Sexual Health
+1 y

My cousin and I have a mutual crush. Yesterday, we acted on it.

My cousin (First) and I have liked each other for a very long time. Its always been a running joke that we'd act on it if we had the chance. We are kinda like cuddle buddies. Every chance we get, we cuddle. Anyway, she came up to stay a few days with me and it was absolutely amazing. It was just me and her and we cuddled all weekend. Not just normal cuddling but if you could make cuddling hardcore, that was it lol. Well on the last day we were in each others arms, she was in panties and a tank and I was in boxers and a tee shirt. We were face to face and it was feeling really nice. We looked at each other and we kissed. We had never done that before, it kind of shocked us both. We kissed again and again and eventually we were making out. When we cuddle it was normal for me to rub her inner thigh or her tummy or whatever. This time it went a little further. My hand slipped under her panties and there was a lot of finger play. She came and we continued to make out. I then removed her undies and there was a lot of tongue play. She came again and we went back to making out and fingering. It never went beyond that and she didn't do anything to me. She wanted to, she kept giving subtle hints that she wanted me to ask for it but I always feel weird asking so I didn't. Anyways... So basically it was everything but sex and it will never escalate to to sex. We were at it for about 3.5 hours till we finally had to get up and leave. My question is, would you have acted on it if you were in my situation? Would you continue to do it? I know its wrong but what's done is done so no need to preach about it if that's what you are going to answer.
Updates:
+1 y
ok... It escalated to sex.
+1 y
We are basically in a full blown secret relationship right now.
1 2

Most Helpful Girls

  • I started dying when I read your update, lol. It's no big deal. I think it's interesting to know that youve known one another your entire lives and were still that attracted to one another. I'm not sure it'd still fall under the definition of genetic sexual attraction without a lifelong or at least significant length of time in which you were separated. I was separated from my father's side of the family until my early 20's and when we met our cousins, my sister and I agreed that "Kev was sexy as hell." Always have a bit of a crush on him, he admitted to it being mutual... we're buds and it ends at thinking he's a cutie pie... if left up to him I'm sure it'd be different, but I digress (lol)...
    Don't beat yourself up about it or worry too much. Can't change what's happened. I actually can't believe the number of people that wanna react to you as if this couldn't possibly be natural when it's estimated that 80% of all marriages throughout history have been between 1st & 2nd cousins. And the belief that children born to cousins are destined to be challenged physically or mentally is not true either. Any random people off the street that meet and have a baby have a 3% chance of producing offspring with a defect, it's doubled to 6% between first cousins, the same difference between a woman having a baby at 30 & that same woman having a baby at 40. It became a problem within royal families because of Multiple generations of breeding within the family. Uneducated people like to keep bullshit beliefs in circulation. Webbed feet, Jesus Christ 😒 Anyhoo, it's not likely your family would be too accepting, so be sure to be careful in that respect, and be aware of both of your emotions. Sounds like something that could become increasingly complicated if you're not on the same page. Have fun sure, can't take what's been done back now, but be honest with one another about what this is so neither of you gets hurt and be aware of the consequences. Good luck!

  • So I'm in the same situation as you, except I just read ur update. lol I don't plan on giving in to my desire... fully.
    Except I do fantasize about him penetrating my ass while I masturbate and am fucking tempted... lol
    I've kissed so many guys... I have another guy who says he cannot imagine living without me and we've been friends for 3 years but I don't want to date him yet... I don't know I just can't stop thinking about my hot cousin!
    Him and I trade nudes and the way he touches me... I've given him a bj, but I won't let him down on me... I would not be able to resist him if I found out how much more amazing he could make me feel... Every experience with him is fuckin electric and its never boring and his personality is so charming... It has to remain a secret! I would be so embarrassed if everyone found out. I don't know what to do with myself.. I enjoy talking to him, I literally forget to text everyone else! No guy has held my attention as much as my fuckin cuz and its so weird but so good! I am enjoying it for what it is... but honestly, I am terrified if one of us catches deeper feelings. I won't know what to do.

  • I think its illegal to marry first cousins today, but in the 1800's it used to be a frequent practice. Is it possible that she isn't a cousin by blood? Or that you haven't known her all your life? Idk, I wouldn't have done this with any of my cousins, we're too close. And there is no attraction. But then If I hadn't known them all of my life then sure, maybe. Its actually possible that I am kin to my boyfriend now. His great aunt has the same last name as my great grandmother but then they both married into it. So I have no idea and kind of keep it to myself. Maybe she's not really your cousin by chance? That would be ok. I have a niece because my best friend has no siblings and therefore made her best friends her daughter's aunts and uncles. So my kids would be her cousins but not by blood. And thinking about it if I had a son I wouldn't mind him dating her. But that's light years away. Good luck.

    • DEFINITELY related by blood. She's my mother's sister's daughter. So first cousins. Known her all my life... well all her life.

    • Actually I think there are i think 20 states or more that allow cousins to marry some have restrictions on it that you have to be 65 or if one can prove that one can't have kids but some states alow full marriage

Most Helpful Guys

  • I would not have done it but I would have been tempted. One thing I will say is that you are a little old for this kind of impulsive behavior. You should have known better. Your graphic description of the event explains how your compulsion (they used to call that "lust" in church) overruled good sense.

