My boyfriend had sex with a prettier girl than me. I am so jealous.

I saw her pictures on MySpace and she's gorgeous. I'm pretty but also have to be realistic I think she's prettier than me. I love my boyfriend so much but I can't believe he had sex with such a pretty girl. We were talking about our past sexual relationships and he told me he didn't want to tell me the names because I might know them. Come to find out it was a friend of mine's cousin. I don't know her personally. I just can't stop thinking about when he tells me that he thinks he's crazier than me in bed and that he's never had complaints. I can't stop but think that he had sex with her and threw her around. It makes me so jealous. All I can think of is him having sex with her and him thinking of her as the prettiest girl he's ever been with. I love him so much but I hate that he was with her. How can I forget this it hurts too? Has anyone else gone through this? How did you handle it?

Updates:
Yes THIS WAS PAST SEXUAL RELATIONSHIPS he's had.
 

What's Your Opinion?

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Most Helpful Opinion

  • So he had sex with someone that was better looking than you..Is that what really bothers you?or..That the cherished idea of you being this super-sexy attractive girlfriend, has now been brutally crushed by the cruel, cold and heartless grasp of reality?First of all,He had sex with her when he was younger.. When guys are younger, all they want to do is have sex with the hottest girl.. It's a social prestige thing.. "I had sex with the most attractive girl, therefore I'm better than all of you other guys! Maybe it's my looks that are better, maybe I'm just richer, or maybe I just have the biggest d*ck in town.. but whatever it is, it's clearly the most valued.. otherwise, I wouldn't be having sex with the hottest girl now would I?"As guys get older, sex becomes less about "showing off to other guys", and more about "making themselves happy"..And as hard as it is for 99% of girls to accept this idea.. looks are just "one part" of sex.. just because you think she looks better than you.. or heck.. let's just say she does look better than you.. that doesn't mean she "is better than you"..The whole relationship to the side.. if you just want to focus on this topic sexually.. she could be the hottest girl in the face of this earth.. and in his eyes.. she still could never stand a chance of competing with you.. even on your worst day..Why?Because a lot of things factor into the whole sexual experience for guys..- The way you feel about the person- How confident she is in herself- How content & happy she is with herself (the way she looks)- How aware she is of her sexuality & sensuality (knows how to be sexy)- How aware she is of what she does to you, and how she can do it to you (knows how to seduce you and turn you on)- Eye-candyThat's pretty much all the major stuff.. and (looks), eye-candy.. is just one of them..But for all you know.. Miss Universe could have been inhibited.. had issues with sex.. thought she was ugly.. or not as attractive as you see her.. maybe she didn't feel comfortable being sexy.. maybe she didn't have the confidence to think she could be sexy or seductive.. or maybe she just didn't know how to seduce him and turn him on (as in.. more than just getting him hard.. but making him want to (*&# her & blow his load badly.. all thanks to her sexiness)And if that's the case.. (which I'm sure every guy reading this is willing to wager is the case).. than you're just being retarded.. You need to snap out of it.. Smack your insecurities & tell them to shut it.. and start appreciating yourself.. and letting your boyfriend appreciate YOU too.. because believe me.. if he wanted to be appreciating her.. he would be.. but he doesn't.. he wants to appreciate you instead.. and I'm sure it's because he has better taste now that he's a bit older & more mature..

    • I don't need to write an answer to this question, cause you already said it all. Great answer,

What Guys Said 26

  • Simple: you just need to realize that he's with YOU now. You are clearly the victor! :) It doesn't matter HOW pretty she was, because he's not with her, he's with YOU. If anything, you should feel incredibly flattered that he prefers you to her! Remember: looks aren't everything! (Personal note: I would MUCH rather be with a plain girl who is smart, funny and kind than with a supermodel who is vain, crabby and selfish. Just because she's hot, doesn't mean she is a keeper!)

  • i agree get help with your insecurities.

  • Just sorb worth bout it

  • Lets be honest most guys are f***ed in the head and only think about sex. Another truth, most people only care about themselves and what benefits them. I can tell you that its probably in your best interest to move on, and the only way to do that is to cut off all or as many connections with him as you can, because unless he's coming to you and telling you all about it all the time, your doing it to yourself. good luck.

