When your boyfriend goes to a strip club, what do you do? Ladies?

OKAY. Honestly, I HATE that he goes but I don't want to tell him stuff that it's immoral and hold him to my opinion when his guys urge him to go with them. I have told him that it makes me uncomfortable and promised to work on that because I love him. He doesn't deserve an insecure girlfriend. No one does!

So after our talks, and now that he goes, what do I do now? It's a Sun night of a long weekend. I have to stay home and study (I'm in grad school). He and his buddies are out. Strip club it is cause they really don't do much else after the bar.

I've tried going with him and almost cried later on after what I saw. I told him. He felt guilty so I quickly brushed the tears and said it's okay. I know it's just me. I gotta work on it!

I can't think of anything that I do that gets him concerned like this. This issue is making it hard to concentrate and get my work done. Wtf? So, what is the right thing to do?


Most Helpful Girl

  • i wouldn't like the idea of it either. but guess what, when he goes to the strip clubs - get your girls and go to a night club. wear a sexy dress and go out and party. don't sit at hom upset about what he's doing, go out and have fun yourself. if it's OK for him to do it then you should do it too. most likely he will probably get jealous but guess what, if its OK for him to go to strip clubs but he sees that you are upset by it then he should stop! if he doesn't then try and turn the tables on him. if he is going to see naked/topless women with his guys (at the very least) then there should be nothing wrong with you dressing sexy and dancing with your girls and around other guys. what's good for the goose is good for the gander

    • Funny you say this. I was thinking the same thing last night after I wrote this. I do love dancing and it really has been a long time I haven't gone because of classes, work, family(strict!), etc. You're totally right. Thanks girl!

    • Show All
    • You're friggin awesome :) I just got a whole bunch of friends to go out to a frat party this week. Nothing too crazy aaaand here's the dress: http://www.amiclubwear.com/clothing-top-e5-d5341teal.html#

      Yes or no?

      I casually brought it up with him and he didn't seem to mind at all. I guess it's what I needed.

    • That is a really cute dress, its not slutty at all, I would have gone the hoochier route lmao but it's really cute. hope you had a good time

What Guys Said 8

  • I curious what happened at the strip club that caused you to cry? It wasn't you up there taking off her clothes picking up money off the floor as well as having it stuffed under her garter belt. It's well known that many women strip because there's big money in it and are doing it to support their family. They need the money, especially during this imposed Obamic Socialistic economy.

    • It was just him being so fixed on the stripped. For some reason that fixation felt so special when he gave it to me. I think I was also uncomfortable.

      LOL to the last part of the answer.

    • No matter how much a guy loves a girl, there's always going to be another girl that catches his eye for a moment. It must also be such for a girl. Some guy will always catch her eye for a moment. Call it 'visual cheating' but at night you're the one he's sleeping with not her.

  • Get up on stage! That's what you SHOULD do.

    • I do that for him already. I give him a "study break" on the desk for fun ;)

  • The right thing to do is not worry about it. Guys are visual being and the female body is a work of art, if well taken care of. Maybe you should check out a male strip club someday, just to see how he feels about you going.

    • On the contrary she may cause to worry. Some, if not many, strip clubs have 'vip' rooms where, for the discrete client, he gets far more than a hands-off experience (if you know what I mean) with the girl.

    • I know very well that most strip clubs have VIP rooms, but since he is being truthful about where he is going and is going with the guys, I don't think she should worry about it. If he was going behind her back or by himself there might be a reason to worry. If a guy is going to cheat, he's going to cheat. Strippers is not. BTW most strippers will put out for the right kind of money.

  • I had an ex give me flak for going to a strip club even though my buddies and I went regularly prior to dating her and I even have a lifetime membership card.

    You have to ask yourself what does he get out of it. For myself, we got cheap beer ($2 a bottle) and free food (buffet started at 5 PM) and got to hang out and catch up on stuff. The music was really loud which I hated because I had to shout to the person standing next to me. Though the naked women were nice, they weren't all that.

    I like thick women, the kind that establishments like that wouldn't want swinging on the pole. Drinking makes me less likely to be sexual and strippers don't turn me on. We went a week ago after a few months of being too busy to hang out and the free food is gone. Also the beer prices went up to $3. Time to find another place to hang out.

