Sexual Health
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Why do guys like making girls gag?

Almost every guy I've been with has at some point grabbed my head and forced me down while I was giving a blow job. Now I wouldn't mind if they just pushed down a little, but I mean when they force it to the point where I gag and make awful noises. Why do they do that? It doesn't feel good for the girl, and it usually makes her pull away. A couple times I've felt like I was going to throw up and I've just stopped. I would think they would do whatever they could to keep you there. Is it just a power thing? Or is it like they want to feel like they're so big that it's too much too handle? Or is it something else I'm overlooking?
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Most Helpful Girls

  • I can only speak for myself, but if the guy I'm with likes it when I gag, it's a huge turn on for me. I was giving a bj the other night and I gagged, and they guy told me he loved it, that it was so hot. So when he pushed my head back down, I was more than happy to oblige. He was clearly into it, and even though he was rough, he always let me up as soon as I indicated that I needed a break. Even though I was handing the power of the actual act over to him, it was a very empowering feeling. I love the fact that he took/lost control because I knew I was doing that to him. It never felt disrespectful in the slightest. You have to look at something like this from all angles because every relationship is different, and everyone has their own kinks. To make snap, blanket judgements isn't fair to either side. Some people aren't into it and that is totally fine, but just because a guy "forces" a girl's head down doesn't automatically make him an abusive, disrespectful jerk that watches too much porn. If he keeps doing it when the girl clearly isn't enjoying it, then it crosses a line, but sometimes, they loose a little control and do what feels good; It’s a reflex. Maybe I have been lucky with the guys I've been with, but none of them have ever pushed me too far. Or maybe I'm just a submissive masocist that gets off on the power play. Regardless, if both parties are into it, then there is nothing wrong with it.

  • I have something to say about this. The guy I'm seeing right now told me in a conversation that he likes it when girls gag. He never actually gave me a reason, but one day when I was going down on him he lightly pushed my head down to the point of gagging -- but only for a second. He's only done it once and he's good about keeping his hands out of the way. I didn't mind him doing it that one time.I guess it's just a thing guys like. I definitely wouldn't approve of it if he were to turn it into a habit.

  • Ha ha I know exactly where you're coming from, and I think you're right. I think they like feeling like they're SO big that we just can't take it. I've very nearly thrown up on a couple of guys for doing that, though. They don't seem to care that it hurts, and it completely ruins the mood for us.

    • I'm glad you said that. I was starting to feel like it was just me that this happened to and that there was something about me that made guys want to do this. So you really think it's the size thing? Because my current boyfriend did it and he knows he's big. I wouldn't think he'd need the reassurance.

    • Well it makes sense to me. Guys are so wrapped up in the whole size thing, when any girl you ask will tell you she's been with guys of every size. Just the whole idea of being more than we can handle though...maybe that's what does it.

    • Hmm. I guess you're probably right. I mean I've never been with a guy who didn't want to hear how big he was. I wish there was a way to get them to knock it off. Whatever, thanks for answering.

Most Helpful Guys

  • I have to answer this because its something I understand. this guy "ilovelegs" has responded to a couple of other questions about rough sex and is making it sound ridiculous and perverted and its not. now, truthfully a guy shouldn't be forcing a girl to gag without talking to her about it force, because that's mean. but its something me and my girlfriend do and she really gets off on taking it. its not for everyone, no doubt! but I'll try to explain it a little.when I girl gags it lubricates her throat, and she can take it deeper repeatedly afterwards.and as a guy it feels incredible to have your way with such a pleasure. I would tell any girl though, don't let a guy do this you don't trust, and not without discussing it first, please. some guys can be mean, and it can be rough. but if you're with someone you trust and love, deep throating is a tremendous thrill for a lot of people, both guys and girls.

    • Thank you for that realistic point of view. .

  • That's very disrespectable and abusive and probably caused from his watching too much porn and having no real feelings for you. He's out of control and who knows what he'll do or expect you to do next. The way to handle that is to get up and leave and never be with him again. The sooner the better before his crap rubs off on you and you can't have a decent sexual relationship with a guy anymore without going into some serious counseling. You're overlooking that he's a complete jerk, prev, and worst words than that!

