Do guys really respect virgins?? And why do people value virginity, like who ACTUALLY values that...?

[Lucky1227]

OK so someone I was talking to was like "oh you should save your virginity for someone you care about guys will respect you more"... I mean why would anyone respect that, just wondering. And like who actually values their virginity? Like to me its not at all a good thing, its a horrible embarrassing sick thing... I WISH I would have had sex at like 15 or 16 my life would be better. So like I don't understand the value in it?

[Anonymous]

You don't realize until after it's gone that virginity is kind of a big deal. If you just give it away to some random d***** bag, you will be devastated and on top of that lose some respect for yourself. On the other hand, I can only imagine that losing it to someone you love will make it special for you despite the brief pain involved. Yes, virginity is overrated in the sense that sex is just sex. However, for your own personal well-being as a female, you should reconsider your blase attitude about it. IMO, I feel like my not being a virgin will in some way de-value my union in marriage, if I ever choose to go down that road. It will just suck knowing that there is someone out there who has also been most intimate with me and that I will never see him again. If you want my advice, I would suggest giving hand jobs and blow jobs to boyfriends (make sure they're clean of STIs) and save your vagina for marriage. Sexual experience for a girl is overrated because it's much harder to get a guy off with your hand or mouth. Those are "life skills" that you need practice learning how to do properly. In contrast, during sex, the vag is just sitting there and the penis does most of the work.

[ALittleBlondeGirl]

So girls having sex doesn't actually gain them any experience? They just take the d?

[candlewax]

Sick? There's nothing sick about being a virgin, dear. I think some guys tend to find it respectable because it tells them that the girl has a bit more respect for herself and she's not going to just hand it out to the first bidder.

So many people lose theirs at a really young age or in a way that they end up regretting later. To find people who have thought it out and aren't just tossing it out there for anyone is becoming a rarity. I think some guys find respect in something that's quickly becoming uncommon.

And fyi, there is NOTHING wrong with it to begin with. Guys/society have put this skewed outlook on it because it benefits them. OMG GET RID OF IT ASAP. YOU'RE A LOSER IF YOU DON'T! This gets girls putting out faster than they want, and the same can go for some guys, too. I don't think that people realize it til later that losing virginity can be like a rite of passage to some. Kinda like milestone birthdays, getting your license, graduating, etc. It's something you can look back on later in life and go "oh yeah, I remember when..." But that's not everyone.

As shocking as it seems, SOME people can resist peer pressure and think for themselves.

[peace-love-couture]

Virginity is neither honorable or sickening and embarrassing.

I'm 16 & a virgin,I'm certainly not ashamed of it,but I'm not proud nor do I think it defines who I am as a person.

Go ahead,have sex with whoever you want.you are right.No guy will respect you for giving them your virginity,no guy will give a damn about it,no guy will be happy you are a virgin because all guys are alike.

I myself,will wait for someone who loves me and cares about and that I trust,that way it will be a good experience.You only have it once anyways.

[Malcom_Reynolds]

Can't speak for all guys out there but me, I'm not going to respect a girl because she's a virgin, but more I may respect her for why she still is.

I will respect a girl who is still a virgin because she is still willing to say no and doesn't just cave in to peer pressure. I do however think that girls who attach a sense of pride to still being a virgin to be quite annoying and do not respect them.

I do not respect girls who are virgins because they want to save themselves for marriage. I don't condemn them for it, I view it as their decision, and they can do what they want.

I think there is way too much emphasis put on a person's status as a virgin or not a virgin. If I hear a girl is a virgin, I'm not going to care, just like if I hear she's not.

[cjwright79]

Ok, I think I see where you're coming from. Hmm... Let's say you have a diamond, and I have a diamond. Yours gets all scratched up and chipped and ends up lookig quite disreputable. I keep mine locked away and it keeps on looking marvellous. Your diamond may have seen a lot more action and it certainly has some saucy tales to tell. But who cares? It looks like sh*t. No one wants to look at it. It's a mockery of it's former beautiful self. So, ruin yourself, but don't expect anyone to give a monkey's holler about you in your pathetic decrepit state.

And that's my autobiography.

[Thiezz]

You seem to be rather negative and rambling most of the time. What's up with that?

[cjwright79]

I want attention is all. It would be best if you ignored me.

[bBop345]

What if the diamond only has had 1 guy as a lover? 3? Is it still as good as garbage?

[cjwright79]

Well, I don't know how you feel. How *do* you feel?

[snackeyg]

I like this example.

[bBop345]

I feel like a cubic zirconia.

