I can't turn my girlfriend on anymore?
Me and my girlfriend have been dating for a year and a half now, and over the past month or so her sex drive has dramatically dropped.
I don't understand why, she always used to be very cuddly and kissing, but now she barely even bothers to kiss me.
She just left the house about 15 min ago, we started watching a dvd together, and I started trying to "cuddle with her" (Not even sexually.) she doesn't seem to respond like she used to she just kinda tuned me out entirely, which has never even happened before!
When ever I try to initiate sex with her it all goes south, unless she "in the mood" she won't even give me a response.
This has never happened before, and there was no dramatic change in our lives over the past 2 months, I just don't understand where all the passion left, and how this could of happened.
Things like kissing her on the neck , (Which used to drive her wild) do nothing for her now. The only time we ever have sex (Like I said previously) is when she's in the mood.
I don't understand what could of happened, I've tried almost everything it's like she isn't interested in me over night or something!?
What's Your Opinion?
Most Helpful Opinion
This sounds like what happened to me & my EX-wife. It started where you are at now, eventually sex stopped completely, she'd give me oral once in awhile to shut me up. Eventually oral stopped too. Then things like kissing, touching, even being together.
Eventually I had enough. Hired a private detective and he provided me with evidence that she was having an affair. She claimed she was going to work a part time bartending job about 40 miles from where we lived, in fact she was going to be with him. I filed for divorce the next day. There is much more to that store, but that's enough for now.
There is either someone else for her, she's not in love with you anymore or there is a really deep emotional thing going on with her that you don't know about. Whichever way it is, you need to lay down the law right away and let her know, if she can't change her ways and give you want you need. IT'S OVER!
What Girls Said 2
What Guys Said 2
Doesn't sound like a sex issue, but a deeper relationship problem.
It could be there are some relational needs she isn't having met. See books like "The Five Love Languages" or "His Needs, Her Needs". It is easy for guys and girls to not intrinsically know what they need.
At age 20, she could also be trying to figure out what to do with her life when she grows up. That can be a difficult time for people, especially in a long term relationship. It could just be the stress of life that has sapped her passion.
I'd just sit down with her, let her know you have detected some distance, let her know you wan to work with her, and talk it out. It won't likely get better immediately, but might be the first step to developing a deeper longer lasting relationship.
Are you coming on too strong? Perhaps she's grown tired/bored of you? Maybe you two just drifted apart?
You need to have a conversation with her about your relationship. Figure out what's going on and why, otherwise you'll just have several more months of unhappiness before the relationship eventually ends.