    • See it's not like this has just been one guy. There have been a few. And they've otherwise been pretty nice. That's why the whole thing weirds me out. If it was just one jerk I wouldn't have such a problem with it. I would've just shown him the door.

    • Seems kinda harsh, dear.

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What Girls & Guys Said

5 7

  • They're watching way too much porn. Gagging on anything is no fun. It's a little controlling and disrespectful in my view. I would go with your power assessment on this one.

    • Okay, I haven't seen too much porn. And I don't think I've ever seen a girl choking in it. Is this the kind of thing you'd only see in rougher porn?

    • Hah, maybe so. I don't watch a lot of porn but have seen this gagging thing there. If it is in the rougher porn as you suggest, then it's even more likely to be a power and control move.

  • Some girls are masochists and they love that type of stuff. My ex hated it and my new one loves it. Every girl is different.

  • I honestly think it's a power thing. The feeling of being in control & dominating someone. I personally love when men do this to me, but I'm also a masochist who loves being dominated.

  • watching too much porn

  • I can only speak for myself. I like the feeling it has on the underside of my penis. It feels tighter, around me...I have asked my girl to deep throat my penis, because it feels good. There has been a couple times when I get close to finishing that I can't help myself...

  • Gagging is a kinky thing many people today find enjoyable. This doesn't mean that there shouldn't be consent on both sides of the coin. In most cases, there's nothing to worry about, if you have a stable and loving relationship.

  • I like gagging on my boyfriend it makes me feel like I can't get enough of him in me and I like it when he grabs my hair and forces me down more... I think it's different for every woman... And by the way I don't watch porn after reading all these comments it seems to be an excuse for guys to do it but some girls really like it when they tear up and try harder to get more in.

  • I don't know why they do it but I told my bf in the future if he ever does that then im stopping the bj

  • I'm having the same issue although it's my first time with a guy that likes me to gag. He seems to have a lot of experience with this but it makes me uncomfortable. I dislike the fact that what I used to do before with guys doesn't seem to be enough for him. I hate that he takes ages to come too. It makes me feel like he's not really turned on by me. Maybe it's become he's 42? I don't know but I feel like staying with this guy will be a lot if work for me in bed!

    • argh stop being such a cry baby, you make it sound that is all about you gosh. Just because a guy doesn't come fast doesn't mean he is not attracted to you, trust me if he has a boner and wants to have sex with you with the lights on he is definitely turned on by you! If guys complained about girls taking forever to have a orgasm you would understand. Oh wait lol

    • I just read an article about men who are taking forever to orgasm. The reason is because they're so used to getting off to porn and now regular sex isn't stimulating enough to them. They're also dry from all that jerking off. The fact that your guy wants you to gag on him is another huge reason to believe he's addicted to porn. He'll probably never be able to have a normal sex life, and he obviously doesn't mind degrading or hurting you. There are plenty of men who would be thrilled with a normal blow job. You don't need this bullshit. And don't let him talk you into it. I've gotten into some sick shit in the past. That, along with sexual abuse, has caused me to not be able to get off without watching degrading porn (or at least fantasizing about it). Sexual abuse and porn can ruin your ability to have a normal sex life. Just try to stay with normal men. Don't make the mistakes I've made. Best of luck to you.

  • seems like you date disrespectful guys.i would never do that to a woman.

  • He probably seen p*rn done by couples acting to releave stress or been with girls who asked him to do this to her. It's mostly for bulimic girls who can only orgasm like this but it's meant to be more sensual than what you see a lot of people mimicking.

  • Why do so many guys do it? Porn.

    That trick has become quite popular in p*rn of recent years. It's generally a theme of dominating over the girl, with a subdued intention to debase her. It's become almost a staple of modern p*rn in that respect, the general theme of "hardcore" p*rn has trended towards an "abuse and debase the girl" attitude in the last decade, to almost a pseudo-rape or misogynistic vibe by now. There's actually a whole market of this in the p*rn world, about making the girl choke and gag, except in the p*rn they also slap in them in the face and call them names while they do it... there's all kinds of it out there. Disturbingly, guys are turned on by this I guess.

    Some guys will try things they see in p*rn on some girls, if they think they can get away with it. I wouldn't be afraid to tell him that it makes you uncomfortable, or even that you find it offensive, if I were you.

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