Is my girlfriend bi/gay?

[Anonymous]

So last week I found pictures of my girlfriend and her best friend (female) taking pictures of themselves bending over, showing their vaginas, and another pictures with there shirts down and their breasts touching. I confronted her and she claims that in no way did they get turned on. She said that is how they joke around and that they never do it when I am not around. At the time of the pictures they were in the bathroom of a friend's place while I was in the living room. She stands by what she said and tells me she had no bad intentions and it was just playing around. Now, I am an open minded person but this isn't the first lesbianish thing she has done. When we started dating about 8 months ago we were hanging out at her house and I heard her kissing that same friend in her room with the lights off. I confronted her and she told me she wasn't gay. That it was just a way of showing her affection. A few weeks later her friend dropped her off outside my house and my girlfriend gave her a big kiss (make out style). About two months ago we went to a strip club and my girlfriend told me that when I went to the bathroom her friend made out with her for a few seconds. On top of that my girlfriend has told me that her best friend's boyfriend is paranoid of her liking girls. Why would he think that? And a friend of mine who has known my girlfriend longer than I have has told me he always thought she was bi. AND...we were watching V for Vendetta once and my girlfriend told me her favorite part was the story about the two lesbians. AND...my friend told me that girls have asked him if my girlfriend and her friend are gay. Am I just being paranoid or should I not worry? She says if she were gay she would say it but when I asked her what her mom thinks she said her mom would die. Maybe she is too afraid to come out of the closet? She has also told me she prefers to dance with girls than men. What should I do? When I saw the pictures I broke up with her but took her back. Is she gay? I need some advice from you girls. Cause I do not know of many girls who act the way they do.

[AnonymouslyKnown]

Echoing every male in existence: Stop complaining about this and ENCOURAGE IT!

That said, culture is a funny thing (I am going somewhere with this, just hang with me). Men compete with other men for the attention of women by their looks (partially), their attitude (again partially), and status (money, attention, etc etc). They all have something to do with it, but emphasis isn't on just one of these things.

Now on the other hand, women generally compete for the attention of men with their looks, their attitude, and their sexuality. It's considered extremely hot (for men at least), to see two girls engaging in some kind of sexual behavior, and even if a woman has no interest in other women-she may engage in the activity just to get the attention of men. Hell, if you're in college chances are 95% of every woman there has engaged in some kind of same sex act, if only mildly making out.

Though research has shown that almost everyone is at least some degree bisexual (Kinsley scale, look it up), chances are that has nothing to do with it. At least, that's what I'd say because of the photos involved.

[Asker]

They didn't want me to look at the pictures so obviously it wasn't to get attention. same when they were making out, they did it on their own.

[markml]

Yes, this very definitely might be true.

See: link

I honestly don't know why males encourage this behavior, like it's no big deal. A girl making out with another girl is no different than a girl making out with a guy, regardless of what a girl says her orientation is.

I don't see why if a girl gets freaky with a lot of guys, that makes her a slut, but she gets a free pass if she's doing the same thing with other women.

Bottom-line is that it doesn't matter whether she's bisexual or not. If she's in a monogamous relationship with you, she needs to behave that way and not cross barriers with friends, whether they're male or female. I'm not saying that you should make her ditch her best friend, and I wouldn't suggest that even if the friend were a guy. I'm also not saying that just taking those pictures in itself crosses any line.

But you have a right to set that line when it comes to promiscuity, and if I were you, I'd make the line gender blind. Don't go overly jealous, just make rules about what you're comfortable with.

[Asker]

I completely agree with you. I told her that cheating is cheating no matter the gender.

[Anonymous]

A totally straight female would not engage in these activities, however, whether or not being "straight" is "normal" is a ridiculous presumption. What is normal anyway? Do ALL females have to like penises exclusively to be normal? I think that is a pretty abnormal expectation to have. So did the Founding Fathers, apparently, since the "d*** clause" was not written into the US Constitution...

What was written into that great document was :

"We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness."

I think your girlfriend is pursuing her happiness...

[Asker]

No problem.i do not think being gay is a wrong thing. if she is I just wish she would come clean.

[Honey18]

Just because girls make out and all that doesn't mean they are bisexual. I'd be willing to say that just about ever girl you have ever talked to has most likely made out with one of their friends before. Some girls actually do joke around like that, personally I would get turned on by some of that lol. But I am bisexual and I know it. If she tells you they were just messing around then they most likely were. Girls kissing other girls is normal. Girls are curious and sometimes they do it so that they can "learn to kiss".. They are most likely just best friends.. But who knows, you could just be a lucky guy lol..

[Asker]

We are all 23 years old. they aren't kissing to learn how to kiss. doing what they do in a bathroom or a dark room when they're by themselves isn't even being done to get attention. it seems very homoerotic to me.

[Honey18]

Around that age is when most girls start trying more sexual stuff with the opposite sex. It doesn't mean they are bisexual unless they are in fact getting arroused by it. It she says she isn't then she isn't bisexual.

[Happyfeet]

Dude, your girlfriend is way gay! I have friends(girls), and I would never ever make-out with them or take nude shots with them. That's just gay beyond all words. In the least, I agree with everyone else, she's a cheater and she's gay! Hm...it seems like you're most worried about her being a lesbian, when you should be more worried about her cheating on you, which by the way you let her get away with. And seriously all the signs of her being gay are layed out in front of you. Anyways, ditch her before she hurts you anymore or confuses you any further. Good luck!

[Asker]

I have no issue with her being bi , just as long as she doesn't act out on it.

[Happyfeet]

Well obviously she is acting on her bisexual feelings for her friend while you two are in a relationship. So, why stay with her?