  • go see the docter, you're sick.

  • im one of those guys who had sex with that one girl:-who was 100% gorgeous-who was perfectly hourglass thick-who was bisexual-who was also sexually uninhibited-who also wasn't scared to be a woman and careyou can't get better than that. I dated her in 2006, I think. its 2010 and the worst mistake I ever made with my current Girlfriend is tell her about my past sexual relationships. every once in a while she freaks out about it, just like you but she becomes calm when I say things like:"dont worry about it""me and 'her' will not get together again""im sleeping with you now, I love you and I'm happy with you... only you""jealousy is simply meant to unnecessarily destroy things that are good"and I meant that. so what I'm telling you is, in very simple terms... if you know he's not screwing her now, trust me...DONOT WORRYABOUTITand be happy you're f***ing him now! he ain't going nowhere

    • She moved away to law school and I wasn't gonna be able to see her again. if you want to releive the aggrevation of him slamming this girl before, then become the type of girl he wanted. if you need detailed info, let me know because it may seem like that you may need sum help with getting her out your mind and making sure he doesn't go back. but I say again, if you have his eye, you don't have anything to worry about.

    • What happened with the first woman then ?

  • Well there's a reason why he's with you now. If you think the fact that you're not as pretty matters, then he probably would've passed you up and thought "I've had better!"Now in terms if his experiences in bed, so what if he likes her better? That's something you can change... if you feel comfortable with it. Don't force it though--if it's not how you like it, then it just isn't meant to be. Sexual relationships do need compromises, though. If either of you aren't satisfied with the experience, try to work it out. There is almost always a solution in that department.

  • Well to be honest... get over it. Its in the past, everyone has a past!... you are his present and future. If he seriously wanted this other girl he would still be with her, its amazing how a guys perception of a girl can be changed by the other girl being 'a bitch/slag/hore/self-obsessed wanker'.. or any mixture of those...You would be best to man up and get on with it... there must be a reason he's with you, so don't wreck it.

  • Perhaps your looking at the wrong part of the body in where the beauty lies. Apparently your heart is more beautiful then hers and that is why he is with you? In anycase, it just goes to show you, looks isn't everything. He apparently loves something about you more, embrace it, focus on the future and leave the past in the past.

  • All I can say is that he's with you. If he wasn't satisfied with you, you'd find out about it. I know, it can mess with your confidence, but it really doesn't matter. Maybe she was just a slut. "She was cute, but no substitute. You're the one he loves." :)

  • dont get worked up on how "other women" look. its been my experience that the more attractive the woman, the more of a snob she is. I have heard the saying "the bigger the breast implants...the smaller the heart behind em."there is likely a reason he left her FOR you! don't threaten it, embrace it

  • :D so he says that she has the craziest sex with him?and he had never complained ? so let me get this straight at first he wouldn't tell you her name but he told you the stories? I personally would never say that someone else in my past had the best craziest sex with because one the best sex is from the person you love (to me) and if he still thinks its the best sex what is in love with sex? her ? you? I can't tell . but telling your love something like that and trying to hold back names after the stories hmmm? I care too much to say anything like that to my honey bunny I don't want her to feel less of a woman to me unless I regret something I want to break it off but don't have the balls so I become careless an tell stories but realized I what I done I don't tell her who but she finds out anyways and now she's hurt and don't know what to do I don't think you going crazy you are having a normal reaction to careless idiot so even if my story I made don't match well you can get the picture of what could've also happen but they all have the same idiot an worst case is trying to break it off so makes you feel crazy . but best advice I can think of is talk to him let him know how he made you feel now here is where is tricky if he cares he can fix this but he's doesn't :/ yea... I'm gonna tell you how it can be fixed because he has to do it and I don't want you to tell him and if you don't care just ask me I'll tell you the answer because I had a problem like this before and if you need to smile check this link out link

  • seems as if this is a personal problem. don't let him you think this way or you will be out the door. this is borderline "crazy talk" you should focus more on what your man's needs are and less on his ex's. His gorgeous ex-fling was obviouse missing something. You are his full package. beauty is in the eye of the beholder. and right now you are it.

