I seem to have no self control when I am with my boyfriend especially when it comes to making out...

[Anonymous]

I am normally a very reserved person, it took me 10 month into the relationship to kiss him ( my first kiss ) and not so much because I really wanted to but because my older sister kinda pressured me to but now I can't seem to stop wanting to kiss him whenever I am around him. Every time that I make out with him I feel great but when I get home and I am by myself I would feel horrible at the lack of control I have and that I have that kind of feelings ( lust )... I find it very shameful to like someone physically... I am so scared that making out or being physical is too big of a part in our relationship.

[dynamic23]

A lack of control can be a bit scary, but I don't think you have anything to worry about. Your little pangs of guilt are natural for someone who is confused about their ethics and may not know the underlying reasons for their beliefs. After all, if you don't know why sexuality and physicality is "taboo", your mind may just categorize it all as bad. Don't feel bad about making out with the guy, it's what people in relationships do. Just keep in the back of your mind that you're not going to let your physical attraction override the other parts of your relationship. Talk to him, and explain that you feel like you lose control sometimes and don't want to put too much emphasis on the physical parts. If he's a good guy, he will understand. The biggest part to alleviating some of your problems is to spend some time by yourself, thinking about what your beliefs are regarding physicality in relationships, and why you feel that way. That will allow you to set boundaries in your life to make sure that the physicality doesn't get out of hand. Whether that means that you pass on making out sometimes, or you stop after a little while, you will know exactly how far you can go before you start getting in that uncomfortable zone. Just remember, making out isn't bad, sex isn't bad, physicality isn't bad. They are all just very powerful things that have the ability to control you, much like a drug can. Caffeine is a very powerful drug with some nasty withdrawal symptoms if you allow it to control you, but if you use it in a responsible way, you can reap the rewards (energy, stamina) that it can give. Same goes for physicality.

My primary suggestion is for you to think to yourself and talk to your guy about what you want and why you want it. I think that it would make you feel tons better about your situation.

[l-hedoniste]

In other words, you're hot for your boyfriend. The technical term for this is "winning". As long as you accept that your boyfriend is a human beings with feelings, as well as a bucket of smoking hotness, you'll be fine.

By the way, that shame over physical attraction can be a big, big problem if you don't fix it. You're doing nothing wrong. Those feelings are good, and good for you. Trust yourself. You are a good person.

[fluffermuffin]

dont worry its totally normal to want to kiss your boyfriend I'm six months into my relationship and I kissed him before we started dating we've also done a lot more than just kiss in the past six months so you have way more control than I do and if you jst tell him when you don't like something he shud understand they shouldn't make you do anything you don't want to

[Anonymous]

If it feels good do it. Nothing to be ashamed off...