Threesome - How do I convince my Girlfriend?

[mobysdick09]

Recently I did a big favor for my girlfriend, and in return she said I could have anything I want. So I asked for a threesome with her and another girl. She said ok and promised to give me one, but I know in her mind she's just kidding. My girlfriend and I are very sexually open and kinky with each other. We've been very committed to each other for 2 years, even though half of it was long-distance. I think she likes the thought of a threesome (2Girl-1Guy), but when it comes to really doing it, I don't think she's excited about it or even willing to try it. I think there are 2 reasons she is unwilling: 1. She thinks that the reason I want a 3some is because I want to have sex with a new girl. Although she may get turned on if I penetrated another girl, she would still be extremely jealous. 2. She's attracted to girls but not enough to get really sexually aroused by them. But at the same time, she tells me that she would get kinky only with a girl she thought was really sexy. The problem is she has very high standards for girls (higher than mine lol), so there is no right 3rd girl among the people we know. How do I overcome these 2 "problems" so that her promise doesn't remain a joke? I'd like to hear opinions and suggestions from girls. And also anyone who's had a 3some before. Thanks!

[dakadan]

I have had a number of threesomes and it really depends on the woman and her level of security and/or interest in pursuing a threesome. First you both have to be in a very good place. Don't to it to save the relationship or just after coming off a big fight. Second, you need to pamper her and let her feel and know that she is very special. Third, make sure you set up boundaries and stand by them rigidly. She may say something like we can start off, but if I decide I don't want to do anything then we have to stop. She may try it to test you and you better be ready for it.

Finally, if you do go for it take things very slowly. Do not focus on the other woman. Women protect themselves against abandonment and are always on the lookout for it. It is a very secure woman who isn't. It is part of the oxytocin/estrogen mix of things.

Never push her into anything she absolutely doesn't want to do. If she has mentioned it in the past then she might be open to it. It is probably not a common conversation that she has and could be scared of it. If done right it can be a lot of fun.

[volkl195]

a few months ago, on my girlfriend's birthday, I had that bitter-sweet chance to have a threesome. I was with my girlfriend, and in walked her best friend, who had always wanted to be with me. the sight of me with my girlfriend turned her on, and she asked to join. I didn't say a word. it was the girlfriend who said yes. for as much fun as it was, in the end, it wasn't worth the guilt trip I had to go through! the girlfriend got jealous, saying I was into her friend too much, even though I kept to the girlfriend! I fought with the girlfriend, the friend, and ended up looking like the jerk, when really I didn't need the late addition. take it from a guy who has been with a willing girlfriend, it never works out the way the fantasy is imagined! how about another idea for a favor!

[April]

I think a gentleman wouldn't try to convince his girlfriend to do something she clearly didn't seem keen on doing. And a gentleman wouldn't even think of pulling the , "But you said." and "if you love me you'll do it." lines. Why would you want her to do something she doesn't want to do? Time to put on your big boy undies and think of another favor.

I believe you're thinking about yourself and what you want. It's nice that you've considered why she may not want to have a threesome, but frankly, by pushing the issue you're being disrespectful.

Threesomes sound like a great idea in theory, but rarely happen without there being some sort of repercussions. Doing something like that can bring out insecurities in even the most confident people.

[grace86]

I agree whole heartedly April

[krissadew]

Questions such as this make me sad.

[HaggardDiva]

Well, I think threesomes are great, but like dakadan said, you need to be in a good place in your relationship so she knows things are secure. Offer to her that within the threesome you won't touch the other girl. Let her do the stuff with the other girl, this will allow her to feel like you aren't trying to be with another woman.

Personally, every time I've been in one, it was with 2 other people that were not in relationships. Also, people that I didn't "like," yes I was attracted to them, but only sexually. That way no jealousy issues can come up.

[grace86]

It seems to me that your girlfriend obviously likes the idea but would rather it stay a fantasy. Trying to coerce her in to it is not a good idea really because she will think you want a threesome more than you want her

[April]

I agree. You said what I was thinking... just couldn't spit those words out! Some things are better being a fantasy.

[kevin-camron]

well a 3some is a good idea, but then why don't you try swing clubs for better results?

[Anonymous]

What did you do for her?