Had a horrible first time, or at least what could have been...what do I do now?

[Anonymous]

I was with my girl and one thing led to another at that time... When the pants came off, she just looked blankly and told me bluntly "Hun...You're so much smaller than my ex...I just can't..I... don't think you can do it for me..." Then she got up flustered, apologized, and left quietly. I felt so terrible after, I actually cried lol. We don't see each other anymore. First off, I'm really hurt by this as that was going to be my first time. I'm shocked too, because it didn't seem like her to feel that way.. Second, do other girls feel the same way about this? The whole size thing, I mean. The average penis is like 6 inches long and 5 inches in girth when erect, right? My penis is about 4 inches long and 4 inches in girth when erect so yeah, it -is- small and thin in case you were wondering. :P Before though, I used to believe what other people had told me; that it was what you did, not the size, that mattered. I always thought to try my best to make sure that whomever I'm with is happy, but I feel like that's not good enough anymore. I feel discouraged and I feel like there's nothing I can do to make up for having a small penis. I feel like -I'm- not good enough anymore no matter how hard I try. I'm scared to get to the same place with another girl because I'm afraid this would just happen again. I just wanna know from other girls... Is the fact that my thing is small going to turn girls away from me? Do ya feel the same way she did about it? Is size a big issue and would you let it get in the way of a guy you like? ._. If a girl says "size doesn't matter, It's fine don't worry," does she honestly mean it or is she just saying that to not hurt your feelings? :S Be 100% completely honest, okay please? Don't say stuff just to make me feel better, or because it seems politically correct! Thanks in advance for answering.

[dance89wrln]

"Is the fact that my thing is small going to turn girls away from me?" - Absolutely not! My ex had about the same size as you, and it didn't bother me one bit. Maybe your partner was using it as an excuse that she didn't want to have sex with you yet... Was she your girlfriend? If she was, then you really should talk to her (even if you don't talk anymore). Write her a message about how you feel, and it will clear things up, trust me.

"Do ya feel the same way she did about it?" - I don't think girls should judge the size of a guy's penis, just like a guy shouldn't judge the size of girls' breasts. You were born with what you were born with, and nothing can change that! A couple should love each other for who they are, not for what they have. When you'll find the right girl, she won't care :) Maybe the fact that this happened was a sign that you shouldn't have had sex at that time; you have to think positive.

" Is size a big issue and would you let it get in the way of a guy you like?" - No, not at all. If it was extremely small it might bother me, but it wouldn't be the reason to break up with them. You're not even considered small... Maybe she was just used to large.

"If a girl says "size doesn't matter, It's fine don't worry," does she honestly mean it or is she just saying that to not hurt your feelings?" - She means it. But not all girls think like this... I know I do, but some girls only care about size.

Good luck!

[beckysue]

I had a boyfriend with a small penis before, I never had an issue as far as sex went. Doggy style was a good position for us. Having a small penis may make certain positions more difficult, like cowgirl. Also, hand jobs were tough, but sex wasn't bad. Really. I liked him a lot at the time so his size never bothered me. A girl who says size doesn't matter is being halfway honest, it doesn't... not really, but bigger is a little more impressive. Impress her with other things, though. Learn how to use your fingers really well, she won't care anymore :)

[midwestangels12]

This whole size issue everyone seems to have, I view it the same as guys who refuse to date girls with small boobs. You can either look at it as a preference thing, you weren't her type but you will be somebody else's type or you can look it at as she is very shallow to be so discrimanatory. Either way, there is nothing wrong with you and you will find someone that wants to be with you.

[TheAnswerer]

Umm... Size doesn't matter. At least, not physically.

Psychologically, however, it does. For some reason, when girls see that you have a huge penis, they are more satisfied with the sex they get, but it is purely psychological.

You know, it is given in some websites that you should insert your thumb to her vagina and press down while stimulating her clit, because the thumb will feel like a huge penis when you press down and this will psychologically make it easier for her to reach orgasms from your clitoral stimulation.

It is a psychological issue, not a physical one.

Also, you can master some techniques for oral, which is a topic that not all guys have knowledge about (compared to the knowledge people have about the actual intercourse).

That can be a big plus for you. Train yourself on how to give the best oral or fingering ever.

Here are some links that have videos on how to stimulate the clitoris, G-Spot and A-Spot with your fingers. 3 different types of orgasms. Try mastering the techniques. Buy a rubber vagina and work on that.

Links:

C-Spot: link

G-Spot: link

A-Spot: link

Watch the first videos on each of the links. Demonstrations are made on rubber vaginas, along with explanations.

P.S.= It is rare to find a male that knows about the A-Spot. Be one of them. It is a big advantage if you know how to stimulate it well.

[beckysue]

This guy's a genius. Intercourse isn't always the best way to satisfy a girl.

[TheAnswerer]

Thank you, beckysue. =)

[ArizonaRX]

That's a tough one my friend. But, don't worry too much about it. A girl as shallow as that with very little class and less sensitivity towards others, if bound to be a douche bag anyway.

You obviously meant very little to her beyond something sexual. If you meant anything to her at all she would have over looked your penis size and tried to make the best of it. Perhaps if she as so "experienced" with her ex-king kong boyfriend, she could have worked with you to make up for her opinion of lack of size.

Not to mention, "I don't think you can do it for me..." To insult someone to their face and in a selfish way, means douche bag to me".

But, at least she was honest and didn't drag out the relationship unhappy. Just keep looking my friend and eventually you will find a less shallow girl that will care for you and not compare your penis size to her ex-boyfriends.Which in it's self tells me that she wasn't over her ex--boyfriend.

[mspeach]

what the heck?what a bitch, I'm sorry but that was a really rude thing to do and say.Size shouldn't matter that much when you LOVE someone...they have to accept you for you even if you aren't confident about what you have down there...

[Anonymous]

i don't think size matters. its all about how they use it. I've seen some guys with pretty large d***s & they don't know how to work it. but there are some guys who have small ones and know how to work it!