[Asker]

You're right...after we talked about it she told me it would be a stupid think to break up with her for. but not true right? it's a legit reason

[Asker]

Also, they were both drunk..but that doesn't make it right either, right?

[Happyfeet]

Duh!!! You know the answer to all this nonsense, but just don't want to admit it. She's a cheater, enough said.

[myths]

I've known chicks like this- It's certainly worrisome as far as I was concerned! I mean if she's willing to take pics of her and her friend's genitals, where does she draw the line you know? It's like if I wanted a girl who was all about showing off her naked body to other people , Iwould have dated a stripper!

[Asker]

Good point., where does she draw the line. told her I had no problem with her being bi just as long as she doesn't act out on it but she denies being bi. she does have.

[Butterfly_kisses09]

Wow. I think it's pretty safe to say that the evidence speaks for itself. She may not be lesbo but it sure sounds like she's bi. If you want to believe her then by all means go ahead. But making out with a girl friend while the lights are off is not exactly my idea of "showing affection". Personally I think she's lying but that's just my opinion.

[Jarett]

Lol why are you complaining again?

[Asker]

You're an idiot

[-smilewhore]

she cheats on you... its simple. she makes out with girls that's cheating. if that is just there way of being friendly I need to get me friends like that.

[Asker]

What's your opinion on the pictures? even if she says it was innocent fun, it seems like those things lesbians do before they know they're lesbians

[-smilewhore]

I am bi and for my self I have never taken photos like that. but I do know of girls who have. and there are two explanations 1) your girlfriend is bi/lesbian/undecided so she took up an opportunity with a friend. 2) they are into each other and and want each other. or really there is a number three but if she never wanted you to know then its out, that being she wanted to turn you on. I think you should have a real talk. and if she can't be serous leave her.

[Asker]

Also, they were both drunk..but that doesn't make it right either, right?

[-smilewhore]

You keep making up reasons. bloody stay with her if you really want to. but there is no justifying cheating on some one more then three times. drunk or not drunk its bs

[Asker]

The night it happened my girlfriend took her friend by the hand to the bathroom and they were there for about 10 minutes. I didn't think anything of it. I told her it was even worse because I was there

[-smilewhore]

Just dump her she obv is only using you as a cover

[Xenophobia]

you should have asked for a threesome.

[Asker]

I am not looking for a threesome!!!!

[soulfulleyes]

no but sometimes I wonder that too.. sometimes it seems like every girl in the world is turning either bi or gay..

[darkknight1x]

Well its hard to tell for sure if she is bi. If she was a lesbian she wouldn't be back with you. I know a girl who says she loves to make out with women because she says its way more fun but, she says it doesn't turn her on. Which to me is understandable because I guess to her its like playing video games. Playing video games is fun but, its not a turn on.

[Asker]

Thanks. but playing video games is part of a relationship. doing sexual things is. if she es engaging in sexual behavior with another person from the same sex...that's totally different

[askanythingxo]

this dosnt make her bisexual, not all girls are, but its just more common for two girls to kiss than guys, I don't know why lol. a lot of girls are bi curious, like me and my friends joke around, but not like that.. lol. but just cause she does joke around like that dosnt make her bisexual, I think she'd tell you if she was anyways. I wouldn't worry too much about itt.

[GeoffreyCrayon]

It's very possible she and the girl are both in the closet and are trying to brush it off but at the same time she's kinda trying to let you know without overtly saying it because she wants to be out but she's too scared to come out for whatever reason. Id say just decide now if you want to be her cove or not and whichever way it is, let her know (if you truly care for her and could handle her being a lesbian) that you only want her to be happy and that you support her being whoever she really is whether that's gay or bi or straight or pan or whatever. It sounds a lot like she's just afraid/ashamed to come out and that she's worried of losing friends and having no support. She needs security from someone that not everyone's gunna hate her if she comes out and effects people with the truth.

[Kass1964]

She sounds pretty gay.

And if I were you, I wouldn't stay with her. Whether she's gay or not she shouldn't be going around kissing girls. If she's with you, she should only make out with you. But that's just me.

Anyways, I hope things work out for you.

[Asker]

She says that the time I heard her making out with her friend was way before we even got together. but what do you think about the pictures?

[Kass1964]

The pictures are really gay too. I would never ever take pictures of myself naked with my friend. Talk about gay. I think some girls kiss (only kiss not make out) their friends for fun or whatever and aren't gay. But ur girlfriend goes way too far. Sorry to say it, but she's gay.

[Cherrylipsss]

Now see me abd my bff do things to show our affection, like kiss on the cheek, biting each other nose kisses that sort of thing but its only in the cutsy sort of way! But that's normal, the way your girlfriend acts is not. I think she's bi.

[missmay]

they probably were just having fun...but me personaally I don't see how it is,whats the point in taking those types of pictures and knowing there is a risk the pics could get out, Your a perfect examplebut I guess that's how some girls have fun when their drunk ... but it's either that or they're both in-the-closet lesbians. Anywayz I don't think there's anything wrong with her but like you said she was drunk, and like she said she was just having fun so I would just take her word for it .

[Anonymous]

Dude... this is awesome. Don't complain, bust out the camera and make internet fortunes.

[Asker]

You're an idiot too

[Anonymous]

No not all girls are bisexual, but your girlfriend sounds like she is.

[Anonymous]

i don't know if she is gay. she might be bi. but the important thing is, are you jealous or uncomfortable with this in anyway? if you are, then you need to have a serious conversation with her. and you also need to consider whether you think it is cheating on you or not. I don't want to break you two up. but you need to decide how much these things nother you so you know if you can make this work.

[Anonymous]

I think she's seriously confused I don't know any best friends who show their affection like that. That's really not normal if you claim to be completely straight. Also being drunk obbviously has nothing to do with it if it keeps happening. Sorry, hope it all works out.