My girlfriend wears low cut shirts and I hate it, but can I truly say, "Stop wearing those clothes!"?

[Mista_Fluff]

She has very nice round C Cup breasts.. and she shows a little cleavage. And her bra sticks out a little bit. This drives me CRAZY! Being a 15 year old guy I know what every other guy does when they look at her.. they look at her boobs. I want to tell her that I don't like it, but telling her that would be an indirect way of me asking her to change it. I don't know if she does it so guys look, so that she feels more comfortable, just because she likes it, why? What do I do?

[saphirasilverwings]

You could try simply letting her know that as a guy, you know that guys will look at her chest a lot when she wears low shirts like that. Low cut tops are in style right now and often people mindlessly follow fashions without thinking about it much. They figure there's no problem with it since every other person they see is dressed that way. It's possible that if she knows that guys will look at her more when she wears low cut tops she'll feel uncomfortable about it and stop wearing them, or start wearing a tank underneath, or something.

But it's possible that that will only encourage her. Girls do dress for guys to an extent, and often that is even their main consideration when choosing clothes. She might see it as a success if guys are looking at her- or at least, she may not think it's enough of a problem to change.

It's natural to feel a certain amount of concern over this. But by expressing a wish for her to change something that is part of her identity for the sake of your peace of mind, you risk coming off as controlling and overly jealous. You have every right to let her know about your concerns, and it may even be very helpful to her. But ultimately you need to overcome this. What she wears is her choice and her choice alone. If you find yourself upset by her wardrobe choices your relationship probably won't be as happy as it could be.

[saphirasilverwings]

In short, no you cannot say "Stop wearing those clothes!". If her own feelings on the subject don't make her want to change, she doesn't have to change. If you can't be happy with someone who you feel is too liberal in their dress, you should probably move on. Also, just because girls dress with guys in mind doesn't mean they are going to cheat on your or behave inappropriately. It's a natural instinct to try to look attractive and after all, you're a guy too!

[Brentley]

She may not realize that it's as low as it is. It isn't an indirect way of you trying to change her, you just don't like everybody seeing your girlfriend's boobs. When I wore shirts that were lower cut than I thought, my boyfriend would just sorta tug up at his neckline and sorta point at my shirt to let me know to pull it up and if I didn't, he'd come close to me and ask me to pull it up. I didn't have a problem with it. I mean, he likes me enough that he doesn't want everyone seeing what he has, so that's more of a compliment and showing a sign of caring than asking her to change.

[yengesi]

And I'm sure this didn't have anything to do with you being attracted to her in the first place.

At most, you can ask her if she's aware of it. That should be enough to start a discussion if she's open to discussing it, but it's ultimately her choice, not yours. No matter how possessive your hormones make you feel, it's her body and you don't get to dictate what she does with it. What do you do? You treat her like an adult and accept her for who she is, or move on and find someone who doesn't have to be someone they're not in order to satisfy you.

[l-hedoniste]

"I want to tell her that I don't like it, but telling her that would be an indirect way of me asking her to change it."

This is only true if you expect people to change when you dislike something. If that's your expectation, it needs to go.

Express your discomfort, request that she change. She could *consider* your request, then change, refuse outright, or (most likely) compromise.

[pandapoo1102]

just to say mate, if she wants to wear that then she probably still will and at least its not short skirts is it? stop complaining, let the guys look and see that your one lucky fella maybe?

[blah52]

Just talk to her about it.

[DanielSan]

You can deffinitly tell her about this.

Dude I did to my girlfriend...when she is single she wears this to attract if she is with you then those are for you. Do it politely and respectfully but make her aware that this is how you feel and that if she respects you she will be more conservative

[Josh1988]

My wife likes wearing low cut shirts, and it shows a lot of cleavage. I'm not trying to be controlling or anything like that but it really bothers me. If I say something she tells me I'm being controlling and all that. I can't help that that's how I feel. I don't know what to do.