How can I teach my husband to be rougher in bed?
I'm 25 and married.. My husband and I have been together for 6 years and we have a great marriage! I'm very attracted to him, but sex with him is just not doing it for me. He's very attentive and gentle during sex, but I would like for him to be more aggressive and like calls me names, talk dirty to me, pin me down and have his way with me. I'm very much a control freak, so the idea of being completely dominated in bed really turns me on! I've always felt this way, but as my life gets bigger and more hectic, and I have more responsibilities, I find myself wanting this more and more. we've talked about it in the past, and I've told him what I want him to do to me, to which he says: "we'll have to try it." but then when it comes down to it, he just pulls out all the same moves and I'm left confused and frustrated. During sex, I've asked him to slap my ass, pull my hair pinch my nipples, etc, and he will (sorta light and soft though) but ONLY when I tell him to. When I talk dirty to him he only replies with sweet lovey dovey remarks, its so frustrating! I once bought an issue of Maxim Magazine that had an article about primal sex, where they were talking about how a lot of women like rough sex, and I flagged the page with a sticky note and left it on the coffee table. He found it and asked why I was reading it and I told him I think it sounds like a lot of fun. I figured he'd get the hint, but still nothing. I also tried taking dirty pics of myself and sending them to him at work with a description of what I wanted him to do to me ( which was so graphic) but instead I come home to candles and flowers and a massage?! Once I told him that my biggest fantasy was to come home and be thrown up against the wall and raped hard and forced to do whatever he wanted me to( No I have never been sexually abused nor did I have a traumatic childhood, its just the idea of being totally helpless that turns me on!) and asked what his fantasy was, and that whatever it was I would do it for him, but he says he doesent have any? I'm at my wits end with this, and I spend most nights masturbating to p*rn and faking a headache. What can I do to teach him that this is what I need to be satisfied sexually? Maybe he thinks I'm a freak, I don't know, but I love him and trust him and don't think I should be ashamed of my sexual identity. Helpp!
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