    Dispense with the guilt, explanations, apologies and whatever. Just tell her that you like her a lot, but "we just can't do this ever again and it is a yoke we will have to bear." On the cosmic scale, there is no permanent damage here but you have to stop now, admit your error to anyone you have told about this (such as everybody reading this board), resolve to not do it again and go on.

  • If you know it is wrong and you keep doing it, then most likely it won't stop with fingering and oral. You'll take it all the way because in your minds you'll find a way to justify it like "well, at least we're not just random strangers hooking up" or "I know she's clean and she loves me, at least I care about her" etc... until you actually have sex.

    I can see the temptation, although I can't relate to it. I don't think that I would have ever acted on it because it's just something you shouldn't do.

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What Girls & Guys Said

26 23

  • I know where you are coming from, but at your age no I would not have acted on it. Maybe when I was a teenager but you know the consequences and would be heading toward social suicide, social outcast and most importantly a massive amount of pain.

    If you love her... let her go.

  • I probably would have done the same. I've had the hots for one of my cousins too, and I'm pretty sure she did too, but we never acted on it.

    But sex would be my limit and I would never cross that with her. Everything else though would be fine.

  • I really think the sexual tension being so high between you too sparked that moment. Don't hate on yourself or feel grossed out because of what people will think - but I would advice against pursuing this.

    I mean, at the end of the day this is your call. But, your asking for advice and my advice is to talk to her face to face - and figure out how you guys felt about it.

    It happened. Let that ship sail and work on where you are now.

  • what's done is done. I can't say I wouldn't have gotten caught up in the moment as well... I have done things with family related by marriage, so it's a little different, but I do think it best for you two to do your best to withhold your feelings though. I know when the sexual tension is that high, that you just can't help it. I think when it happened once, that would be the end of it for me. I don't think I would allow that to continue. if your family found out about it, think about how that would go... I wouldn't worry about it happening once, but I would put a stop to the cuddling thing all together.

  • gross. def not attracted to my cousins.

    • Thank you I think its freaking gross

  • If you continue to do it I would think there would be a really HUGE chance that it would escalate to sex, in the heat of the moment. And since inbreeding is not only socially frowned upon, but genetically too (when first cousins have kids they can come out with a physical deformity and/or mental disabilities; that's why the men in the royal family had hemophilia, and why many of the people of that bloodline were a touch insane) I would say don't do any more of it. even the cuddling, because you see what that led to. I know that's tough, but sometimes life is harder than it should be. Sit down with your cousin, have a nice long chat about what happened, how you feel, how she feels, weigh the pros and cons (with level heads, if you please), and come to a decision/compromise.

    I don't know how I would've acted in your situation- all my male cousins are still children in my eyes, and I've never been attracted to any of my family members.

  • i've got a cousin that we've had a mutual attraction for each other since ever...but we're not technically cousins he's my step-dad's nephew & we've fooled around a bit, but never sex...truly I would sleep with him...but only once, & with a ton of protection because of the fear of getting pregnant with my cousins baby...yuck

  • i guess back in the day first cousins got married all the time, especially in the royal families, so it was almost normall back then... but now I wouldn't tell anyone else. I think you know you can't be together because of the social outcast aspect... and I can imagine how your families would react. it's not the worst thing you could have done, but I don't think you should continue it...

    • Yeah, but the royal families passed on hemophilia by doing that- inbreeding is genetically frowned upon lol not just socially

  • To each I sown...I would not do my cousin but I don't judge people on what they do. I say follow your own and don't listen to what ohters say, you know right from wrong and the consequences on doing wrong...so be safe and think

  • its wrong ...my dear friend...

  • I personally would not have acted on it. I've never had any sort of attraction to any of my cousins but if I did, I wouldn't act on it. I'd be scared of pregnancy and just what my family would think if they ever found out.

  • If you know its wrong, then don't do it again.

  • thats kool well good luck with that

    • So should you have done it?

  • well don't listen to what other people say to you because what you do is your choice and no one can't tell you or her what to do and I know you too are blood but follow your heart if she isn't tha one then keep looking!

  • Guess you answered your own question

  • LOOOOOOOOOOL I had to just click on this question to make sure I'm really hearing what I'm hearing loool duuude..theres millions of females out there...dont go for your cusin man lol

  • I'm not going to preach, but that was not the best idea. The fact that this has been going on for years is bad. I think you need to take a step back and just think about how your family would react. There are so many other women, why your cousin? You risk alienating your entire family AND possibly her when she realizes how wrong sex with cousins is. So no, I wouldn't have acted on it because of all the baggage that comes with something like this. End the cuddling and don't get caught up again.

  • Ask Temptations! :)

    Don't sweat the issue, what's done is done, at least it was at the moment, its not a big thing, just bear in my mind what you plan to do next with here, and in case you ever slept with her, I recommend you to start thinking of an optimal way out!

  • Why do you say that it will never escalate to sex? It seems like every time you two get together it gets more and more sexual. You might as well have sex with her, because you've already done about everything else with her. It doesn't seem like you think that you're doing anything wrong, so why stop?

    If I had feelings for a cousin, I definitely wouldn't pursue those feelings and would probably try to stay away from them as much as possible. Avoid temptation.

    • Honestly don't know the answer to those questions.

  • I would have backed out, just like you. I'v never been in such a situation before, and if at all I do come across such a situation, I'd wud'n hav sex with my cousin.

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