How Can You Tell If Someone Has Been Raped?

[Anonymous]

A close friend of mine has been acting unusual lately. Like she was like the outgoing spontaneous boy-crazy girl...Now she gets angry when try to talk to her about this or that boy she used to have an interest in she just cuts me off. Then as I noticed she looked like she wasn't getting sleep and asked her what was wrong and why has she been acting like this lately. I asked her to just talk to me. She blew up on me and screamed that nothing was wrong and to leave her alone. She was crying and left. I'm scared and I don't know what to think. I've seen Lifetime movies about stuff like this and I noticed things that seemed familiar with her. I don't want to think its true but I need some feedback on signs that it has happened and how I can talk to her.

[ShesMygirl]

Has she changed the way she dresses in the same time frame?

If she went from provocitive or form fitting, to baggy or less revealing outfits on top of what you alreay said...yeah...then I would tend to think she may have at least been attacked.

Look...just tell her you know something is wrong, and you are worried about her. Let her know she can talk to you when she is ready. Tell her you miss your friend and you really want her back. Give her a few days...if she hasn't talked to you by then...try the direct approach. I couldn't tell you how to ask, but there isn't really anything else I can suggest.

If you can get her talking, first remember that if it did happen...right now she will need you to just listen. Don't tell her what she needs to do. Just listen. Let her ask when she is ready, what you think. You might want to do a bit of research. Have a list of numbers...the first should be a rape crisis line or center. When she asks, what she should do, you call it. Tell them what happened, and ask them what she should do. You will be taking the weight of dealing with it off her by doing this. Do what you can, but she has to be ready before you can start doing.

You might want to call a center and ask them for advice as well. They deal with this all the time so they will be better at helping you help her.

Good luck...it's not easy...I had a girlfriend who was raped

Hope this helps

[Asker]

I'm sorry to hear that.....That shouldn't happen to anybody. My friend has started wearing jeans more than skirts or shorts like she used to. And I really appreciate your help I'll try to talk to her like you said. Thank you so much.

[whatnow417]

You could aproach her in a public place and quietly and start talking to her, the reason in a public place, she probably won't freak out so she doesn't embarsse her self and tell her that yourv worried about her and want to help her get through what ever she is going through. If you can ask her straight up if she has been raped, see how she reacts and how she answers. If she is avoiding eye contact, angry, or is going to great depths to deffend herself then she probably has been. If you can tell if she is lying out not, stop talking about it for a bit and walk around to people she knows, if she acts differently with them than usual, she may have been raped.

I wish you luck with this and I really hope she hasn't been raped, you may want to try to hang out with her and make sure she is not alone for long because if she was raped she may be traumatized and try to hurt, or even kill herself, that wouldn't be to crazy to think she would do that. Remember that if you find anything out, either that she was raped or she may hurt herself, you should get help from an adult thst she trusts

Good luck

[Asker]

Yeah that sounds like a good idea. Maybe other people she knows have seen a change in her too. I just hope its not rape...i can't imagine anybody going throught that. I don't think I know any adult she trust but I'll try to find one.

[Louise123]

It does sound like something is very wrong. You just say.. " I am concerned that something is wrong and I am worried about you. Is there something you want to talk about? You can trust me and I will listen to you. Please let me help you and tell me what the problem is." I don't know if she's been raped - it could also be that she might think she's pregnant. If she tells you - shares a confidence with you - keep it to yourself.. UNLESS she has put herself in danger or IS pregnant... you need to encourage her to talk to her parents.. If it was rape ( I doubt it really) then the guy can be prosecuted. If she's pregnant, she needs help NOW. If she's not sure? A pregnancy test can be bought at the drugstore. Be calm when you talk to her.. and tell her that you are on HER side...She needs to talk to somebody and you are a very good friend to care so much. .. Good luck, Sweetie.

[Asker]

It could be a possiblility as well...I know its a scary thing to be pregnant as a teen but I would say its better than the other.

[dragonfly6516]

Has she recently been in any situations where a rape could occur? A party, out alone in a bad area? Alone with a crush?

[Asker]

We always go to parties together and we always look after each other. She had been talking about this guy for the longest time and she would never tell me his name and I've never met him. Which is strange because she tells me about every guy and I've met all of them.