  • Well you can be happy that you can pull a boyfriend who can pull pretty girls. Appearance is only a small part of a relationship, mental attraction, personality is a bigger part in the long term. If you are threatened by his past relationships, showing it will only make you more unattractive, insecure, less confident, it might push him away...

  • you got the wrong attitude quit putting yourself SECOND no don't be conceited but CONFIDENT forget that other girl you should ALWAYS put and BELIEVE in yourself I don't care what the other girl looks like and remember SEX ISNT LOVE AND LOVE ISNT SEX if he did it with her before you don't worry about it its PAST if he was with you that's a whole nother question KEEP YOUR HEAD UP

  • John F Kennedy had sex with Marilyn Monroe. But who did he go home to? So what if he did her in the past, who is he with now? If he wanted her more than you he'd likely either be with her or trying to be. Beauty isn't just about what is on the outside. Maybe it is what is on the inside that he loves with you. That doesn't make you any less than she is. To be honest I would be flattered if my girl had been with a much hotter guy, but loved me. Sex can be bought, but love can only be given. Remember that. :]

  • I hope you're getting over it by now or you're going to mess up your relationship.

  • Girl you are trippin. Just forget about it. Who cares how pretty she is. HE IS WITH YOU NOW! Looks aren't everything. In this day and age if you can't be with a guy who has been with girls before you are gonna be lonely.

  • Don't worry about it he's with you now so in his mind you're probably better looking than the girl in the past relationship he had

  • He is with you now. That means something.There are a lot of pretty girls in the world...you can't go around with that mentality obvious there is something he finds better about you than her.

  • well I would just say have a bigger circle. I don't like knowing the people she slept with

  • If it's the past, then its the past. He is with you now and he obviously has feelings for you. Tell him what you saw and tell him what you feel but don't incriminate him for it! That will only make him feel tension in your relationship.

  • He had sex with a really pretty girl, but he also separated from her... Obviously something was wrong between him and her... No point worrying about it.

  • Don't fight it. Tell him it hurts you. Talk about ti with him and your friends. In time you'll find it's less important. Only time will take care of this feeling.

  • You need to stop being nozy. Let the past, be the past. That's the only way you'll get over it. By avoiding every detail of his sexual history. Simply put, forgo learning about it.

  • Is this the type of guy you want to be with? See, people like you give a bad name to all women in around the world. How can you still love him knowing he has sex with another girl? Tell him F.U. and a find a better guy that won't cheat on you. Spare me "Oh but I still love him BS", listen to your logical brain for once.

    • If you had not been so quick to judge and had bothered to read her question, you might have understood why your current answer misses the point completely.

    • Yo, I think she's talking about things that that happened before they got together. "past sexual experiences" . she's tripin out about nothing....u can't change the past

What Girls Said 33

  • lol the guys who respond are such d***s. i can understand why you would be insecure but you do have to accept it and move on. my current boyfriend is the most unattractive guy I have slept with (not to say that he's unattractive but the other guys were slightly hotter) and he's actually been the best in bed. I don't think about the other guys still because he is the one I love..im sure your boyfriend feels the same way.

  • I feel ya girl . I'm right there with you, my boyfriend lost his v card to a gorgeous, incredibly rich snob whom he forced me to meet. She couldn't be bothered to even pretend to be friendly. But the comments I've read from the guys are super helpful, here's to us both getting over this little speed bump!

  • Don't feel bad. I also get this way when I think about how my boyfriend lost his virginity to his ex fiancĂ©e. I gave him my virginity but he could give me his. Trust me, I know exactly how you feel.

  • He's with you and not her.She probably lacks something you have... chances are you're more intelligent, less shallow, more caring...I wish people would stop obsessing over looks so much :(

  • Hi, I'm currently going through the same thing, I have been for the past 3 months, and it does hurt, but what I've been doing is trying not to think about it. Some things that I try to do whenever I start to think about it is to think of how many people have been cheated on and I think how lucky I am that I haven't been through something as bad as them although it feels just as bad. And then I simply do something that I like to forget about it. If your still going through this and you still need help, feel free to leave me a message and I can help you more, hope I helped.

