and what position she should be in . You are a normal girl so don't panic.


  • Dominating and showing initiative are two completely different things.

    • Agreed. Everyone keeps mixing those up. I'll initiate sex, but then my boyfriend will want to dominate me. Or he'll initiate, and I'll get really into it and start dominating him. Two very different terms lol.

  • I would say I sometimes have fantasies about taking control, however I and most men would never tell a girl I was dating that for obvious reasons. If you want them to play that part you probably need to make it very clear to them and perhaps tell them multiple times.

  • For the most part, guys do enjoy taking control, but on occasion it is nice when a girl asserts herself more. For the most part though, guys do like being the one on top.

  • ell you hav the rite attributes to turn on any guy...well ya a guy likes to get dominated too but that is rare thing, he mite want it only once a month...but most of the time he would love to throw d jizz on the face

  • Like women guys are all different in what they like. I personally have recently discovered my Dom side. and I LOVE IT!! I LOVE a submissive woman in the bedroom. A woman who will do as she's told and yes loves HAVING a guy cumm on her face and in her mouth. I especially LOVE anal and any woman who enjoys having a man take her asshole, esp if it's something that's "against her will" (Not that I condone rape in any form) That really gets me going and makes the sex even better for both of us. I think the problem is that you have just been meeting the wrong type of men in the wrong places, Where you live has a lot to do with this. I know California (where I live) has a very lg population of people in the BDSM lifestyle. Don't worry, there are men out there that are into the same stuff. Try going on www alt com or www fetlife com (don't forget the dots) I'm sure you'll find what and who you're looking for. And if not come to Ca. and i'll be your master and treat you like the slut that you know you are. :) ( i do cumm pretty big loads though)

  • i think you have to poke your finger in his bum once in a while

  • because women are so indirect, and because of sexual harassment over any and everything and what not, its very hard to become a dominant male. You always have to ask yourself if the woman wants this or not, because some women don't vocalize a clear no.

    Safe words are good, once youve established a safe word I personally tend to relax alot. Both know it might go a bit far, but the safeword is kinda like the contract, once its uttered everything can go back to normal.

  • girl taking control? Yea right.

  • Youth is great at some things...but life experience is not one of them.

    D/s is all about trusting and learning. You will find well over twenty fake Doms to every serious one. As your experience grows so will your outlook and recognition in D/s or BDSM for that matter.

    Try to take comfort in the fact that some of us really do enjoy taking the reigns in a girls life or actions. We revel in push a girl (or guy for some) into doing things that normally would be off the agenda. Pushing her limits, Forcing exciting sexual activities upon her.

    True I personally don't want a weeping willow for a submissive, girlfriend, wife whatever. I DO want a girl who is willing to take the initiative sometimes, but pushing YOUR buttons is really what makes me tick.

    OH...just so you know. The submissive in the relationship holds the true power. She decides what will be done and what is off the table.

    Good luck in your search. Don't wear any collar offered to you. Think and be safe.

  • i like a submissive girl (and for the record I would jizz all over your body). but I love to tell the girl what to do its a turn on for me.

  • some like to dominate, some like to submit. I like both. some guys like both. it all depends on the guy.

  • You will suck my d*** bitch and you will like it ha ha.

  • I love girls like you

  • im one of these guys that likes a girl to take charge start blowing me then tell me to come on her face.

    im like this with my girlfriend. I think its cos I don't want to make her do anything she dosnt want to do and I know with somethings shed would just go along with it even if she didn't want to. for example I may want a blowjob but she may not but cos I said I wanted one she does it anyway, I don't even tell her what I like or what I want because she may not like it.

    shes the only person I've ever been sexual with so the things I like she's given me, but as I'm sure uve guessed she dosnt know that I like them.

    i think if I was with a girl like you and we had a sit down and talked about what is ok and what is crossing the line after a while id get used to it and be more assertive. sort of like a training course on how to blow ur mind.


What Girls Said 3

  • Sometimes you have to do things you don't want to...or just make them do things your way. A guy will do anything for sex.

  • I hope u don't get a controlling bf
    That would be scary

  • I think guys are looking for somebody who will give them feedback during the act, so they know what really gets the girl ticking. They don't want to be doing something and wondering the whole time if the girl likes it or if she's just doing it because she feels obligated. Making you happy makes him happy. So naturally guys want a girl who's going to guide them in what they're doing and encourage them; adversely somebody who's going to say stop if they don't like it. If you really don't like something then don't settle for doing it. He shouldn't mind opting for other choices. There are other ways to make everyone happy, granted that there may be times you choose to do something you don't necessarily enjoy just for him. All girls are different with regard to sex, so really guys are taking a shot in the dark when it comes to pleasing different women.