My boyfriend calls me a whore during sex!! WHY?!?

My boyfriend and I have a great, loving relationship. He is respectful and sweet to me all the time and we talk about a future together ... In short, I think we could go the distance.

The question is: WHY, if he respects and cares for me, would he call me a whore in bed?! I like to be talked to in bed and a while back, we would experiment with talking to each other. One night he said, "You're my little whore aren't you? You love d***, don't you? You love d*** and you belong to me."

I have NEVER been talked to that way before and I admit... it turned me on... A LOT.

However, since then, he has taken to talking dirty like that to me a lot more often. He says, "Please don't take it personally, its all part of the fantasy... when we are finished, all that stops."

I know men want a lady in the street and a whore in the bedroom, but I am afraid that a man who thinks about a girlfriend as a whore in ANY context, would never want to be with them long term. You can't think about the mother of your children as a whore... right?

Any input?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • He does it because it's hot and you know you like it. Don't get confused with sex talk and real emotions. Every guy has a whore/slut fantasy, and every girl gets turned on by the thought of being one too. Just roll with it and don't read into it too much. If we didn't live in "society" you would have to embrace your inner slut just to survive and procreate, so the programming is there whether you own it or ignore it.

    I treat my wife like gold and would never disrespect her in any way. I think she will be an amazing mother and long term partner and lover. BUT when the clothes come off I call her all sorts of unsavory names, and she loves it when I choke her a little and grab and tug hard on her hair and be all sorts of nasty to her. It turns her on A LOT so I do it and enjoy myself while doing it. No harm done. And in every case after we kiss tenderly and tell each other how much we love each other. So it basically wipes the slate clean every time (no matter how wrong I was to her for the last hour even when the neighbors call the cops) and life goes on with flowers and kittens and white picket fences.

    You are too worried about this.

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      Agreed 100% with this guy, it's just him having a little role play fun, it has no bearing on what he actually thinks of you. It just adds a little spice. You even admit that it turns you on a bit. Role playing and what he actually thinks/feels about you are two different things. Try to just let loose and have some fun :)

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      LOL. I love the way you put that..."you would have to embrace your inner slut just to survive". You are right, it DOES turn me on. The bottom line is that I have never been a relationship where this kind of thing was an option or even thought of. It takes a level of trust and vulnerability that I am open to, but is just a bit foreign to me.

      I really appreciate your taking the time though and I think you are right... I will just go with it probably have a lot of fun on the way. Thank you. =)

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      3mo

      I love talking dirty with my husband during sex. Unfortunately, 8 years into our marriage we both had an affair. That was two years ago now. And during our road to recovery, he decides to start calling me whore during sex. It's not sometimes. It's all the time. I no longer feel special because of it. I still love to get nasty and dirty. But referring to me as a whore makes me feel beat down. I've told him and he gets mad at me and says its for his pleasure. Ok that's fine, but what about me? Our marriage is very loving and we have come a long long way since the affair issue. We love each other and have fully forgiven each other. But this is a new feddish that I just don't understand. I used to feel sexy in bed. Now I just feel like a useless not so special woman. Because all he sees me as is his whore. Well, that's how it feels anyway