  • Awh don't be so insecure :) keep your head up.

  • Honestly, getting jealous over someone's past is a waste.The past is over and this is now.Besides, he probably thinks you're prettier than she is or he wouldn't be with you right now.It's all about taste.Yes, even straight girls have a taste in girls.Like, you might think Megan Fox is prettier than Carmen Electra, but someone else might think differently.See what I'm saying?

  • Sucks doesn't it. But in the end, there's not much you can do about it other than to remember that that was a past experience and he's moved on from it. She may have been terrible in bed. He may not think she's as pretty as you do. He may think you're prettier. She may have been a really crappy girlfriend. Whatever the case, things are different, and he's yours now - just keep remembering that and try not to think otherwise. If you're really so worried, you could always just let him throw you around loads so that he's done it with you more than her =P

  • Look at it this way, she might be pretty, but she probably SUCKED in bed. She might have made crazy farm animal noises or just laid there and did nothing. If he's having sex with you, then it's you he wants to have sex with. if she was that great, he'd still be trying to get with her. hold your head up. she's not worth your time dear. Looks can be deceiving!

  • Beauty is skin deep. Don't let it bother you. He is with you now and that's all that matters. If he slept with her whilst he was with you then yes you can be p*ssed off.But for now just enjoy your relationship and chill out!Everyone is beautiful in their own way.

  • I don't know what to say I was the prettier girl in my relationship and he kept me.. but seriously why the hell are you going to let this ruin your relationship.. no one is perfect maybe she had some messed up feet or smelly breath or heck maybe she even stank down there.. think of that.

  • don't be jealous, just get prettier than her and then laugh at them.

  • Hey If he didn't like what you were working with he wouldn't be all up in yo jelly!

  • well if he's your boyfriend now it doesn't matter what happened in the past... do not let these things fog your mind and ruin what you do have with him... insecurities creep up and ruin what he likes about you... don't think of her and don't let the thought of her ruin what you have with him...

  • It's the past all you can do is forget about it. Nothing is going to happen with you thinking about it.It happens to the best of us. Good luck

  • wow girl everyone has gone threw this it sucks but he is with you remember that and its not like he did it when you two were together also if you really think she is that pretty then well think about it this way you both had the same guy so that ranks you up there with the really pretty girls lol but like is he the hottest guy you ever been with because if so I find it better to settle down with a guy who is not as hot as you are meaning the girl should be better looking than her significant other

  • I thought my boyfriend's ex was prettier than me, then I remember that it was me he wanted. She was a slut who was horrible to him and gave him a rubbish blowjob once. At least I know how to turn him on.Let's reverse the situation: My ex boyfriend had a bigger penis. It used to make my current boyfriend jealous, and I'd always say "It's a tool he could never use properly, you on the other hand are rather a master of it..."But your boyfriend shouldn't be comparing you to her. What is he, a bitch?

  • yknow its a hard thing to forget...ive heard my partner say that he was a wild child when he was younger...his dad told me that my boyfriend had been a bit of a man whore in earlier life...(which was a bit worrying for me since id never been that far with anyone let alone stuff he was claiming...) he told me about one of them..with whom he'd been in an 8 month long relationship or whatever...and is still best mates with her...ive met her too...shes a nice girl...but I was UBER jealous...untill I learnt that shed cheated on him with some other guy...then her friend told my Boyfriend the story over msn...then they broke up on Christmas day. to this day she still claims that she was drunk and didn't cheat on him. do I still feel jealous? no. I know I couldn't do something like that to someone I love so much...nor could he do it to me. I have a lot of sympathy for her but I'm still left saying well look who has him now...envious much?

  • he WAS with her. He IS with YOU now. Be happy and stop thinking about her, she's in the past.

  • Who cares? That was in the past. It doesn't matter if its your cousin's friends. You can't control your fall in love with and have sex with. You need to move your thought on your gonna be stuck in pointless rut. There is nothing to handle. Just be mature about it and get over it. Not trying to sound rude; just being real.

