Am I a slut? How do I get rid of this?

Question

I am a happily married woman, and frankly I think I have been a pretty good girl my whole life. Though my husband wasn't my first, I had only slept with my boyfriend of 3 years and a good friend of 8yrs prior to meeting my husband.So here's the thing, I have a very intense...bad fantasy. I'm super ashamed of it but can't help but to think of it and I my husband would kill me if he ever knew. I for some reason have always thought that it would be amazing to behaving sex with a guy while giving another guy head.Super disgusting I know, it's totally not in my nature. I mean I have a hard time even trying to talk dirty to my husband. The thought of threesomes disgust me too like I would never want to have sex with two guys at a time, no double penetration or have two guys actually penetrate me... the thought isn't appealing in any way its actually a turn off. My fantasy is just about giving a guy head while I have sex.  It's like an oral fetish or fixation.How the heck do I get rid of this? Am I slut for thinking this?  What do I do? And please I am very seriously concerned. Any bit of advice would help.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

A couple of things here that are confusing. You say you would never want to have sex with two guys at the same time yet you fantasize about giving head to some guy while your husband has intercourse with you. First off giving head is having sex with another guy. Second you are not some freak there are a lot of people out there that have open relationships, swap partners ect so it is not like you are the only one thinking this. However obviously you know your husband would not like this idea which is why you cannot tell him. It is best to just think about the consequences of this fantasy happening most likely it would end up in a divorce. Three ways never work out sooner or later it will end your marriage. I do not think it is a problem to have a fantasy like this though most people would not admit it a lot of them have similar fantasies but most leave it as a fantasy and do not act on it. On the other hand your husband may be having similar fantasies and you may never know. Like I said think about the consequences and let it go.

l-hedoniste · Accepted Answer

First, no such thing as a bad fantasy. You have to hurt real people to be a bad person; imaginary people don't count.

Now:

"How the heck do I get rid of this?"

Even if it were possible to get rid of something that made your cl*t go "pop", it's very likely the process would damage you. Most attempts I've seen to train the sexuality out of people are both cruel and ineffective.

"Am I slut for thinking this?"

You're a girl with a fantasy. In other words, normal.

"What do I do?"

Given that you're a. happily married, and b. hot enough about this to go seeking help, I would talk it out seriously with your husband. I'm assuming (that is, wildly hoping) that you're used to discussing sex with your husband.

Even if he's not wild about the idea, he may value your happiness enough to give it a whirl.

luciaa · Accepted Answer

Hello- so many of us "good girls" have a dark, dark, dark side. You are not alone my dear. How do you stop these "disgusting" and yet incredibly appealing fantasy? Lol- let me know when you figure it out. There is therapy,( specifically religious) suppression, denial, absence, self hatred etc. Or, the easy way give in to it, and make sure it is with the right guy who knows how to keep his mouth shut. If your spouse is cool with this, awesome- you are on your way to excitement and adventure. However, for most it is not so easy, partners are jealous and cracks open in relationships. So you have to decide what would work for you. If you are anything like me, you are torn between these thoughts, needs and also the guilt of becoming someone you can't respect. So for now, stop beating yourself up for a great imagination, and buy yourself a toy:) or find yourself a bad boy and give yourself a thrill. as you can see- some of us are just as confused as you are! I

shes-a-lady · Accepted Answer

suck his finger while ur having sex? sorry I have no clue lol

but usually guys don't mind sexual experiments...i would at least ask him if he was up for it. let him pick the other guy.

if he's not willing to do it, he'll have to worry about not giving you what you need. and I'm pretty sure knowing for sure that ur wife is unsatisfied is a nightmare for every guy (they'll probably start worrying about you cheating on them). so -hopefully- eventually he'll feel bad and do it anyway ;)

iceequeen · Accepted Answer

give yourself a break... everyone has fantasies.. some more naughty than others... what's important is whether you actually act on it with someone other than your hubby...

dont suppress your fantasy just ... indulge in it when you have some alone time :)... pefectly normal to have fantasies!

sa230e · Answer

It's not dirty or disgusting: it's just a fantasy and it's okay to have fantasies. Doesn't make you a bad person or a "slut" as you say. It means you're a normally functioning sexual human being. You're thoughts are yours and it's not a crime to think them. Acknowledge them and accept them for what they are. Nothing good comes out of suppressing them.

You are perfectly fine and there are lots of people just like you. It's okay to have sexy thoughts.

cjwright79 · Answer

uuuuuhhhhhhhhhhhhwhat are you asking for here exactly? Advice or a hook-up?

mav0502 · Answer

a fantasy is just that a fantasy. we all have them and there is nothing wrong with them at all...also even if you did go ahead with it...that does not mean you are a slut and there is nothing at all wrong with thinking about it. maybe go buy a porn dvd of 3 somes like this and see if it turns you on or if it makes it worse or better actually seeing it. and then imagine you being the girl in the middle and see if it helps. it might improve ur sex life with ur husband. but again a fantasy is just a fantasy and nothing wrong with thinking about it.

lonlehube · Answer

You are not a slut for thinking this.  I cannot speak for all but I think it is very normal to have thoughts like you are having.  Fantasy is great and you should embrace it.   What you are describing has been a fantasy of my wife for a long time.

siewchin · Answer

it's totally normal to think/fantasize that. I'm a married woman too, yet I can't help but to have this thought and doing it too. I know I'm gonna get downvoted, but heck, this is a place where we can share our experience and ideas, right?

wally · Answer

Do you have toys? If you do you can make this fantasy reality, use a toy to penetrate you're self while you'r  husband  give you oral. hope that works for you.

devdreams004 · Answer

I think you have a right to explore your sexuality. Don't think about it as gross or disgusting, really its just sex. Have fun with it, we all live only once. And really, you are not the only one with those fantasize. I think a lot of women fantasize about this type of sex, some explore it further and for some it stays as a fantasy. There is so much I can say on this subject really, its not new at all