My boyfriend never wants a BJ?

[ImperfectPerfection]

Hello :) I have been with my boyfriend for four years now. We were together for two years when we were 14, and then split up at 16 as I moved away (returning a year later). We got back together when we were 17, and have been together since then. I know a lot of men say that they are never fully satisfied until they get a BJ, but my boyfriend never wants one. He never asks for one, and when I make a move, he takes my hands in his and continues kissing me or distracts me. We've had sex loads of times during the four years that we have been together, and have even talked about how nice it would be to have a family and get married in the future. But point blank, he refuses having a BJ. I understand that some people just don't want one, but I was wondering whether it could be something else. Loads of people have said that it could be something in his past - but I know no one has been with him in his life apart from me, and we have been best friends since the age of two, and he has told me absolutely everything that happens, so I'd know if something had come up. Any help? Please? It's not like I even want to give him one. I just don't want him to feel unappreciated or that I don't want him. Thank you.

[spoonthepleaser]

Well it sounds to me like he already feels appreciated as it is. But basically put, some guys don't want BJ's. They find it demeaning for a woman and therefore do not make them feel that they need to do that simply to pleasure them. It could be simply a respect issue, he respects you too much to let you do that. He may simply enjoy sex more than that and simply would prefer that you both receive pleasure at the same time. Some men see that recieving a BJ is simply pleasure for them but not for the woman and can be seen as selfish. Depending on the level of the relationship, he may simply just want you to have the most pleasurable experiences possible, and by doing that for him, you aren't pleasuring yourself which is what he would want.

If he does want one, I am sure that he would simply let you be, even if one night he simply feels like experimenting and you have already made the first move. It may or it may not happen. If you really want to do it for him, then your welcome to try again

Don't take this as rejection on his part, moreso as a greater respect for you as a woman and as your best friend. It could also counter-act against his beliefs if he is religious, but my money would be on the first answer.

Hope that helps you out

[Alexeiv]

I'm one of those guys and I'll answer this as best I can, for me it boils down to three things:

1. I wouldn't want to suck my d***, so why would I want a girl to do it?

2. Few people get pleasurable oral stimulation from doing it, so it seems she wouldn't enjoy it

3. When I kiss that same mouth, I don't want to think of my d***

[jhova23]

Some guys really don't want the mouth they kiss to be on their d*ck. So that could be it. Another one is you are not that good. The best way to find out is just ask. I have no idea why it's so hard to ask a question.

[RainyDayMan74]

Don't worry about him feeling unappreciated or that you don't want him. Sometimes the simplest answer is the correct one. He just doesn't like it. It's a personal preference just like any other sexual act. Your sex life sounds just fine and it sounds like you two are well on the way to a wonderful future. Forget about the BJ, you don't want to do it and he doesn't like them. Leave it at that.

[human_condition]

Has he seen the film 'Teeth'...? ;)

[noclueman]

I have never never never never never never never ever heard of any guy not wanting his co ck sucked. You might want to have a real adult discussion about this and find out what is up because it sounds like something must be wrong with something.

[Alexeiv]

You're an ignorant fool.

[MetalPhoenix79]

It could be some kind of traumatic incident. I was with a girl and she wouldn't let me eat her. It had nothing to do with taste/smell or any other factor. She would nearly cry and would "shut down" if I tried to eat her. She never told me what the problem was but her friends said "just don't ask". I don't know if it was a rape situation or what but obviously something traumatic. I don't know how applicable this is to your situation but I hope it helps a little bit.

[rob1676]

Funny I like to see when a girl gives a bj but when I'm getting one I go kinda soft..idk I think I'm just self conscious because I'm not cut down there.

[Anonymous]

If everything else is OK, I would not let this be a problem.

Don't try to over-psych this. You could spoil a good relationship.