Sexual Health
+1 y

Why is it okay for guys to sleep around?

Why is it socially accepted and okay that a guy can sleep with like 12 girls by the time they're 20 but if a girl slept with 12 guys by 20 she's considered a slut? Cause from my point of view, I'm not ready to be in a relationship and I can admit that I'm just too immature to be in one. I could have feelings for a couple weeks, and the very next day my feelings have completely vanished. I'm also always on the look out for the next hot guy in line so clearly I'm not ready to be in relationship and I know I would cheat. I have slept with a good amount of people, but I personally don't think that makes me a slut. And I'm extremely selective about who I have sex with.. I don't go around sleeping with the first available guy. I love sex. What's wrong with that? Why do I have to keep to myself just because I don't have a boyfriend?
0 0

Most Helpful Guys

  • I will het sh*t flack for this... but girls must understand that there is no cure to this question . The effect of en caling women sluts is big because men ask women out and they select the woman... man persues the woman not woman persues the man. As long that this wouldn't change... the sex that gets to make the selection, approach , courting is the one who judges the other sex. You are on this forum asking us this question because you are annoyed that you are called a slut. or might be considered a slut by ...who ?

    By Men! because this affects year chances with who...? with Men ! Because men are by nature competetive they wll always want to select something unique... the only soloution is to create a situation where all girls sleep with all boys so that nbody gets to envy the other for having the unique oppertunity. If you are presented witha guy who sleapt with 5 girls and a guy who sleapt with every girl in the city... if they are equal in everything else .. you will choose the guy who makes you special. The issue is that men are the one who gets to do the approach.. so if you have a reputation ... then you might not be approached to begin with... attraction isn't logical . I want to be special and I want to have a special girl.

    Also Because men look at women as objects more than women look at men as object.

    Subconciously... what men wants the most is sex... number 2 is romance and love

    what women wants more is security , love and passion... number 2 is sex

    Because sex is physical ... while security, love and passion is more emotional... men tend to look at the physical qualities very much ( some people say men are more visiual .. while girls get attracted to confidence and fun more) and since men look at the physical side more.. they tend to form the idea of women as an object and as a beautiful painting in their posession. because of this view... men want to have ''new'' things. unused things.

    Also men are competetive... because in their instinct is to defend against the aggression of other men ( who made wars and armies ? men or women ?) then they tend to see a competitor in every other man , and they tend to see his physical side as a threat ( his power, physique , penis size ) Thus when they are engaging in sex witha female... they can álways compare with an aimaginary oponent that was thereefore them . A guy who '' posessed'' and ''tampered '' with his goods before him.

    while women are also jelous and competetive... the main view on their man is that he is the protector and the provider... it is something tha is not physical in him and the previous woman can't beat her to him or take it away.. in fact.. a man gets better in these areas with age and experience .. while women beauty, perkiness, tightness gets worse with time .

    I really dnt think it is fair ..but attraction and instincts aren't logical.

    • Well, I actually was never called a slut by men. It was girls that have said I was a slut. And unlike most women, subconsciously, sex is number 1 for me and security, love, and passion is number 2 for me. I feel like when it comes to my emotions and what I want from the opposite sex, I take the male role more often than the female role.

    • Then you have no problem . You will only have problems with men when you ''need'' them. If you don't then you are clear.

  • Ok I want to start out by saying I have no experience in this and I'm using a sociological perspective and the theory of evolution to support my answer. In order to answer this I need to go back to the beginning of humans. All humans once lived in a world where survival was key right? And in order to survive you needed to reproduce to get your genes into the gene pool. This was the basic reason for early human survival (evolutionarily speaking). And with that in place, different beliefs about the way men and women should act began to arise. In traditional/primitive society women became known as the mothers, ever loyal to their lover, and the ones needing protection by other when pregnant. To compliment the women's' primitive/traditional "role" the men became the protectors of the woman which later evolved into the "I must be the strongest because I need to protect my woman." This gave the men the "This is my house and what I say goes period" and the "I can do what ever I want because I'm a guy" mentality. It also gave them the thought of "My woman" thus changing into the "Women are objects" mentality as well. So probably due to the "I can do whatever I want because I'm a guy" mentality and the instinctive urge to pass on ones genetic material guys started have sex with more than one woman. Because they were a guy they could do that while it went against the "role" of women. This thought process stayed virtually the same for a couple thousand years making certain that these thoughts on men and women are sticking around for thousands more years. Well that's exactly what it did. In fact it's engraved into our brain so much that we don't even recognize it. So now that mentality still exists in this day and age. But with time things change like the role of women. Now most, if not all, women in industrial societies are basically free from the traditional role but for most guys their primitive mindset has basically stayed the same (since guys tend to be the ones to mature slower). And that mindset has rubbed off on society since we create society just as much as it creates us, renewing the traditional view of women. Thus came the term "sluts" or the women who just follow the natural instinct of continuing their genes but since that doesn't follow the traditional view of women that the guys are rubbing off onto society those women are dubbed with a derogatory title, even though essentially men are also "sluts."

Most Helpful Girls

  • stupe as norm I reckon - hah probably because w guy you can't tell experienced they are where as a chick can be loose. and as oscar wilde once said men waht to be a woman's first lover what a woman wants to be a man's last romance.

    be a repeat offender if poss babe.

    nothing wrong. good to play the field I think. it is more about the rep you have... all good if it ain't out in the open. or it will affect your future.

    luck xx

  • wow I think were the same person. I feel the exact same wayyy about pretty much everything you said!

    i feel like people judge me by the number of guys I hav slept with.. my exboyfriend who had slept with like 20 girls called me a slut for sleeping with like 7 or something

    • Nice to know there's a girl that feels the same way! And I know guys who've slept with 30+ guys and it's totally cool but because I've slept with like 11 I'm like the worst person ever. And I hate how I get judged for my number too. It's not like it makes me any worse of a person and it sucks that people have these negative opinions.

