I got my STD test results back. Should I tell my ex?

Question

I don't really think he deserves to know. He cheated on me last year. He also contracted an STI a couple years ago when we first starting dating and continues to blame it on me even though my results were clean and I was checked by several doctors, one of which checked him, and all confirmed I didn't give it to him. He made SEVERAL dating profiles while we were together and overall just treated me like dirt, never even took me on a date. He made another dating profile a few weeks ago and I just couldn't take it anymore so I left. But before the relationship was over, he started accusing me of giving him an STD because he had like 3 or 4 bumps on his penis shaft. He won't go get tested, though, because he said his job doesn't allow off time (insert appropriate 'bullshit' here) and he doesn't have insurance (this is a person who makes $1,600 bi-weekly and has over $50,000 in savings).

I finally got my test results back and they were completely clean. Again. I'm not shocked. I've never cheated on him so of COURSE I wouldn't have anything. BUT I did tell him like a few days before we broke up that I'd tell him my results but at this point I just feel like he flat out doesn't even deserve to know. I haven't spoken to him since May 30th and I want to keep it that way but I'm also not someone who goes back on my word.

None of my friends think I should tell him. He and I don't have mutual friends, either. He never introduced me to his friends, family, or co-workers.

Walrus_au · Accepted Answer

If your results had shown something, I might have said that two wrongs don't make a right, and you have a moral obligation to inform him.

However, you being clean simply proves he didn't get whatever he has from you, which proves it wasn't just you he was sleeping with. I hardly think he needs you to tell him that, And you certainly have no obligation to tell him you didn't give him anything. So if you don't want to, by all means, don't.

That said, if you feel you will get some vindication by telling him, then do it however you feel most justified. But not because you have any moral or ethical requirement. You'd be doing it for yourself, and there is nothing wrong with that.

On a related note - good for you for giving him the boot.

matchrestore · Accepted Answer

No. If the test came back positive for something that he didn't already know about, you should tell him- regardless of your opinions about him. With a clean test, there is no information he needs there.

Kacik · Accepted Answer

dont tell him if you are healthy... there´s no point... llet him sweat in his juices, let him go through the procedures and waiting for results, let him pay for it... If you had unprotected sex, he might think he must have given it to you if he was ill, therefore he must be heatlhy also... That might not be true... and he would not get tested and would infect others...

Tdieseler · Answer

... ain't rocket science... dump that cunt. or what? are you sticking around for the money? what? you live together? you don't work?
you can always wait to contract what he has... then you guys can be bonded in Venereal Heaven together.
I'd frickin tell em... then put up deuces... BYE.
can't believe you are still sticking around...

thatttguy · Answer

Not worth your time.

Intraluminal · Answer

Better yet, tell him your doctor's putting you on antiretrovirals but it's just a precaution.

Caaarl · Answer

I mean he probably would deny that as well. Until he saw the paper himself.

jacquesvol · Answer

Your test results were completely clean. No reason to inform your ex. Forget the guy and move on.

UltraGamer · Answer

I'd tell him that its positive because that's what he deserves, he cheated and tricked you countless times so why not do it back? Plus at least then he might go and get tested but by the time that happens you'll be long gone away to hear his b. s.