Can a man have an erection and not be aroused? Or do I need to worry?

My husband was playing with our 16 month old. She was jumping around on his lap as she often does to us, but this time was different. I noticed he had an partial erection. I felt it to be sure. He said he didn't even notice or feel it. Is that possible? We are to be married in 4 months and I am very confused. It has only happened once and I have been watching closely ever since. Any advice would be appreciated. I was molested and am not sure if I am over reacting.

Ps. She was jumping while sitting on his lap. Probably directly on his parts I would assume.
Oh ya. And 20 minutes later he was sitting watching tv and had an erection again. This time he said he was aroused.


Most Helpful Guy

  • Yeah this happens to me too. I'll be doing something, and get an erection, but it's not like I'm horny or anything. I could even be tickling a girl, just for fun, and have an erection while not being arroused. It CAN happen! There's different types of "erections" I think.

    Type 1 is the normal one, we're completely horny and want to do it right then and there with whoever just made us horny. We can't even think straight because of how horny we are. This barely ever happens on its own - there's usually a girl involved in this case.

    Type 2 is when it's up, and we're horny sort of, but we don't really feel like doing it. The difference between this, and the above case, is that no girl is involved. Like sometimes I'll be at work, and it'll just get hard for no reason, and I'll feel like... touching it. This happens randomly, and I'm sure it happens to girls too. Don't you sometimes feel like randomly getting laid all of a sudden?

    Type 3 is when it goes up because of physical stimulation. You can be the most unattractive girl in the world, but if you tie a guy up and begin playing with his thing, it's gonna get hard, but it doesn't mean he's arroused.

    And type 4 is when it goes up on its own, completely without reason. This can happen anywhere. It happened today when I got to work and sat down on my chair. I wasn't thinking sexual thoughts, and there were no hot girls around. However, I wasn't aroused. In fact, most of the time, I don't even notice this happening.

    So I wouldn't worry if he was playing with your new baby and he happened to have an erection. It doesn't mean anything. And I seriously doubt she was jumping directly on top of his thing. That's like having a baby jumping directly on top of your boobs... I think. I mean, it's not like I would know. xD

    • This guy is totally right.

      Erections can happen completely out of the blue, and I doubt you have to worry.

    • Erection happenes from parasympathetic innervations to a man's private, and this sort of autonomic iinervation is usually called ''rest and digest''. When a man finishes off a meal or is asleep these parasympathetic innervations will be more active. Consequently, his private will erect.

What Guys Said 13

  • yes men can have erections without being aroused. erections happen at all sorts of strange times and places. those things have a mind of their own. You would not believe the kinds of trouble that can cause at the worst times.

    I don't know your situation, so I can't really comment on what you should do. But it is VERY possible to have an erection for no reason. Heck most guys wake up with one, its called "morning wood."


  • Yeah guys can have an erection without being aroused. It's called my entire middle school and high school years haha. But seriously guys get em randomly throughout the day. At least I know I do.

  • You are definitely overreacting haha.

    Erections aren't just the result of sexual feelings in a man, there are many other reasons why men get erections, sometimes it's when you really have to pee, and sometimes, it's just a rush of blood downstairs with no particular reason at all. Other times it could be because of a change in temperature or your blood pressure at that point.

    You shouldn't be worried,congratulations on your engagement and I wish you guys the best of luck!.

  • yea you don't need to worry. they happen randomly like that. pressure or movement around that area can cause one. believe me they are embarrassing but its life we just have to act like its nothing. its nothing to worry about its just life

  • erections can happen at any time even when your not around, I've had one like on the bus, when I wake up in the morning, when watching tv, it doesn't just happen when we are just aroused, so don't worry

  • Men can be physical stimulated, and get one when they are not aroused. But that doesn't mean he wasn't aroused... Children are most likely to be abused by someone you know.. Just keep an eye on him, and everyone you know (6% - 17% of sexual abuse is committed by females against females children, depending on the study you read, so keep an eye on them too)

  • This is defintitely not something to worry about. An erection can be caused by a full bladder as well as other factors. Even if he was aroused, I would be pretty sure that it was thinking about either you or another subject that is not your child.