Scroll Down to Read Other Opinions

What's Your Opinion? Sign Up Now!

Related Questions

Girls, do you have sex drive?
I just want to get fucked! How to get a guy to approach you/notice you at a party?
Are you mentally ill or mentally healthy, and is it difficult or easy for you to orgasm during masturbation?
If a guy told you he could cum farther than he can pee, what would be your reaction?

What Girls & Guys Said

0 13

  • Whilst I do agree with everything you said (you being the question asker), allow me a moment of sexism (sort of).

    Is it generally guys or girls that call other girls sluts? I've not herd a guy ever call a girl a slut in the real world (trolls on the internet is another story). However I have heard it mentioned quite a bit from females, often about their 'friends' behind their backs.

    I personally think it's some sort of jelousy. I think the 'non-sluts' are jelous that they can't be happy in their sexuality and feel the need to clinge to their boyfriend (even if they don't like him) so they don't look like a 'slut'. Then they complain about their Boyfriend and the 'sluts' and generally make the lives of everyone around them miserable.

    Ok that was a little rant-ish, and rather generalised, but the point still stands. To me, it's the name calling girls that annoy the p*ss out of me. Give me a 'slut' that's funny cool and happy with her sexuality for a night anytime.

    Just... let me clear it with my girlfriend first.

    • Guys have never called me a slut, a few of my friends said I was.

    • That's sort of my point. I think the slut calling is mostly by girls, and the girls that do it (from my point of view) all seem to be bitter twisted bitches, to be honest. I'm a male nurse, so when I was doing my degree at uni, all my friends were girls. I soon befriended most of the 'sluts' (or more so, the laid back happy girls) because they were nice, friendly, and just good people. The "slut callers" all seemed to be "I'm better then you" attitude. Didn't like them.

  • Society does have double standards. As time marches on, some of these standards fade away and others are created but it only happens slowly.

    There is nothing "wrong" with your behavior but society may "wrongly" judge you. You may get labelled a slut (by people with small minds) and you will have to decide whether you can live with that. If you are comfortable with your morals, then don't worry about it.

  • As you get older, you'll find there are more and more things in life where you have to decide whether you're going to be who you are or be who people want you to be. This is one of the biggies, but it certainly won't be the last item for which you have to make that choice.

    The behavior you describe is contrary to the rules that have been established by institutions and people who want to form society and control people to fit their own conception of an ideal world. There is nothing that says you have to go along with that game, but you do have to realize that choosing not to will make you a target for people who want to indulge in spite, jealousy, and judgment. It is socially risky, but there is nothing inherently wrong about it.

  • It's not exactly okay for guys to sleep around. Other guys will still talk to you and won't insult you right in front of you, but they'll still call you an asshole and a douchebag when you aren't around. It's just less okay for girls to sleep around.

    Also, it's been glorified for thousands of years, just look at Greek myths.

    • Idk that it's not okay for guys. I'm friends with a lot of guys and they just tell me how so-so is the man. I've never heard otherwise.

    • Never heard anybody call someone "the man," that's stupid.

  • Welcome to the world of double standards.

  • It's a sanctimonious thing. Too many 'pious' people passing judgment. I, only the other hand, have always loved the girls like you. You're not a 'slut' in my eyes and are welcomed through my door any time.

  • I don't do that personally. I've slept with a select few, despite having many offers. I don't want the girl I do meet that could be the one to be turned off to the idea of dating me because I slept with 20 something girls, and I am sure as hell not gonna lie about the number of girls I do sleep with because that would be living a lie or starting out a relationship with a lie.

  • Guy or girl. They're both sluts.

  • most people love sex but most people can control themselves, nothing is wrong with how you want to live but I don't want kids with a girl like that. for many reasons but one of those reasons being why would I want to marry a girl that's been passed around when there are so many that haven't. not saying all a women has to offer is her sex but is is definitely top top 2. nothing is wrong with how you want to live but its not for everybody and some people won't accept it. I imagine your on the fence on weather you want kids or not.

    • You imagined correctly.. I have no idea if I want kids or not.

    • Wel. see then this is the type of men that will get serious with you. the type that will never be very serious, and the type that doesn't really want kids for the most part. men that want kids don't want mommy to have taken many d***s. could I date a girl like you sure I could and I have before, but I've come to the conclusion that we are incompatible on a basic human level and that will not change. so I decided its a waste of time.

  • hey will you message me I want to talk to you about this?

  • I think both of them are sluts...

  • Men & Women are like keys & lock's. A key that opens many locks is known as a master key. But a lock that opens for many key's is a sh*tty lock. Lol! No, it has to do with how f***ed up our culture is, I agree completely , it is bull sh*t, but men & women have always had social benefits & draw back's there should be more equality all around for men & women, but with change comes time, be patient.

  • If you can sleep with a guy and not form or need an emotional attachement good for you. A lot of other girls cant. You seem to have a problem with the double standard, which is a social, religous and cultural means by controlling behaviour.

    Some have sugested that property rights in western societies have discouraged promiscuity as well as other reasons, idnentity of father, stds, inbreeding, property rights, birth rates, abortions etc. In some socities where property is communal, promiscuity by women is not a sin. The only sin the woman can comit is not have enough children.

    It is something you have to accept and deal with, if you don't tell anyone they won't know, most girls are sneeky, like go outside their social circle or travel oseas, so no one ever finds out.

Latest Questions

Do you like eating pussy from the back or front and why?
Is my mom cheating Should I tell the guy?
Do girls with ugly bodies send nudes or hot bodies usually?
Whats your body count?
Home >  Sexual Health  > Why is it okay for guys to sleep around?