Why does he want to go without a condom?

My Friend with benefits says he only enjoys sex without a condom and doesn't want to carry on unless I go on the pill. He lives abroad and we were planning a sexy weekend together but if I don't go on the pill he doesn't seem too bothered if it goes ahead or not. He says he wants to have 'real sex' with me and I'll enjoy it more. I want to experience sex with no condom but only when I know it's exclusive and my partner is definitely clean. Trust me, we have been using condoms up until now!
What's your opinion on guys who say this? I guess if he was that interested in spending time with me he'd wear the condom right... and if he's willing to be that flippant with having sex or not. I shouldn't be that bothered about him...
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Most Helpful Girls

  • If he suddenly wants unprotected sex he's most likely been having unprotected sex with some other girl recently and preferred it (even if you say it was exclusive, and even if he says he's been tested, girl people lie, a lot, plus its friends with benefits he doesn't have to be committed), you have to be careful with that because well this is how STDs spread. I would only want to go unprotected with a guy Im actually dating in a monogamous relationship and legit trust. If he's flipping over a condom then don't bother with him. I was with an friends with benefits for over a year and we never ever did it without a condom.
    "Real sex" LOL jesus christ thats lame. No excuses. If he wants more feeling he should buy thinner condoms. 🙄

    • Love that! That's exactly what I thought. It's such a shame- he's actually an amazing person in all other senses but an idiot when it comes to this! It's so easy to slip on a condom so why bother without! It's far too risky as far as I'm concerned! I shall stick to my guns :). Thanks for the pep talk!

    • No problem :P I ended things with my friends with benefits as well for other reasons, but he was a fun guy and made me laugh but sometimes you just gotta do what you gotta do.

    • Well yeah true. And I don't want to go on the pill just for a casual relationship- thats a serious investment if time and effort (men just don't understand..)

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  • Because most guys actually HATE condom sex. Its not real sex and condoms actually rob you of your sexual enjoyment. Its like actually having sex with the condom itself. Other than than that, you two are in a casual sexual relationship. You both decided on this, now this is your decision. But now your already risking having sex with a partner who could have already done this to other girls before you. That means you are at an even greater risk for STD's. Its no joke.

    • So you agree it'd be a bad idea because it's a casual thing?

    • @Asker Of course it's very bad! I mean, I don't agree with premarital sex anyway. But you never even got tested with this guy, nor have you asked him if he ever got test before. You can still get an STD with and without a condom.

  • Typical guy thing... well.. obviously sex is more pleasurable bare... u gotta think if pill is right for u. ... can be side effects. ? I had my mum and my boyfriend pressuring me to take it when I was at a school. ... so I did... and mostly it's been ok

Most Helpful Guys

  • Condoms are EVIL... but outside of committed relationships, they're a NECESSARY evil - but that doesn't make them any less evil.

    As a man, they rob you of significant sensation, and as a result, many men have trouble reaching orgasm, or even maintaining an erection. They can be uncomfortable, and sometimes even painful. They can also break or slip off sometimes. I could go on, but you get the point.

    The problem is: none of that matters as much as being safe (r) from STDs and unwanted pregnancy, which is why they're a NECESSARY evil.

  • friends with benefits is a casual relationship. I think you're right to insist. If he's that take-it-or-leave-it about having sex with you, my guess is you are not his only partner, so that's all the more reason to continue with condoms only.

    • +1, same here!

    • Thanks I think I'm right too. I just don't get why men would do that in this day and age- sleep with multiple people and not wear condoms! He's an intelligent guy too...

    • I really never understood guys' objections. I used them for years and it's really just a minor inconvenience. I never thought they affected my pleasure too much. Clean up is more on the guy but so what. It's never not been worth it.

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What Girls & Guys Said

4 6
  • Your last few sentences are exactly right honey. Until you're exclusive and have been proven clean it's an unrealistic expectation to ask this of you. If it's only friends with benefits I wouldn't be going without

    • Thanks! Good to know i'm thinking straight!

  • I wouldn't do it. I only did it with my longterm boyfriend. It's not that much of a difference for the female.

    • Good advice. I know that I'm right. It's just nice to discuss these things :)

    • No I completely feel you lol. I also know how convincing and pitiful males can be when they want something, so stay strong!

    • Mmhmm. It's like they think we can't do better..

  • Don't bother with him. You should never, ever have sex without a condom outside of a stable, trusting and committed relationship.

    • Thanks! Thats what I thought :)

  • keep using condoms. Who knows who else he is doing it with.

  • He'll enjoy it more*.
    Too bad, don't do it. Probably gets around, don't risk the rot.

  • Meh. I don't bother with sex with condoms. Not monogamous and on reliable birth control? Masturbating is better than trying to fuck a plastic baggie.

  • You me friends with benefits is a selfish fuckwad who doesn't know that an friends with benefits should be with not stings attached. That's he whole point. Get rid of him and find a better one.

    Let me know if you are taking applications. I'd love to show you how a decent friends with benefits treats his lover.

  • skin with skin the real sex, rubber between skin is useless.

  • Only true form of b. c., is abstinence. Oh, and now that trump is in power, how will you pay for your b. c?

    • I'm British so I donnt have that problem :p