I've lost my ability to squirt. How do I get my groove back?

[Tigris]

I used to be able to make myself squirt at a moment's notice, yet this last month it's been hugely frustrating. I know that it has something to do with the fact that my man was questioning the origin of the actual fluid and we have different ideas. Yet, he said he's completely cool with me squirting. I never used to bother about people's opinion. I've often surprised my lovers with my ability and it never put me off. I even battle to squirt now when I masturbate. Something very foreign to me. It's frustrating, to say the least, because I don't feel like I'm getting my release.

[Deth2AllButMetal]

Okay this may be gross but when I was younger I used to be able to sit in the tub and completely suck water all the way into my vagina a squirt it out. Then came a diagnosis of hip dysplasia and extreme groin pain. I had my hip socket reconstructed and my pelvis surgically broken in 3 places to fix my hip. Since then my pelvis structure has changed. You might want to check in with a urogynocologist that specializes in pelvic floor muscles. You might even need a urodynamics study that puts electrical sensors in your vagina and bladder checking those muscles. I have had the testing and it is not that bad.

[WaterRat]

A guy once tried explaining to me how to squirt. A GUY. I'm not a squirter. If you were, it might come back randomly. Sometimes I can't orgasm *shrug*

[Tigris]

The ability to squirt was also taught to me by a previous lover. It came with a new found freedom and I've been squirting ever since (been 3 years now). I always try and make sure that I orgasm during sex. If a man expects it every time, then surely we can too? That's my thinking, lol. I also never fake it. And once a woman learnt to squirt when she orgasms, it does come as a bit of a let-down when it doesn't happen. Almost feels like I'm faking it. Even though I know that I'm not.

[WaterRat]

I'm glad you were able to squirt, I doubt I will ever and I'm fine with it. I was actually appalled that a guy would tell me how to use a vagina, when not all women squirt and he does not have one himself.

[Tigris]

When you have the experience I had, it wouldn't matter who told you. It was amazing and I'm grateful to him and owe to him for a lot of my confidence as a lover. He broke down all my barriers, by pushing me to that point of complete surrender. To me that is the ultimate sex. To let go of every little thing and just be...

[WaterRat]

:) :)

[Aizou]

Women more so than men are very prone to change in hormones caused by emotions. In this case, stress or frustration is probably it, due to that questioning of his. I'm guessing you're focusing too much on reaching the point of squirting. Things that usually come naturally to us, often becomes odd, awkward or even difficult, when we begin to think about them (think breathing). As long as you're eating right and are healthy, it should only be your mind that's causing an obstacle.

How did he question the origin anyway?

[Tigris]

I hang on to the belief that the fluid excreted is NOT urine. He believes it is coming from the bladder, so it HAS to be urine. He's not big on oral, so maybe that's where my problem lies. I made his "preference" my problem.

[Aizou]

You're completely right that it's not urine. The fluid is excreted through the skene's glands, which is close to the urethra, which is probably why there's so much confusion. Also, many women explain the buildup/feeling as having to pee, which is because it's generated (in lack of better words) close to the bladder, pushing on it. That along with the placement of the skene's glands is why there's such confusion. It's kind of like the female equivalent of the male's prostate. You can tell him in confidence that it isn't urine, although it's still a difficult subject of discussion. The fluid typically produced is called "prostate-specific antigen" (odd name, I know). As long as you empty your bladder beforehand, you're completely fine.

[Tigris]

I keep telling him that, but he is of the opinion that the skene's glands cannot possibly produce the amount of fluid I produce. Well, it's a matter of education and the fact that the medical world is also holding to different opinions. I know what I know. I just need to find my groove again, I think and stop overthinking it, right?

[Aizou]

That's the likely solution. Even men can have trouble reaching climax or even getting erect, if they're under too much stress/thinking too much. Perhaps a spa-day or something to help you relax would be good.

[Tigris]

Well, Aizou, that's the BEST solution I've heard so far. We've had to deal with him moving in. Adjusting to life together with added financial stress, so maybe that's exactly that. I'm so glad I took the time to ask you guys. Sometimes it's good to have a soundboard and know that I'm not going crazy, somehow.

[Aizou]

Most certainly. Very often just having another set of eyes (or brains) on the matter, can bring a whole different perspective to our thinking. I wish you and your husband all the best. :)

[Ben38]

you shouldn't try to force it. maybe you're better off if you try to find a way to pleasure yourself successfully and let the squirting come back over time. for me it sounds more like a mental barrier and you first need to forget about this barrier to get the easy squirting times back.

[Dim1213]

I suggest drinking more water you might be dehydrated.

[Tigris]

You might be on to something here. Thanks. Off to go do just that.

[Dyonisos]

be sure you're cool with it ( you should, it's for sure a feature and not a bug :)) then hydrate really well and... try again without any pressure on the result. A puff of something light and some hot loving would definitely help.

[Homeskrillah]

So I don't know really but is it the same when you squirt and climax? Just give me a quick answer. but I will tell you that it may work or not (oh what the heck) can use some machines

[Tigris]

One may climax without squirting, but I usually squirt when I climax, hence my frustration

[Tigris]

Oh, and I sometimes do use vibrators and dildos. Same thing happens (or rather doesn't happen). So it's not the guy. It's me

[natas]

you need a man a tongue and 1 finger I'd make you loose your shit shot I promise

[Tigris]

hehe, thanks babe, I think it's all just a little dehydration and stress from moving. My lover couldn't even make me cum yesterday and usually we have NO problem in that department. Thanks for the offer. It sounds enticing ;)

[natas]

stress absolutely will do it I have gone monthes without even reaching erection from it

[Thongsman]

you might want to go to a urologist to get checked out

[masterkamasutra]

you need a good fuck to make it happen.