Is my girlfriend bi/gay?

So last week I found pictures of my girlfriend and her best friend (female) taking pictures of themselves bending over, showing their vaginas, and another pictures with there shirts down and their breasts touching. I confronted her and she claims that in no way did they get turned on. She said that is how they joke around and that they never do it when I am not around. At the time of the pictures they were in the bathroom of a friend's place while I was in the living room. She stands by what she said and tells me she had no bad intentions and it was just playing around.

Now, I am an open minded person but this isn't the first lesbianish thing she has done. When we started dating about 8 months ago we were hanging out at her house and I heard her kissing that same friend in her room with the lights off. I confronted her and she told me she wasn't gay. That it was just a way of showing her affection.

A few weeks later her friend dropped her off outside my house and my girlfriend gave her a big kiss (make out style). About two months ago we went to a strip club and my girlfriend told me that when I went to the bathroom her friend made out with her for a few seconds.

On top of that my girlfriend has told me that her best friend's boyfriend is paranoid of her liking girls. Why would he think that? And a friend of mine who has known my girlfriend longer than I have has told me he always thought she was bi. AND...we were watching V for Vendetta once and my girlfriend told me her favorite part was the story about the two lesbians.

AND...my friend told me that girls have asked him if my girlfriend and her friend are gay.

Am I just being paranoid or should I not worry? She says if she were gay she would say it but when I asked her what her mom thinks she said her mom would die. Maybe she is too afraid to come out of the closet? She has also told me she prefers to dance with girls than men.

What should I do? When I saw the pictures I broke up with her but took her back. Is she gay? I need some advice from you girls. Cause I do not know of many girls who act the way they do.

Updates:
The night of the pictures we were all drinking and they were pretty drunk. My girlfriend grabbed her friend's hand and they went to the bathroom for around 10 minutes.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Dude, your girlfriend is way gay! I have friends(girls), and I would never ever make-out with them or take nude shots with them. That's just gay beyond all words. In the least, I agree with everyone else, she's a cheater and she's gay! Hm...it seems like you're most worried about her being a lesbian, when you should be more worried about her cheating on you, which by the way you let her get away with. And seriously all the signs of her being gay are layed out in front of you. Anyways, ditch her before she hurts you anymore or confuses you any further. Good luck!

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    • I have no issue with her being bi , just as long as she doesn't act out on it.

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    • Also, they were both drunk..but that doesn't make it right either, right?

    • Duh!!! You know the answer to all this nonsense, but just don't want to admit it. She's a cheater, enough said.

What Girls Said 12

  • Just because girls make out and all that doesn't mean they are bisexual. I'd be willing to say that just about ever girl you have ever talked to has most likely made out with one of their friends before. Some girls actually do joke around like that, personally I would get turned on by some of that lol. But I am bisexual and I know it. If she tells you they were just messing around then they most likely were. Girls kissing other girls is normal. Girls are curious and sometimes they do it so that they can "learn to kiss".. They are most likely just best friends.. But who knows, you could just be a lucky guy lol..

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    • We are all 23 years old. they aren't kissing to learn how to kiss. doing what they do in a bathroom or a dark room when they're by themselves isn't even being done to get attention. it seems very homoerotic to me.

    • Around that age is when most girls start trying more sexual stuff with the opposite sex. It doesn't mean they are bisexual unless they are in fact getting arroused by it. It she says she isn't then she isn't bisexual.

  • no but sometimes I wonder that too.. sometimes it seems like every girl in the world is turning either bi or gay..

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  • Wow. I think it's pretty safe to say that the evidence speaks for itself. She may not be lesbo but it sure sounds like she's bi. If you want to believe her then by all means go ahead. But making out with a girl friend while the lights are off is not exactly my idea of "showing affection". Personally I think she's lying but that's just my opinion.

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  • she cheats on you... its simple. she makes out with girls that's cheating. if that is just there way of being friendly I need to get me friends like that.

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    • What's your opinion on the pictures? even if she says it was innocent fun, it seems like those things lesbians do before they know they're lesbians

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    • The night it happened my girlfriend took her friend by the hand to the bathroom and they were there for about 10 minutes. I didn't think anything of it. I told her it was even worse because I was there

    • Just dump her she obv is only using you as a cover

  • this dosnt make her bisexual, not all girls are, but its just more common for two girls to kiss than guys, I don't know why lol. a lot of girls are bi curious, like me and my friends joke around, but not like that.. lol. but just cause she does joke around like that dosnt make her bisexual, I think she'd tell you if she was anyways. I wouldn't worry too much about itt.

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What Guys Said 9

  • Yes, this very definitely might be true.

    See: link

    I honestly don't know why males encourage this behavior, like it's no big deal. A girl making out with another girl is no different than a girl making out with a guy, regardless of what a girl says her orientation is.

    I don't see why if a girl gets freaky with a lot of guys, that makes her a slut, but she gets a free pass if she's doing the same thing with other women.

    Bottom-line is that it doesn't matter whether she's bisexual or not. If she's in a monogamous relationship with you, she needs to behave that way and not cross barriers with friends, whether they're male or female. I'm not saying that you should make her ditch her best friend, and I wouldn't suggest that even if the friend were a guy. I'm also not saying that just taking those pictures in itself crosses any line.

    But you have a right to set that line when it comes to promiscuity, and if I were you, I'd make the line gender blind. Don't go overly jealous, just make rules about what you're comfortable with.

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    • I completely agree with you. I told her that cheating is cheating no matter the gender.

  • I've known chicks like this- It's certainly worrisome as far as I was concerned! I mean if she's willing to take pics of her and her friend's genitals, where does she draw the line you know? It's like if I wanted a girl who was all about showing off her naked body to other people , Iwould have dated a stripper!

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    • Good point., where does she draw the line. told her I had no problem with her being bi just as long as she doesn't act out on it but she denies being bi. she does have.

  • Echoing every male in existence: Stop complaining about this and ENCOURAGE IT!

    That said, culture is a funny thing (I am going somewhere with this, just hang with me). Men compete with other men for the attention of women by their looks (partially), their attitude (again partially), and status (money, attention, etc etc). They all have something to do with it, but emphasis isn't on just one of these things.

    Now on the other hand, women generally compete for the attention of men with their looks, their attitude, and their sexuality. It's considered extremely hot (for men at least), to see two girls engaging in some kind of sexual behavior, and even if a woman has no interest in other women-she may engage in the activity just to get the attention of men. Hell, if you're in college chances are 95% of every woman there has engaged in some kind of same sex act, if only mildly making out.

    Though research has shown that almost everyone is at least some degree bisexual (Kinsley scale, look it up), chances are that has nothing to do with it. At least, that's what I'd say because of the photos involved.

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    • They didn't want me to look at the pictures so obviously it wasn't to get attention. same when they were making out, they did it on their own.

  • Lol why are you complaining again?

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  • Well its hard to tell for sure if she is bi. If she was a lesbian she wouldn't be back with you. I know a girl who says she loves to make out with women because she says its way more fun but, she says it doesn't turn her on. Which to me is understandable because I guess to her its like playing video games. Playing video games is fun but, its not a turn on.

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    • Thanks. but playing video games is part of a relationship. doing sexual things is. if she es engaging in sexual behavior with another person from the same sex...that's totally different

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