Pain & Torture During Sex?

[meow10]

I just got home from this guys place, we just met a few days ago and when we went back to his place from 4x4 we were 'fooling around'. I told him to slap me, spank me, etc. I pretty much look wrecked; I got cuts all over my back, hickeys from the neck to my toes, and my boobs and butt is all red and swollen. I am just wondering if this is normal. He thought it was 'awesome' & 'hot' but he never had a girl that was into this type of stuff. What do you think about this?

[ShesMygirl]

There is a HUGE community of people exploring the freak within.

Look here are my concerns.

1 Before you do something like this your partner needs to know.

2 Safety safety safety. If you are experimenting, you better have a safe word...it means STOP

If you partner isn't OK with that, run...don't walk.

3 When it's someone you really don't know you need a call back. This is a friend who knows about your fetish, and will call you in an hour or two. This friend will also know where you are.

Look...you really need to learn a bit about the road you are headed down. Google fetlife. Do some reading. If you don't you could end up badly hurt or worse. This isn't some uneducated fool talking. I have been around the lifestyle for a lot of years.

It's OK to explore...it's NOT OK to do so blind.

[selfishstars]

Yay fetlife! :D

[Anonymous]

It's hot when a girl likes that, although I'd draw the limit at serious bruises or anything that could leave a permanent mark, because...

A) I want to keep your body looking nice, and B) I'd probably get freaked out if I found myself enjoying the violence that much.

Other than that, it's sounds like wholesome fun.

[Opinion Owner]

To answer the guys who are objecting to this, if the guy also knows how to be gentle with you, then you're good. If either him or you can only appreciate violent/rough sex then you might have a problem.

[Simple-Simonette]

For some women it takes a little time to be uninhibited enough to express their inner freak. With the type of rough play you're talking about, a lot of women have to feel their partner is trustworthy. Which takes time. For you, it didn't.

Not abnormal. Most women just don't discuss bedroom antics openly. You'd be surprised what goes on behind closed doors of the average woman, lol.

[Beckat]

I have some friends that are really into BDSM. Not really my thing, I'm more of a light bondage person. But if you're fine with in and he's fine with it, have fun and play safe. It's not weird, just different. And it doesn't mean you have any emotional issues, you just find the pleasure in the pain.

[Jiffy]

Slappers, kiinky stuff! I hope you tortured him a bit too..

[l-hedoniste]

You're happy, he's happy--rock on.

[Cartiphilus]

I think yoiu're absolutely CRAZY to ask a stranger to engage in this form of sado-masochism. You don't know if he's a f***ing psycho or not who will go too far and KILL you! You're just damn luck he didn't. I must agree with Jarett. You need therapy.

[Jarett]

Not my cup of tea. Too weird for me. Makes it seem like you have emotional issues stemming from something in your childhood.

[Kass1964]

Weird.