Sexual Health
+1 y

Is waiting till marriage even worth it?

So, you know the whole hype of being a virgin and 'the first time'? I used to buy into that. Now, I haven't completely abandoned it, but I don't know if I entirely buy it anymore. I would never be comfortable doing it with a random guy, but I just think its not considered a big deal, and I feel really old fashioned.. What do you guys think: worth it or no?
Updates:
+1 y
GUYS: if you know that there is no way a girl would go all the way with you, would you even take the relationship seriously?
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Most Helpful Guys

  • Temporary physical pleasure is the most important thing in life. Doing what other people think is cool (even though they may call you a slut behind your back and you may catch pregnancy/stds) is more important than giving you and your husband the best chances in your life together.

    No I don't direct that sarcasm to you but to other people responding. You seriously have a good view on marriage in that it should be special and you apparently have self respect since you haven't been out and tried out the local football teams just because other girls do that. OK so what if you're old fashioned? Ask yourself about the benefits of saving yourself till marriage (and that your partners do so as well) compared to the effects of doing what is "fun" and to be accepted by your female peers.

    I know a lot of girls are gonna hate on this so I might as well come clean (get it get it get it?) I'm a 24 year old male, still virgin. Yeah in my teenage years and around 20 I wanted to do the old in-out with a girl I was in a relationship with. Then I kinda realized what it's all about. My motives are very religous but I felt that sex before marriage was wrong before I became interested in the big book. I've always been very very fond of girls and kinda addicted to sex, so this has all been tough yet I feel now that it was good that I didn't waste something good on a temporary girl.

    So. I would definitely be interested in a girl or woman that has saved herself till marriage. In this world today that may not be practically possible if you're also going to find a girl you get along with. But I'd like a girl with morals, whether that be if she's a virgin or has had sex previouisly. If she has such great self respect and knows restraint and to wait for good things, then she's a woman to behold in my eyes. Sure, some girls dress really foxy and that might get my visual attention for awhile. But a girl that is attractive and a virgin is the one I wanna use my shirt to make a bridge over puddles in a gentleman-way fashion.

  • I used to think the first time was soo cool and special till I realized

    if a virgin guy and girl do it the first time on their wedding night...thats not gonna be cute happy or pretty...the girlk will hurt there will be a mess the guy will feel like a douche and there will be little to no pleasure

    • Sex is natural anyways so I guess it could actually work if both parties take their time, the dude is gentle, the lady knows what she wants, the positions are spot on, there has been some kind of dress rehearsal with maybe Sade is playing in the background.

    • Sure..it could work..not saying it can't just saying it no longer holds that special appeal to me..like you said sex is natural so why would people wait till marriage

    • But would you stay with a girl if she didn't want to have sex till marriage. Everything BUT sex.

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Most Helpful Girls

  • Honestly I tried to wait till marriage but I was raped and that threw a wrench in my plans and after that I decided I should have sex with my boyfriend because I felt bad because we were waiting till we got married and then I was no longer a virgin. But honestly I think it is fully worth it to wait till marriage. Having previous partners can hurt a relationship. It is so much better to create all those new memories and new experiences with someone who you will have forever. It builds more trust and a stronger connection. There is no one to remember or be compared to.

    It hurts me to know that my husband has been with practically 30 girls before me, it stops me from being fully open sexually. I wonder if he's comparing me to others. It also sucks because I cannot speak to my friend because my husband knows I slept with him and it bother him. So out of respect for my husband I stopped talking to my friend ( childhood friend since we were 6).

    But when it comes down to it, its up to you if you feel comfortable waiting or not. I've had issues with it as I stated above. If you think you wouldn't have that same problem then..hey! But just keep in mind it can really be a lingering little nuisance in the back of your mind to think well is he comparing me to someone else, is that girl I justmet someone he slept with, will I ever be able to talk to that person I slept with again, etc.

  • That's such a subjective thing! I would argue that no, waiting until you're married is silly, why would you not want to experience the joys of being intimate with someone you love?

    But then some people really value that they've only shared their most intimate part of themselves with one person, whom they have committed themselves to for life (hopefully).

    It really comes down to how YOU feel about it. I would say that having sex with a random is always a bad idea if it's not something that you're comfortable doing. But if you're in a long term, committed relationship with someone you love, it can be mind blowing.

    Don't do it if you're only wanting to feel less "old fashioned". Don't worry about what other people are doing, make your choices based on how you feel. If you want to wait, then by all means wait. If you want to explore your sexuality, do it, but do it in a way that is in line with your values.

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What Girls & Guys Said

0 7

  • Its unhealthy for a relationship to hold out on something you both want if its "too long".

    In my opinion the perspective of "waiting till marriage" just makes people rush into marriage and soon after a divorce.

    I would say it is not worth it.

  • My answer is...When you feel comfortable with the situation and you think its the right thing to do, follow your intuition. Sometimes when guys know you are a virgin, they will try their best to be the one to deflower you...Hate those assholes! Nowadays, with kids having sex at a very early age, I would say don't join in cause everybody else is doin it. Besides, there are other ways to have sex beside intercourse...Again, follow what your heart believes in!

    • Thats the problem. Its the reason I don't want to have sex before marriage.. it is not so much religious anymore, it has more to do with the fact that, I wouldn't be able to stand the guy leaving me afterwards. I might just go crazy :(

  • I used to be really religous and I too have reversed my position so I've seen it from both sides. It's a personal choice and nobody can tell you what to do. Weigh up the pros and cons and decide for yourself how important it is to you,

    If I was in love with the girl I think I would stay in it but that hasn't happened to me so who knows.

  • Nope, there's no point to keeping it unless your one of those religious types. I don't see how people say it makes them pure, as if there's something wrong with sex. And no, I wouldn't want to be with a girl who was saving it.

    • It's actually quite the opposite. It's not as though there's something wrong with sex--it's as though sex is one of the most special things in the world that shouldn't be treated as some simple recreational activity, because it's better than that :)

  • I used to think the same...and now I'm having second thoughts.

    still a virgin lol

  • In every romantic relationship there are 3 things that need to be present, trust, passion, and intimacy. A man who cheats on his significant other is not trustworthy, if he can't be trusted, it will be hard for the wife to find passion, if the wife can't find passion, there will be no chance for intimacy. If a husband treats the whole relationship like a joke, too casual for the amount of love that should be present, the wife might lose trust and think he is seeing other people, she will be unwilling to be intimate with a man she feels doesn't care.

    If a man and a woman wait until marriage for sex, they will have spend their entire relationship without serious intimacy, meaning that, if In the end when they do have sex there is no pleasure, intimacy will die out, and one or both of them may start to wonder if the other is looking for that intimacy somewhere else, destroying trust, and if a man can't pleasure a woman, or vice versa, all passion will die out, but you're in the marriage, so you have no choice, you have doomed yourself to a possible life of untrust and celibacy.

    Do you really want to do this to yourself, if all of these thing could be present before marriage and you live a healthy happy life together?

  • i think its worth it , there are some guys out there that want to wait for marriage as well but feel like they will never find a girl that will still be a virgin and is waiting for marriage as well,

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