  • I really think you should know... my current boyfriend has told me that in his relationship before me (b/c at one point I thought she was pretty from a pic I saw of her - but he said it was a "sucker pic" and she didn't really look that good lol) anyhow - he said he thought she was really beautiful when they got together... but throughout the relationship and how she treated him she started to be less and less attractive. It got to the point in the last few months together - he didn't even have sex with her on a vacation trip on her birthday! He said he was too tired or something to get out of it because he really wasn't attracted to her anymore. He ended it shortly after that because it was a wake up call to how little he cared for her at that point. He said he thinks she's incredibly ugly now and he hates her and she's nothing but a stupid b*tch and that I'm a thousand times prettier and sexier than she ever was! What I'm saying is... looks change when you really get to know someone. It's not just about what is on the outside, but what is on the inside will reflect in what you perceive later on. They are exes for a reason and he is with YOU. So I'm willing to bet he thinks you look better than she does. On a side note - he shouldn't be saying he is crazier in bed than you. And why is he saying he's never had complaints? Did you complain or is he putting you down? Don't let him make you feel bad. If he's being respectful about it, ok... but don't let him be an ass to you. If he IS being respectful or trying to be when he says that... maybe just read up on some tricks you can do in the bedroom. Give him a lap dance in the living room (practice first to build confidence and grace) totally rock his f*ckin world and make him forget about all his past experiences. Make him wonder how he got to be so lucky to have such a sexy honey like you! :)

  • I have been in the same position as you during my relationships. I hated those times..i was so down on myself. all of my relationships have always been tinged with meloncholy..usually having much to do with my jealousy for another girl. None of those relationships were true love though and it was a waste of emotional energy and time. I felt like my boyfriends betrayed my feelings. but I was mad that they made me feel that way...I know I never done the same to them. but anyway I hope that didn't sound too crazy...reading your question just made me feel sad..and brought back a lot of memories :(

  • All I can say is you need to stop thinking about it. You are intentionally driving yourself crazy. It's a bummer you even found out about her. I had an ex that would tell me about the top f*cks he ever had and how they were his dream girls physically but it was obvious they were not his dream girls in any other way. He did not even make them his girlfriend. He just had sex with them and that was that. So, keep in mind that just because a guy thinks a girl is hot for sexual purposes doesn't mean he loves her or has any great feelings for her. Oh, and, yes I was jealous of these "dream" girls because he did tell me enough for me to know I did not measure up to them but I got over it real quick knowing they did not even make Girlfriend status. Oh, and he was an ass so I really don't care now, lol.

  • If you're worried about the fact that she was pretty... why? If he likes pretty girls and you weren't pretty then he wouldn't be with you, therefore he thinks you're pretty too.If it's in the past then obviously they aren't together anymore and there's got to be a reason why. If he was just interested in looks I'm pretty sure he would've put up with a lot of bull to stay with her, therefore it must have been something big that pushed him away. He's not likely going to get back together with her so why worry? It's YOU he's with right now. YOU'RE the one he wants.

  • I havnt been through that. But everyone is pretty in their own way and as women we are always puttn ourself down and comparing ourselves to others. I wouldn't worry bout it bcuz ur the one who has his attention now you matter not her.

  • Well she may be prettier than you in your opinion but you still have the title of his girlfriend and its more important then the title of the girl I slept with so be happy there are people dying to take your place.

  • 1. Just because you think she's prettier than you doesn't mean he does.2. He's with you, not her.

  • We are our own worse critics. But may I ask why you would discuss this with him in the first place? It cannot feel good in any way ever. You must be comfortable with yourself and secure enough or you will not keep him. He is with you now and you have no idea how he feels about you opposed you. But obviously he feels stronger or else he would not stay with you and he would be chasing her! If you obsess over this it is only going to lead to disaster and he will leave. Stay cool and just keep in mind he is yours now :) And forget her existence stop lookin at her picture and dwelling on it! We all have a past and its just that a past! YES sometimes we think about it but you shouldn't ever let it torture you! Besides who is saying he wouldn't think one of your ex's is better looking then him? He may not come out and tell ya this but just keep that in mind ;] Insecurities will reap havoc on any relationship and obsessing over a past love or interest is one that will destroy. Goodluck to erasing this from your mind :] And Enjoy the one you have now because he is yours and none elses!

