Girls, When to ditch the condoms in the relationship?

[MorganR1994]

How long were you in a relationship with someone before you said or agreed that a condom didn't need to be worn. (Assuming you're on some form of birth control)

[samhradh_leannan]

If you are in a trusting monogamous relationship, you have both been tested free of STDs, and you're on another form of birth control (such as the pill) (or you want to get pregnant), then it's generally considered safe to stop using condoms. But you are trusting your partner to be loyal, since if they catch an STD while cheating, they could pass it on to you. Be aware that HPV, which is dangerous to women, can be carried and spread by men but men cannot be tested for it. If you're going to ditch the condoms, make sure you get the HPV vaccination. Also be aware that some STDs have an incubation period, meaning that they won't show up on tests until you've have them for a certain period of time.

[MorganR1994]

Would you not use condoms for cost reasons?

[samhradh_leannan]

Never. If you feel that condoms are necessary or beneficial for your sexual health and/or birth control purposes, then it is very important to use them. Never go without a condom just because they are expensive. I would advise skipping sex altogether before I would advise that. You could try buying condoms in bulk online I order to save some money on them.

[MorganR1994]

I agree. It's just like $50 every two weeks or so in protection

[samhradh_leannan]

That's a lot... you must be having a lot of sex lol. Try ordering condoms online in larger quantities at once, since you can save some money that way. Also check out free clinics or school nurses that may provide some free condoms. You can also consider getting yourself and your partner tested for STDs, and going on birth control pills for getting an IUD, which your health insurance might cover. If you trust each other completely and you're both clean, and you have been vaccinated for HPV, and you're using another form of birth control, then I personally would feel comfortable going without condoms in that situation. But that's a personal choice.

[MorganR1994]

I never thought about a free clinic actually. So that's a great idea. We are very active sometimes 3-4 times a day. Not sure how I would explain that if I went to a clinic lol

[samhradh_leannan]

Some places give out a few free condoms to patients and visitors. You won't need to tell them how often you have sex, lol. But they also probably won't give you very many condoms at a time. It's not a solution that will replace purchasing your own condoms, but it might be a handy way to supplement your condom stash and spend a little less. I'd still recommend buying condoms online in bulk if you plan to keep using them.

[MorganR1994]

Or we could decrease the amount we have sex but I don't know about that. It could help save a few dollars though.

[samhradh_leannan]

I think you have a few options. It's one of those cases where nothing is perfect, but you have to choose what makes the most sense for you. Don't sacrifice your health and safety, though. That should come above all else.

[MorganR1994]

Ahh decisions decisions!

[Tammy94]

In my current relationship, I was already on the pill when we started dating and he was a virgin. I wanted his first time to be as intimate as possible and I'm very good about taking my pills, so we started without condoms and have never used them except as a backup.

[ItsAMeWeirdo]

How did you know he was actually a virgin? Just a question not an insult. I have to tell people that because they keep thinking I'm throwing shots

[kaylaS91]

I was with my boyfriend for two months or so before we ditched the condom. (We were only sexually active for one of those two months, and I did make sure to discuss and agree upon how we would proceed if I did fall pregnant.)

[MorganR1994]

Did everything work out for you? Did it improve your experience together?

[kaylaS91]

yeah, I suppose? I was the one who had the biggest issue with condoms as, due to what I suspect to be a latex allergy/sensitivity, I would feel dried out to the point of pain with each thrust no more than 10sec. in. We actually switched to using the withdrawal method for ~2 years following that. Which was better than with condoms but the method that most improved our experience or made us feel eth most intimate was of course 100% bare from start to finish after I got on birth control about a year ago.

[MorganR1994]

Yeah. I could understand that. I think going bare would be better and more intimate for us.

[desertflwr]

for me it's around 6-7 months dating. I don't have sex w someone I'm dating until 3-4 months in also.

[Wonderer89]

Once we said we were exclusive and in a relationship, and both had STD checks over 2 months of last sleeping with another person

[MorganR1994]

We have been together for a little over a year and we still use them. He hasn't said much about it but has dropped hints of wanting to get away from them.

[Wonderer89]

Maybe just ask if that's what he's wanting to discuss and have that conversation. If you don't want to though that's perfectly ok. It comes with another set of risks as no birth control is 100% and it's good to see where you both stand in that event. I'd still get a test done if you haven't since being with each other as some can have no symptoms and should be treated so it's not passed on.

[aicarg]

Once we both discussed and told eachother that we wanted a commited relationship, both of us were screened and checked. About 4 months into our relationship we built a strong mutual trust with eachother. I went on the pill + used spermicide.

[Lelaila]

When your relationship is stable enough that you know that if you do get pregnant, even though you use birth control, you two can work it out together.

[mermaid175]

when you are financially ready to support a child... birth control is known to fail so you should be conscious of that

[ciitruskiwi]

Once I moved in with my boyfriend, about 2 years into our relationship, I went on the pill and we stopped using condoms.

[AthleticMom]

ONLY when kids were planned.
ALWAYS BC PILLS + RUBBER + anything else that defends
18 years+ is a long. long time as a servant

[BlueFire876]

Never. (for me)

[nalaa]

if you're both ok with it, then I don't see why you'd ever have to wear a condom?

[MorganR1994]

For protection?

[nalaa]

against what? Look if he did have an STD when you met, then he still does now. Similarly if you're with a marginally higher chance of getting pregnant now, then why weren't you a few weeks/months ago?