I've always said there are two sides to a coin, especially when it comes to relationships.
For guys (and girls) it is natural for us to question our partners motives. It's not jealousy...it's the fear of being unsure if your partner will do the same thing again and cheat on you. That's what is most damaging. For many people the 'purity' of a person is important in a relationship because to some people purity to denotes sincerity and loyalty. When a person has more than a few sexual partners, it is sincerity and loyalty we question. That said some people disagree with this and say that having threesomes is great, and such is to do with experience. I say that's a load of balls. You can be inexperienced and still bring pleasure to your partner if you're confident enough. It's more likely others inability to hold onto their pants, and their idea of using 'experience' as an excuse for their actions.
The only way you're gonna find out if this girl is suitable for you eventually is if you ask her would she ever do something like that again if it ever came up. Honesty and openness in each others sexual appetite is the key here. To get out of your state of unhappiness you may need to talk to her and see what tickles your fancy that brings you both together - ie. playing with costumes, toys etc. It depends what you your definition of 'happiness' and 'contentment' is. You can have the minimal of things and still be content with your sex life.1 0 0 0I would never date a girl that did that, so you're not alone. I don't know why she let you know in such detail, that waasnt really a smart move. I don't think that it will ever stop bothering, and you can't change her past, so you ought to just look for someone who is more suited to what you want
1 5 1 1I asked her for more detail- I didn't really want to know but I couldn't help myself- what if I want to stay with her and to try and let this blow over? I'm quite sure she might be up for it again but I was never THAT keen until all of this...as above questions- if we tried somthing for fun it may be out of my system but what about her- when you love someone the intimacy matters! otherwise it woldn't be an issue would it!! I could just cast her aside and go for it- she's opened a door that should
Well I get what you mean about wanting more detail, you have to know even if its going to hurt. I also think that doing this again might be fun for you, but it will ultimately weaken your relationship and may affect how a woman feels about you somewhere down the line, and you can't use double standards like that
Why does it hurt though? sex and sh*t like that is supposed to be something you do for pleasure so why is it affecting me in a serious way when its about such an unserious matter? I think it hurts because I never had such a strong impulse to do something like that but now? somethings changed mentally and I really don't give a sh*t about work or anything because I'm so glum about being confused- maybe I feel held back? maybe I'm jealous and being a kid? keep going guys and thanks
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It is jealousy. The fact is this opportunity does not happen to many people. I am one of few that have had a threesome. This was also while I was not in a relationship. The fact is if a woman cares for someone she will not offer that because she wants you to herself. So be appreciative that she loves you. You can't be mad at her for something that is in her past. Get over the fact that you haven't had the experience or leave her because these feelings are highly unlikely to go away completely. It will always be in the back of your head. If she wants to compromise maybe she can be with another girl and you can watch. Maybe that will satisfy this problem that you have.
0 0 0 1That would definitely not help anyway because it would just make me even more frustrated seeing her alone with another girl- its the difference between reality and fantasy- if it ever was to happen I wouldn't want anybody but her doing anything intimate towards me- see this is the problem I'm not willing to leave her she's too special- I would settle for her wanking me off whilst 2 girls touched a bit but NOT **** because that's only for her- the whole point of this fantasy is just intimidation
I think I can understand where you are coming from, being jelaous and that, but you NEED to put this past behind you two, otherwise your relationship could end. There is no need to debate over this matter in your head over and over again, because it happened, and you can't change the past. Think about the reasons why she CHOSE you...remind yourself what attracted her to you in the first place...reassure yourself that she is with you because she likes you. She probably lived out a fantasy, and it stopped her curiosity. This means that she did something she wanted to do, and that's it...no need to worry.
0 0 0 0You are putting way too much into something she did before you were in the picture. Many of us do things before we meet someone very special.
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2 5So, your girlfriend fulfilled your smoking-hot fantasy before she met you, and that makes you hot for her...
OK, I'm lost. Is there a problem here, somewhere?1 1 0 0Problem isn't that I have a problem with what she did, it turns me on so much because it was her- and I would only want to do similar with her- problem is she did it before- my d***s telling me to ask her to do it again- which she says she wouldn't plan that's understandable but she would let it 'just happen.'- that's annoying when you don't actually want to be the guy whos thinking like I'm thinking now! you think if I was in that situation... basically its like my d***s brainwashing me...
I'm sorry.. this probably isn't the most ethical response to give, but... I think you need to make a similiar situation happen. This is a case where I think cheating IS acceptable. Not all the time or anything, but I think you'll probably have an inferiority complex thing goin' on with her if you don't. If you were fully resolved, that would be one thing... but it seems like you have some freaky deaky you need to get out of your system, and now would probably be the best time to get 'er done.
1 1 1 2I'm sorry, but I don't think cheating is acceptable in any case.
Obviously you are not exposed to very many Dicks and this is where the problem may lie is in the subconsious mind. Where you have no way of knowing just how big of a stud this bloke was?
1 0 0 1Dude don't feel bad this is why you should never talk about one another's pasts. If its going to eat you up then break up with her instead of trying to make things work trust me its better in the long run. I would NEVER be able to get that image out of my head. You're a man she's a slut end of story.
1 0 1 0honestly this girls sounds abit loose. if your looking for something fun then she sounds good, but if your looking for somehting serious, then I suggest leaving
0 0 1 0okay the fantasies you are having are totally normal.She was involved in something most guys could only hope that they would experience.But did you ever think she told you for a reason? I mean all I know is she is either trying to get you hot or maybe is wanting to do something like that again and wants to see your reaction.Girls don't reveal that kinda stuff without their being a reson behind it
1 0 0 0Sounds like you met your match, maybe she can teach you...
1 2 0 1Have stayed shut!
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