Why does my boyfriend stop us while we're having sex?

[Anonymous]

Hi, just wondering if you guys would have any idea of why my boyfriend might stop us in the middle of intercourse. It happens while we're in the middle of sex. He starts looking bored and uninterested(looking around). Then I'll ask him if everything's okay, and he'll say "i think we should stop, I'm not going to anytime soon". Then we stop. I always feel really sad right after too. What does this mean? Thank you.

[ArizonaRX]

"I think we should stop, I'm not going to anytime soon."

For me that's pretty suggestive.

1.) He's not stimulated enough to reach orgasm. But deeper than that you have to wonder why? Is he no longer sexually attracted to you? Has sex with you become boring and cookie cutter? Are there outside pressures that are disrupting his ability to focus on the sex and you?

2.) His focus, obviously is on himself. "I think we should stop, I'm not going to anytime soon." So sex with you is what? Only for him? The whole goal of sexual intercourse with you is for him to orgasm? Since he's not going to it doesn't make any sense for him to continue to potentially satisfy you? And additionally, he doesn't realize that this bothers you? He doesn't realize you are sad? That's really not healthy. There is something deeper here than performance issues.

You need to have a heart to heart ASAP. Explain to him that what he says and then stops really bothers you. You need answers. Ask him some of the things I mentioned. Stir the pot a little. Sex like this with your boyfriend / girlfriend is not healthy. Chances are this relationship is close to over, if you want to save it, you need to speak to him. Better to find out sooner than later.

[Asker]

When I try to talk to him about our relationship issues, he says that I'm annoying him. It's impossible to talk to him. X_X Thanks for helping though. : )

[ArizonaRX]

You should start to realize that the relationship is coming to an end. If he wont' communicate with you, then there is no way to fix the issue. Hopefully you realize this soon and save yourself some heart ache.

[toulouse]

"When I try to talk to him about our relationship issues, he says that I'm annoying him. It's impossible to talk to him. X_X Thanks for helping though. : ) " >>>>>Are you serious?? Then there is no relationship. You shouldn't evenbe with ihm. 'relationship issues' just means stuff that isbn't working - that includes BOTH of you. Him saying he doesn't care to discuss it, he is saying he doesn't care - drop him he is immature & does not think twice about being an asshole.

[WhereIsWaldo]

The only reason I can think of is that he is really stressed about something. Its not going to change until something drastic happens. It could be you it could not be, if he hasn't told you yet he is probably really uncomfortable with it. Write him a really nice note maybe with some cookies and tell him you noticed he has been sad, also write you'd like to hear what's going on.

[Argos]

He is nervous and embarrassed mostly about performance. No use in trying to confront it unless it is with the utmost care... If you don't handle it right it will make it 100x worse.

[Asker]

Could you please tell me why it would it make it worse? and he usually stops us when I'm on top. X_X

[Argos]

It isn't you, maybe it is, but from what you have told me it really isn't. If he is nervous and embarrassed confronting him won't make him more comfortable you know? Instead of asking what is wrong, implying there is a problem, say something comforting like I love you.

[blah52]

Sounds like he's bored and not enjoying it.

[Asker]

:( booie

[Jhood2880]

It could mean a ton of things. Sometimes its things that are going on in life ie: Money, work, family just stress in general will make people not perform. Has this always happened? or this this more recent?

[Asker]

Well, we've been together for a about 2 1/2 years (not too long), and this has probably started happening about a year ago, it doesn't happen often though. I just was curious about why he does this. And I don't think he's very stressed, at least from what he tells me. -Thanks.

[Jhood2880]

Well if it helps you any I am 30. And my girlfriend and I have sex at LEAST 2 times a day. Life in general have been stressful for me for the last year and once in a while I lose focus and have to stop. There have been other times where I just get irritated with being to hot and just can't focus. But on the other hand you have the option to ask him if the sex life is missing anything in his eyes. But if it happens on occasion I wouldn't be too worried about it.

[Asker]

Thanks! I'm just scared because I don't want him to get bored with me or to lose interest. lol. I wonder how you and your girlfriend manage to do it so often. I'm only 21 and our sex life is going downhill.

[Jhood2880]

Well trust me it wasn't like this with other girls. Not all people are compatible in the bed. They may be out of it. We ave days where we have sex 5 or 6 times. Make it fun for the both of you. Try new things ask him what he likes. Tell him what you like. Maybe it will gain his interest and want to keep trying things. Or just switch it up. He could also have a erectile disfunction. He could be horrified to tell you. I know if I had that problem I wouldn't want to tell anyone. Not even a doctor!