  • Yes it could be a non sexually stimulated erection as they are pointing out... But it could also not be.

    If an adult man has an erection when a little girl jumps on his knees, something needs to be done. I would ask a specialist what to do in this situation because you cannot take this risk for your daughter.

    You cannot stop worrying because strangers on a forum told you it was ok, he might have been sexually stimulated and you need to to get to the bottom of this.

  • nope. need not worry, guys can have erections/partial erections for no reason at all. I wanted to be sure so I asked a doctor and a bunch of my male friends. guys can get these boners without any sexual feelings, so they won't feel them(but you'll KNOW if you have a full on boner). kind of like when its real cold and your nipples get stiff. no sexual feelings, but your nipples are still hard. in talking with my friends,sometimes if one of us goes to stand up then we'll feel our pants puching back on an erection we didn't feel building, and didn't know we had.

    i guess that's the bestest way to explain it, so rest at ease.

  • Yes I've had to carry too many bags of groceries to the car and gotten one from them rubbing against it.

    I was not aroused and to be hones cartoned eggs, milk, and numerous canned goods still don't turn me comment on the chocolate chip soft batch.

    Anyway, my point is erection doesn't always mean lust.

  • If something is jumping up and down on your crotch leg area, it's pretty hard NOT to get a boner... lol

    It's normal, I doubt he's a molester lol

  • I've never been in this situation, but it's possible his erection was just a result of direct physical stimulation and he experienced no arousal.


What Girls Said 5

  • You shouldn.t worry too much about it. Guys get erections all the time. Don't worry yourself sick over it, though I understand your fear is very real. I think you should just calm yourself for a while and watch your husband with your baby. Watch him interact with her. If he shows love for her that is unusual then, you can worry. Most likely, he just had one of those dayly, sometimes hourly, problems that guys have. Pay attention to his behavior with her, not so much his erections. They are something to watch, but they aren't sufficient evidence to assume bad things.

  • It's just from the friction, it's pretty common, I wouldn't worry too much. :1

  • guys do pop boners randomly, somethin about blood flowin down there idk, but you prob should be cautious just to be safe

    • Agree, we pop boners without it being sexual...when I was younger I got hit in the balls with a soccer ball many times and it resulted in a boner. My mom has a day care and when the kids jump into my lap it happened, but its nothing sexual so you just take the kid off you. That's why squats are recommended to improve your sex drive, any direct stimulation down there leads to arousal.....I love the pu$$y

  • I sounds like he was doing something he was not suppost to so. I wolud keep here from him and go to the cops and tell them it sounds like your baby is in danger. If you don't stop him what else is he willing to do your child. Then kick him out your house and devorce him

    • Clemsongirl: you should probably research guys and erections on the internet. You shouldn't freak her out for nothing. I understand that it is a possibility and you are only trying to help, but telling her to call the cops because of something that is natural is wrong.

    • I see here you are coming from...You are a fat bitc$ and no guy would ever get hard for you so it makes sense to call the cops. Guys get hard without wanting to get laid or do anything sexual.

      Men should have the right to call the cops on big girls who think that guys wanna see them wear those tight ass dresses that you are wearing, really nobody wants to see your fat.

      you're an idiot

  • If he doesn't do anything else suspicious I wouldn't worry.

    And be grateful he was OK with it. My best friend in the world told me the other day that one of the earliest memories of her dad (I guess she was 5) was bouncing on his lap and he must have felt uncomfortable so he picked her up and put her on the floor and never touched her again. No hugs or kisses or anything and she is 22 now! How sad is that?

    So I guess a guy not worrying about it isn't just a sign of a molester but maybe it's a sign he doesn't feel anything sexual at all so he is ok with it.