Do guys feel guilty after using a girl for sex? I was a virgin and he broke up with me a few days after.

[Anonymous]

He said he needed a break. I still wonder weather he actually wanted a break or just to break up. He was gonna be gone for 2 months, and talked about how he liked me and if he were to see anyone it would only be a hookup. Obviously this did not make me feel better, and made me realize he was a jerk. He said he wanted to try it again when he was back. I asked if he could not hookup while he was gone, because I sure wasn't because I only liked him. He said he couldn't and needed a taste of freedom. I told him we were breaking up, ad he can't have his cake and eat it too. I feel so used, and like he could not wait 2 month of no action if it meant sticking with me. Now I hear from his best friend that he didn't even like me that much and he went back and forth all the time, if he was really into me or not. Why would he sleep with me and use me if he didn't really like me, and convince me he was so into me. Would a guy really fake it for 6 months to get in my pants. I feel STUPID, USED, and UNTRUSTING of men. I don't want back with him, but I just keep having trouble with new guys I date, I can't trust them. He screwed me up, and I just can't get past it... Also I have met this guy I believe to be awesome, great conversation, has and never plans to have random hookups and only does relationships, but I have screwed everything up with him. I keep going out to the bar dancing, flirting and making out with other guys, obviously trying to gain acceptance I guess, since have never been so rejected. This new guy I like has seen me a few times and has fed up, and I am pretty sure has given up on me. Ugh...It's so frustrating,one stupid guy, had to mess with my confidence, and ruin my trust and future relationships. So sad...

[thetheme]

Lets think about the term "using someone" for a moment... EVERYONE has a selfish reason to be with someone or to do things. What did you want to be with this guy for? Let me tell you this. Women and men do these type of things for different reasons and different results. Now moving on... If you had a job interview and you were told that you couldn't get hired because someone that had the same name as you, or looked like you did terrible things there how would you feel? You would be thinking "that had nothing to do with me". Holding others responsible just isn't the way to move on, or to be happy. Trust me, there are many men that get screwed over just as much as women. The only difference is that men get no sympathy. I understand that you feel very hurt, but if there were no good men or women out there, then there would be no happy relationships or marriages out there. Don't blame ALL men because of this. The pain isn't going to go away anytime soon. What you have to do now is to have some fun and be positive. Work on yourself, go out with friends and family, do some shopping, meet some new people. You are still young, alive, and capable of finding a good man out there. If you don't get over your past, he wins... You are better than that, and you know it sweetie. Believe in yourself. It takes time, but get out of the fairytail thinking. Embrace reality. We all cry our rivers, but we have to build our bridges and get over them too.

[HARDASACACTUS]

If you let this dirt bag ruin your trust in future relationships then he will have a control over you for the rest of you life. You will always be thinking about him and guys like this are just not worth it, You already proved that by doing this to a guy you liked and now you regret it. Not all guys are like this but there seems to be no shortage of them either. This whole scenario is why you take the time to get to know someone and I mean get to know them. Yes some guys will hang out for a long time to get into a woman's pants but chances are they are out cheating on you anyway which is why they can wait so long. A guy that really cares about a woman will be willing to wait for however long it takes until she is ready because a guy who really cares is in it for more than the sex. I am sure there were signs that this guy was a dirt bag maybe you need to look harder at the signs next time. Dirt bags like this guy will definitely show signs that he is not going to be there in the long term. Yes keep your guard up but do not ruin future relationships over one idiot, if you let this happens he wins. Chalk it up to a bad experience and know that it can happen but that it does not mean it has to happen. Best of luck with finding a good guy next time.

[GatorGrad]

I hate this for you. My sister in law is a freshman in college and recently went through something similar.

A lot of guys (especially teens/early 20s) are more intrigued by the chase than by anything else ... so when they get what they were chasing they lose interest. It isn't your fault and don't let this sour you to relationships in general. You run the risk of missing a good guy because you are too jaded to see him.

Maybe someone else can give you some good advice on how to weed out the guys who aren't serious (if you are).

Good luck and stay positive.