A guy is sending naked pictures to my girlfriend after she asked for them, what should I do?

[geotrail968]

have been going out for nearly 21 months now, in a long distance relationship however we see each other every week for like 3 days in a row... getting straight to the point, after having suspicions of her I checked her phone and found sum guy had been sending naked pics to her after she asked him to send them to her... I don't know where to go from here? firstly I know it was wrong of me to check through her phone because that's her personal space but I had a gut feeling and I don't know far this could have gone if I hadn't of found out now... this is the 2nd time its happened, her excuse was that her and her best friend chat up boys for a laugh but don't pursue it any advice on what to do would be gr8, not sure how to confront her or even if I should confront the guy over phone?

[selfishstars]

First off, I wouldn't confront the guy unless he is, say, a friend of yours who knows you're in a relationship with her. Really, the third party usually isn't to blame and the issue lies with your girlfriend.

The most difficult thing here is the fact that you went through her phone and that shows mistrust and an invasion of her privacy. If you confront her about the pictures, the issue will likely be turned around on you, as she's likely to get mad at the fact that you went through her phone (she has a right to be upset about this, but most people do this mainly to deflect attention away from the thing that they did wrong).

So, you have to decide whether or not you want to confront her about this. First off, is she really doing something wrong? By that, I mean, could it be true that she's just doing it for a laugh? When she did it before, did you tell her it bothered you and ask her not to (and she agreed)? What do you hope to gain from confronting her? Is an apology from her worth the fact that admitting you looked at her phone will cause her to mistrust you? Is she showing any signs that she might be cheating on you or engaging in any behavior that seems shady? What was it that caused you to be suspicious of her in the first place (was it just because she had done it before? or was there something else--if there was something else, perhaps you could address that and see if she fesses up)?

I know I haven't given any great advice here, but I guess my point is to take some time to think about the situation, what you hope to gain by confronting her, and how to do it in a way where you can control as much damage as possible over the fact that you invaded her privacy.

[talon13]

She's more in the wrong here than you, by far.

Don't confront the guy, it's likely he doesn't know about you. Plus, it won't really do anything.

In my opinion, you need to ask her directly. Now, the important thing is to give her a chance. So don't act like you looked through her phone. Ask her, and tell her sternly to be honest, if she has done anything, like sending or receiving naked pics again, while you have been going out, without letting her on that you know anything, just as a concerned suspicion. If she admits it, she was probably telling the truth before as well and wasn't actually acting on anything. If she denies it, you can pull out the evidence and confront her, but at that point (at least from my perspective) she might not be worth it anyway, since she has lied (and possibly cheated) more than once.

Hope you can sort things out.

[YaMez]

Why would you confront the guy? He may not even know you exist. Take that phone, show her the pictures you saw and tell her you outta there. That's how I'd do it anyway. Sure you may have violated her trust by looking through her phone, but at least she didn't find some pics of some naked chick on yours. You listened to your gut and it was right. More people should do that. You deserve better my friend. Good luck.

[Elcristoph]

Hello,

right your looking at the wrong person.. the person you need to confrunt is HER.. basicaly she doesn't want you anymore and so she's flirting with this other guy..

from this point on the trust factor in your relationship has gone.. the grown up thing to do is to walk away from her..

Good Luck

- Chris