  • Shut up and get the f*** over it! Is he with her right now? No he's with you

  • I've been through this with major jealousy issues, and this was my conclusion:She's part of the past. He's with you now because he loves you, and he never loved her the way he does you. He never had with her what he has with you. You could NEVER be her, but neither could she EVER be you. There's no reason for jealousy, ever. He has something unique and irreplaceable with you; right here, right now.

    • Keep in mind this also goes for every relationship you'll ever have, so learn to value yourself. It's everyone else's fault if they fail to appreciate what they have in you.

  • aw, that sucks. I kind of know how you feel since my ex boyfriend is dating a prettier girl than me who all her friends (who were kind of my friends too) are much more approving he's going out with. it blows doesn't it? but, how do you know she's prettier than you? that could just be you being insecure. did he say he thought she was prettier? if she really is, there's nothing you can do but try to forget and appreciate that your boyfriend is with you now. avoid the subject, show him what a great girlfriend you are compared to her by always being there for him, making him laugh, giving him lots of hugs, looking really gorgeous and being fun around him. she probably isn't, though. we all think other people are prettier than ourselves, when really we're all just attractive in different ways. maybe she has nicer hair but really bad teeth or something. right? anywayys, just try not to bring her up around him so that he doesn't think about her too often. if he says he hates her, he obviously still cares about her or is mad at her, even if only a little (about something if he's mad) or he would just feel neutral toward her. try to occupy most of his thoughts (but don't be too clingy or force yourself on him), so that he doesn't have time to remember her prettiness too much. if that doesn't work, and he chooses her, still doesn't mean she's prettier than you! just that they were more meant for each other. just try to forget it as best you can, I know it will be difficult. but try to occupy your mind with being happy and enjoying life, and the good things you have. it will eventually start to work. hope that helped! I feel for you =(xox Sacha

  • i am not the jealous type. I have however wondered (in my silly insecure moments) if I am good enough for my bf. So I get u. But I guess no answer will calm your jealousy. what you have to do is... get some self-confidence from this situation! who cares who he has slept with: could be megan fox for crying out loud. what matters is that he is with you now. Doesn't that count for something? You should focus on feeling reaaaaly good instead. he's yours. think about it. all yours. :-) and if he's a cool guy on top of it, make a joke and tell him you think he's "the man", cause he can get all the best girls. I garantee he will be happy to have you too if you flirtly stroke his ego a bit.

  • I'm going through that now! wow! you totally know exactly how I feel. hahawell, I guess you just have to trust that he loves you moreand that he is with you nowand maybe get him to tell you why they broke up and didn't work out and what a terrible person she isand then beauty isn't every thingalso, it helps to know that he loves you a million times more and he knows she was a mistakeand beauty isn't everythingmy guy said that his ex (who is very pretty , and he was with her for 3 years before me), is a bitch and that he wishes she'd get into a car accident and die, and that it was a huge mistake and she is a terrible person and if she had kids, her kids would be the sons of the devilwell. That kind of helps, but I'm still trying to get over it also, and he's trying to help me get over it... but it's not working and it's ruining our relationship... but I hope we figure it out! If you figure it out, let me know! Thanks so much for your post, exactly how I feel... good luck to us both

    • Take it from me it's worse when cheats on you with someone fugly. That is tough to get over. At least he has good taste in women. There was something Miss Hottie wasn't giving to him. SO good for you. The past is the past don't think backwards move forward. Everytime you think about it tell yourself she must have really sucked.If he keeps talking about how great he is maybe he's insecure.He wasn't that great because the ex girls didn't stay for the sex part of the relationship.

    • Don't bring that subject up anymore it ovbiously hurts him andd he feels angry unless you go talk to her about it and resolve the issue there's nothing you can do about his anger towards her but only tell him to get over of her and plan to gout more have fun then once he is over her you can pop the question do you really love me? right now he doesn't know that his anger towards her is affecting what you think about the relationship

    • It's just p*ssing him off when I bring it up. He called her a vampire sucking bitch today. and said she stole all his video games, used him and never paid enough attention to him. That he hates her and wishes she'd die. ?? but how do I get him to prove me he loves me?

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