[cjwright79]

Well, you are at the head of a trail right now, that leads out of the tranquil valley of childhood. It's a tough slog to get over the mountains. But there's a few sights along the way. Take your time.

[bBop345]

I'll let you know when I feel like a diamond again.

[cjwright79]

Well don't worry about me. I'm human garbage. :)

[bBop345]

You look like a diamond to me. :P

[cjwright79]

Ha. I do know kung fu...

[ILoveCefalu]

You know that you can't tell physically if someone's a virgin or not, right? It's not like people who have premarital sex grow horns or anything, so your analogy doesn't work.

[cjwright79]

Welllll.... the proof is in the pudding, as they say.

[peko22]

To be honest I waited until I turned 19 to have sex. Everyone is different. In my opinion it matters to that person and that person alone on value. I do think that people should wait until they fully understand sex and the issues that come with it. I'm glad I waited. When I had sex I knew what I was doing and understood my choice. Its up to the individual on when they are ready or not. I think saying your virginity was a horrible embarrassing sick thing is a bit much. There is nothing wrong in waiting. Do what is right for you. I've never lived my life for the popular thing to do. Why would your life be better if you had sex at 15?

[acubed25]

What happened to you to make you so stupid, shallow and just unimaginably insane? I'm a teen mom and my sister is a virgin. Your questions and concerns are so vapid and ridiculous, I am appalled that a girl like you is not only of similar ethnicity but that you even exist at all. You are a disappointment to women and your race. Get help.

[Lucky1227]

... I am a disappointment to my race.? Excuse me? You are a stereotypical black girl with a baby on your hip and you probably live in some project right? And I am the disappointment? you make ALL black girls look bad OK hunny so don't sit there and judge me, I am IN COLLEGE I live in a nice suburb with NO BABIES k thanks.

[baseballbandfreak27]

virginity is highly valuable its a sign that your pure and innocent and unwilling to cave into peer pressure and is a huge turn on, plus there is no better feeling in the world then losing your virginity to someone that you love and unfortunately some people never get to experience that

[Chanel22]

The guy who will respect you more is probably a virgin himself... The other guys won't give a rats ass about it! I lost it at 16 with my then boyfriend because it felt right, I didn't regret it at all...and we stayed together for 6 years...I was lucky to get a guy who respects me and all. But now that I'm back in the dating game, I see how easy it is for guys to just pick you up for one night and move on, which is fine if you're not a virgin. However, I would wait for a boyfriend or someone who cares for you and that will take it easy with you. If not, get a great friend whom you respect and ask him to do the honors.

[Thiezz]

I don't think it's a horrible embarrassing sick thing, but I can't say I think it has any value either.

Saving your virginity is such a retarded concept. Guess what, not having sense takes no effort at all and as such is not a commendable accomplishment.

[Thiezz]

I meant to say: "Guess what, not having sex takes no effort at all". I guess I should know better than to chat and answer at the same time.

[quantumdefender]

I think religion factors into this question, some factions believe virginity equals "purity"

and they will go crazy quoting scriptures till you feel guilty for not joining a cult.

on the other hand there is the "used baggage" issue. As most women get older, more "seasoned" some might say. Some women have kids, some out of wedlock. Some men just want female companionship, a girlfriend. And he doesn't want her attention divided between him and her kids. Which is only fair. In a perfect world, a woman only has kids AFTER marrying her true lover, but before the wedding he has her full attention. A lot of people still expect it...And fewer are willing to compromise

[ILoveCefalu]

It's your virginity, it's your decision. You can't go back in time and lose your virginity, so you're pretty much stuck being a virgin at age 19, for now. I'm guessing that you feel at odds with your peers, because you're going into your second year of college, and you can't think of too many other people that you personally know that are in your boat. But everyone is different, and whether you want to get into a meaningful relationship or have a one night stand, the important thing is that you feel comfortable with how you loose it.

[tigerguy]

being a virgin for a girl is like purity, being a virgin for a guy is embarrising

[snackeyg]

No it's not.

[tigerguy]

Sorr mate I didn't mean it like that for guys, I meant like in high school to college because you get all the other kids laughing and joking at you

[snackeyg]

Ah. Never happened to me. I guess if you don't flaunt it, then no one notices or cares.

[5kate5]

So wht your saying is a girl should stay pure for a guy and guys should fool around with everyone!! eakkh

[bBop345]

Boys' belief that women have to stay pure and they can fool around as much as they want is both selfish and unrealistic. If all these girls stay virgins, who are you having sex with then?

[tigerguy]

I didn't mean it like that, girls can sleep with whoever they want and its still cool, all I'm saying is some people see girls as pure when virgins and when a guy is their first the guy feels special to be their first

[flammabledude]

Personally I think it really depends what age you are.

