So what do guys think of girls who wait until marriage?

I have a boyfriend, I'm a virgin but I'm planning to wait 'til marriage.


Most Helpful Guy

  • Though you can feel free to take the stance you are in, I will tell you that I feel it is a very poor idea and wouldn't get involved in a woman who felt this way without any willingness to debate the merit of it. The fact of the matter is that, in a fully developed relationship, sex is a big component. Not 50+%, not even the biggest component. But when something makes up a significant portion of the entire purpose of your relationship (along with friendship, companionship, someone to trust, social merits, someone to help you make sure you match, etc), and sex is a very important component of a full relationship, you want to make sure it is compatible.

    Think of it this way. You can truly feel in love with someone who you cannot quite trust with your deep inner thoughts. You can have the most amazing life together ever, but you just don't feel comfortable telling them what going on deep inside your head and never do. (or vice versa and they don't tell you that stuff). Everything else is wonderful, but you just never connect on that deep level. The chemistry is fine, you adore each other, but you never understand each other on more than a superficial level. In time what you think is a minor flaw turns out to be something that drive you crazy about them and breaks the relationship. Its the same thing. Sex is a component of passion, you cna have plenty of passion without it, but if the sex itself doesn't mesh well between you two, you'll be married once you find this out. And it will drive you insane because it will be a very large gap in a very central part of your relationship and you won't be able to move beyond that mismatch. Likely it will lead to divorce or constantly wondering how much better everyone else could be.

    Even if you were a fantastic sexual match, you may end up always wondering if it could be better because you haven't ever experienced anything else. Trust me when I say, it never happens the other way (where you have subpar and assume that is the best it gets) while doubting the supremacy of something great happens way too frequently for my liking and leads to too much resentment and cheating.

    Now I've been with ladies whom I haven't slept with for well over a year of dating (and a few who I got into bed with comparatively quickly). Its all about making sure when you do have sex, you've thought about it and decided its correct. But I truly believe that for a relationship to be fully developed sex must eventually be explored together. Take your time and find when you feel right crossing that road, but avoiding it til marraige seems very foolhardy. It is a vital part of your relationship and, from experience, CANNOT be intuited from other things. Your sexual chemistry is wholly independent of how he kisses and dances. My opinion: If you respect marriage, you will not gamble with a future marriage by going in with a gigantic question mark hanging over its viability due to unknown sexual compatability. Its not something easily worked past

    • You do have a good point about the sexual compatibility but there are a lot of things you can do to work through it: sex classes, male enhancement pills, talking about what you like and don't like. I don't think sex has to be apart of every relationship but whatever that's your opinion. Thanks for commenting :)

    • Haha well unless you mean viagra/cialis/levitra, there is no such thing as male enhancement pills. But more importantly, I mean that certain people may be great at the mechanics of sex, but just not enjoy it with each other. I've been with people who I *know* are very good at what their doing and would please someone else, but I just couldn't move right with them... so to speak.

      Relationship sex councilling has one of the lowest rates of success of any relationship counceling program.

    • Eh whatever that's your opinion :)

What Guys Said 9

  • (just an add on to my comment on my last comment cause it didn't give me enough words).

    That councilling is actually not recommended by (at least) my psychiatry professor in medical school because he feels that its that ineffective.

    Now there is A LOT of good that can come from talking stuff out. That is totally a legit point and works with two open minded people (which you should be). But I just wouldn't feel comfortable not knowing if I'll need to sit down and discuss waht works and doesn't work for me. Especially since I am, personally, of the mindset that sex is vital to a healthy relationship. I wouldn't want to have to worry about having such a conversation especially if it might not work. Its all quite complicated, honestly. haha. Knowing plain and simple if you're compatable is so much weight off my shoulders in my book.

  • I think there aren't enough women like you.

    • Is that a good thing

    • Way better than a good thing! :)

    • Haha thanks :)

  • It depends on maturity and planning for the future. But sexual validation of a young man is essential. I would draw the line at intercourse (no anal either) but engage in an active oral and manual sex relationship. Leave penetration as the consummation of marriage. The skills and responses you develop together will make that first time a good one.

  • It always struck me as a really bad idea. If you're going to be sexually exclusive with one person, it seems wise to have an idea as to what you're getting into. What if you like completely different things? What if he (or you!) discover you have some fetish that really freaks the other person out?

    Wouldn't you agree that getting married, discovering you're not sexually compatible, and then getting a divorce undermines the sanctity of marriage? ;)

  • The Bible, if you read it fully and carefully, advises against marriage, in no uncertain terms. It will not avail you.

    So, I prefer girls who wait until they can wait no more.

    • What? further explain (msg me) please and thanks :)

    • Come now Mary, I wasn't born yesterday.

  • I wouldn't stay with her, the notion is ridiculous

  • KJ. LOL just kidding. These girls are what we called a old fashion lady which their virginity are sacred and want to give to their partner as best gift.

  • cool I have respect for women like this. tell you the truth id like this.


What Girls Said 3

  • Bad idea.

    I certainly would not marry a an or woman(if it were legal) if we had not had sex.

    You don't figure out compatibility while walking down the aisle,nor will love fix or correct incompatibility.

    To each their own.

  • awesome :) me too! I admire that!

  • me too! I've dated a male model (no I'm not kidding) and he RESPECTED that. he said it made me 'dif than every slut' he the people who are going to comment and say "yeah and you broke up"..its because he moved to europe to get better exposure.