  • You don't really need help anymore, so I won't offer it, but I have to tell you like, I think its really cool that your not imposing your morals on him. My girlfriend's like that with drugs. Like, I take them but because of her past, she hates them a lot, but she doesn't think she has a right to tell me to stop, you know? So I just don't do it around her, and do it a bit less, as a compromise. ^^

    Annyway, well done, lol. It sounds like you two have a good relationship by the way ^^

    • I don't mind hearing real people's thoughts. That's why I put the question up. Really appreciate it! :)

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What Girls Said 15

  • the bottom line is, he goes to the strip club with his friends occasionally for a fun time but at the end of the day he's with you and he doesn't question it. if he questioned it y'all wouldn't be together. from my experience when guys question relationships they walk and if you were REALLLY p*ssing your guy off about this he'd have walked already. clearly whatever you're going through he wants to work through with you. if he had a thing for strippers and seemed like he wanted to get with a stripper there'd be signs like criticizing your body, telling you you need to dress differently, asking you to do things differently, etc. if all you're worried about is him going to the club itself, he's coming home to you. whatever you saw, it wasn't enough to change how he felt about you. one of my friends used to be a stripper and my cousin's best friend used to be a stripper...what they did and how they worked, is beyond me, but BOTH of them will admit, each time they were paid it went to bills...they make these guys seem like they're interested and have a shot so they get more money. as soon as he puts that $20 in her g-string she's thinking, "that's going towards my electric bill." these girls that sit and talk with guys, they're charging them too, from my understanding. can you imagine how much a guy will spend JUST to have conversation? if you're worried about him cheating there's a serious problem that's bigger than the strip club.

  • I talked to my hubby(then bf) early on how I felt about him going to strip clubs and whatnot, and how I was totally NOT okay with it. And he actually sided with me. After telling him my views on the subject and how it made me feel if he were to go and do those things, he gladley put it in the past and gave them up for me. I can provide his every sexual need for him, and I do it damn well. So why does he need sexual stuff from elsewhere? He doesnt. Just got to have a guy that shares your views or at least respects them, or else the relationship will crumble.

    • The idea is really comforting. Hats off to you for the honesty! :) It's hard though. He's got friends who encourage him. I'm not going to tell him to stop hanging out with them or siding them. I mean I fell for him even when he had those friends from the start. They're part of him and I'm not willing to take that away. We have a very open communication and he trusts me a lot. I have to know when I should use that....like what is right to do for us vs. what makes me feel better? Help?

  • I go with my man, it turn me on, because I'm bi, but if your not, it would suck I suppose. Now if my man went alone... That's one step below the cheating line to me.

  • i don't like my man going either not that I'm insecure because I'm not but a lot of men think its OK to go to strip clubs becuase there not really doing nothing with them girls there just looking and at the end of the night they come home to you and not them strippers but it really is bad for a relationship for a man to go to strip clubs for a few reasons first of all if it hurts his girlfriends feelings he shouldn't go at all because he should put you before some stupid stripper . and secound JUST LOOKING is not all that inocent when men look at other women LIKE THAT it does put thoughts in there head and can lead to him cheating . sex is a very powerful thing .

    if you feel that upset about it you need to tell him and if he loves you he won't go no more . maybe he and his male friends can find something eles to do besides looking at naked girls for fun . if he don't understand how you feel then that's a problem

  • O[en the yellpow pages of your phone book and hire one to come to your house. It's like 100 plus tip and you and your girlfriends will have such a great time. You will definitely get more out of it then he will. :0 Because it's probably a very new experience for you he will not be happy hearing what men do do in those type of clubs. If you live in NY shoot me an email and I'll take you to some wild clubs for women. The next time he says he's going to see a stripper you'll be wishing him well and skipping out the door to your night on fun. Bring your girlfriends and still wear that sexy dress.Hey if you're uncomfortable with something then he shouldn't do it. I don't like carrots I don't car ehow many times you dress it up I'm not eating it. You don;t have to swallow this too. You can learn to cope with it and be less sensitive but hey having emotions is normal. Now if you were to be screaming or slapping him that's not cool.

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