In your teens its completely fine.. but older than that it starts getting kind of weird in my opinion.

[snackeyg]

Did you steal my icon? lol

[flammabledude]

Yes :P

[snackeyg]

I value mine and so do most people I tell that I still have it. Most girls think it's cute that I haven't done anything with a girl. They also say they wish they still had there's? What makes you not being a virgin would be so much better? What do you gain out of it besides some pleasure and some emotional pain most likely if you're not with the person anymore?

[snackeyg]

Also it's nice to be a first. I'd like all of my first to be the girls firsts to but the chances of that happening are very slim. Especially if my engagement lasts and I do everything with my fiance.

[Lucky1227]

Ok so you are waiting until marriage?? that's even dumber I'm sorry... you don't buy a car without test driving it first

[snackeyg]

No but she lives in FL and I live in WI so yeah it's not possible until then or close to it. Also that example sucked. Who test drives a person for sex?

[Lucky1227]

I mean I wouldn't marry someone and not have had sex with them first... if you watch sex and the city, Charlotte married Trey and didn't have sex with him until they were married and he was IMPOTENT so... yes I would NEVER marry a person before having sex with them because I cannot live my full life having bad sex

[snackeyg]

Sex isn't important to me. I could never have it and not really care.

[screamxxworks]

That was a t.v. show...

[candlewax]

Wow, you comparing this to Sex and the City tells me exactly where your views lie. Talk about out of touch with reality.

[chiefnavarro]

well I value it I don't want a girl that's been passed around. I don't share.

[bBop345]

So it's OK for you to have sex but every girl you're with must be a virgin?

[chiefnavarro]

Im a man. we hunt and kill and take what we want

[bBop345]

You're a jerk.

[Lucky1227]

Ohhh take it from me!!!!

[chiefnavarro]

I like being a jerk. it keeps the sluts away

[bBop345]

You're a slut. You know what they say, "kids of a feather flock together".

[bBop345]

*birds of a feather

[candlewax]

I thought being a jerk attracted sluts?

[kellylizzz]

lmfao. I wouldn't say that me waiting until I'm married to have sex is me valuing virginity, it's the opposite. It could be argued that it's me valuing sex. I want to have the closest, most intimate sex possible, sex that means something, sex I won't regret. That's why I'm waiting. Also, having sex, for girls anyways, comes with a lot of emotional strings and sh*t that I don't want to deal with.

[lucius46ad]

I guess I just had to say you are one unusually smart girl! Good for you.

[Chrisauntae]

@lucius46ad Fr

[pezzonovante88]

Personally, I absolutely respect girls who 'save' themselves for someone they actually care about. But, then that person has to fall under my perception of legitimate and quality. When girls sort of sleep with guys on the first or second date or who have FWB, I tend to have a significantly lower level of respect for. Girls with self-respect are respectable.

Ps. its not a turn off in the slightest if a girl is a virgin, especially in your age category. :)

[bBop345]

Are you a virgin?

[pezzonovante88]

Lol. nope. However, its been a while! ;)

[HumphreyT]

I think it's got to do with older values and also with self control. It's comforting to know a girl you are interested in having a future with has the ability to say no to other guys' advances, not just because they aren't hot or they don't meet her visual requirements, but because she wants something long term. I'm not saying having sex is bad, but girls have the ability to have any amount of sex they want much easier than guys do. I'm not opposed to a girl that isn't a virgin but less than 600

[Lucky1227]

To me its not really about self control, I mean I have had that for like 19 years... I didn't lose my virginity at like 15 or 16 like I could (should) have. I would rather not enter into my sophomore year of college and sorority life being humiliated.. I mean I guess that's just my own personal take on it but I choose not to be miserable all the time... like I am now. Don't get me wrong not EVERYTHING in my life is miserable, actually its a lot better recently then its been in a while but still

[5kate5]

i personally think staying a virgin is sweet for a guy and girl both.

so my ans is I do.

[Anonymous]

your virginity is so much more than you realize. once you loose it you can never get it back! refering to your virginity as "a horrible embarrassing sick thing' is sick in itself

[Anonymous]

there is nothing sick about it! I think these days virginity is not as important as it was in the old days. someone on here said that it is weird when someone is older and is still a virgin. I agree. If a girl or guy was like say 25 and still a virgin Id think there is something wrong with them. But I think its wrong of you to wish you lost urs at 15-16, that's way too early. You should only lose it to someone you love or you will regret it forever, especially when you finally fall in love with someone and wish that they were your first.