Guys would you marry a woman who has been around the block (a few times)?

[Anonymous]

I'm worried about my future all of a sudden because I see my friends in loving relationships (not all of them of course but a lot) and we will go out on group dates so we can all catch up and I'll be the only single girl there or the guy I have with me is usually a f*** buddy. I don't feel bad about my sex life but I worry I'll never meet anyone who will be able to look past the fact that I sleep around. I have had sex with so many guys that it even shocks me sometimes. If I didn't keep a journal I honestly wouldn't know how many men I have slept with. I have cheated on boyfriends, multiple times, but my last relationship was great. I broke up with him because things were getting too intense for me at this point in my life. Anyway he was never comfortable with my sex life but he tried hard to ignore it. that worked but there was a lot of jealousy I think as a result. whenever old f*** buddies or boyfriends would come around he would get defensive, etc. The guy I'm f***ing now is kind of like a best friend who is brutally honest who I happen to sleep with. we have amazing, freakin explosive sex together and we cuddle and talk but he calls me names too and if we fight he will call me a a whore or a slut to try to make me feel bad. he always tells me that no guy is going to marry me because I'm such a skank and that I shouldn't care about being married. he says he'll have kids with me if I can't find a guy to marry me because he thinks id make a great mom as long as we can screw other people. lol I mean if that's what it comes to fine but I mean I would like to think some guys would give me a chance...

[vmw2008]

I think the real problem is that you're still acting this way. It's one thing to have a crazy past and find men who will overlook it, it's quite another to have a crazy present. I think that a person's sexual history is their business. As long as you don't have any STD's, there's really nothing to share with future guys. The only guys that demand to know exactly how many guys you've slept with/given a handjob too/ passed on the street one time (lol) are guys that are super insecure. Your number is important because they're scared they won't measure up, and they're often guys who have slept around quite a bit themselves. However, be mindful of the fact that guys do have friends, and if you've had sex with their friends it most likely won't turn into a relationship.

Another point to make, it's not so much what you sexual past looks like, as much as it is how you carry yourself. There's a big difference between a sexually consenting adult and an easy skank. The sexually consenting adult may have had 5 partners, she may have had 35, but you'll never know. She's independent, classy, carries herself well, acts like a lady, has standards for who she sleeps with, doesn't disclose unnecessary information about her sex life, and she certainly doesn't let men disrespect her, because she respects herself.

The skank on the other hand discloses with everyone how many people she's been with. Who and what she's done is no secret. Her boyfriends know which guys she's had sex with (no wonder they're jealous). She has a trashy demeanor, insecure, and is viewed like the community bicycle because she herself views herself in that light. Also, she lets men disrespect her (calling you a skank/slut), and continues to have sex with him. And she actually considers living a life in which she gets knocked up by a cheating emotional abuser!

I hope you can see the huge difference between these two women. Your numbers might be exactly the same, but your mindsets are different. How can anyone else respect you if you don't respect yourself? Be a classy lady who acts like an adult, and is comfortable with her sex life but doesn't need to disclose it, and you'll be treated like a lady. If you think you're the community toy and you put up with men that disrespect you, then that's how you're going to be treated and viewed. Who would want to marry a girl like that?

[2doves4me]

This just reminded me of sex in the city. I was super mega bored and watched a whole rerun of that stuff (I've never watched it before on TV), and they sleep around a lot but they're classy and RICH. but they're like 45 and SINGLE and sleeping around. Like each episode they have a NEW guy they are sleeping with... but they're classy about it.

[vmw2008]

Exactly! They definitely have their share of fun but no one thinks they're trash. They're classy ladies.

[Asker]

1. You cannot cheat if you are not in a committed relationship. He means something along the lines of an open relationship. 2. You're seriously trying to tell me I don't act like an adult and that I have a "trashy demeanor?" Really? I'm not even going to get into that with you. Lol. Thanks for your opinion though.

[vmw2008]

My intention wasn't to call you trashy or be offensive, I was trying to show you the point of view men will come from when looking to get married. Maybe the guy isn't cheating, but he will look at you disrespectfully if you take disrespect from this f*** buddy of yours. He isn't treating you well. My only point was that you can keep your sexual lifestyle, not put up with guys like that, and look classy. Guys will see it as trashy when you allow men like him to treat you bad and still sleep w him

[TC123]

Well, since the system ate my previous reply the short answer is no, I wouldn't. Let's face it, marriage isn't easy and I would NEVER, EVER even CONSIDER having kids with someone who liked to run around like that. I had a coworker who married a girl and had a kid with her, I used to have to come to his house and 'babysit' his daughter because he was out looking in random bars for his wayward wife. No thanks.

It sounds to me like you're a nice person who is trying to grow up, I can understand that but to do so you're going to have to get rid of the poorer elements in your life, namely Mr. Fucktoy. Someone who calls you a slut and tells you that he'll gladly knock you up as long as he can cheat doesn't sound like a positive influence.

[TC123]

Also, I should add that a past is just that; a past. But, if you're STILL doing those sorts of things, STILL dating the same people then it's not a past - it's the present. I have guy friends who never got over their teenage years and still want to run around and bang 20 year olds even though they are married, 30 years old with 2 kids - not good.

[TimeAndTimeAgain]

I wouldn't care. If I feel comfortable around you and I'm attracted you, and the sex is good, and I felt that you really cared about me the same way, then I wouldn't care about how many people you've slept with before - as long as you don't keep mentioning it to me and pointing out which guys you've slept with.

"Hey. Hey you know that waiter over there? Yeah we had sex."

[jacquesvol]

Same for me.

[mikenice8]

Personally I wouldn't, I'm a complete opposite of u. There are a lot of girls that want to sleep with me that I know I can get, but I don't want a large number because someday I'm going to find the women I love and I don't want to have to tell her I was a man whore. It shows that you cherish the act for more than it is.

Like girls, guys talk and the only reason a guy will spit game and try to romance you is so he can have sex with you just to see what everyone is talking about. If you really need sex that bad to live your life then get a machine or some toys. Your buddy seems like an ass.

You say you don't care then why wouldnunpost this message. It might be because your f*** buddy keeps putting you down. That's no way to live, and lastly past is the past, but the past is what makes you who you are and how you will make your choices in the future.

[sa230e]

It doesn't matter to me. If we love each other enough to get married then that's good enough for me.

[billmunch]

yes. i find it attractive.

[Anonymous]

yea but only if she would made me smell her stinky feet :)

[Asker]

Lol what? Okay...

[Anonymous]

I'd give you a chance, how many people a girl has slept with doesn't bother me really. All that matters to me is as long as she's not got an STD were good. lol I wouldn't worry about it babe.

[Anonymous]

Depends on how used she was. If my friends said, "You're marrying who?!" and knew her she was, intimately, then I'd probably now.