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What does it mean when he doesn't cum?

My boyfriend and I have amazing sex but for some reason he has a hard time coming with me. When he masturbates he cums but when we have sex he has a hard time. Why is that? I asked him if I am not doing something right or if I am not good enough, He says that I am amazing and that he doesn't know why it is hard for him. SO now I ask for your advices and experiences, please help because I can't stop thinking that it is my fault and I can't get my boyfriend off...

Updates:
I managed to talk to him about it and he was very understanding and he said that he was thinking that that was the problem. It just makes me feel good that he is willing to do whatever it takes for us to have a healthy and successful sex life.

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Most Helpful Opinion

  • Let me tell you what Chris Rock said once - Just cause he came doesn't mean you made him come" That was a joke Chris Rock was talking about in a point he was raising about guys not really needing women to cum. This for the most part is true. A guy spends a whole part of his life masturbating and pleasing himself. Basically he knows how to stroke it to make him self cum. So even if I guy busted the nut of his life it does not necessarily mean that you made him come like that, you could have been laying still and he doing all the work, and boom. He knew how to move in order to make it happen.Now I suspect the opposite to be true. He not being able to come might have absolutely nothing to do with you. I suspect his mind is preoccupied on the fact that he is not able to have an orgasm with you and then he sabotages himself. He has to work this out, maybe you can help him relax maybe you cant. The point is stop thinking its fault.

What Guys Said 5

  • Is he on any medication? I am on ssri's, and they delay orgasm, and they are in face prescribed to some men for premature ejaculation.

    • Is he on any medication? I am on ssri's, and they delay orgasm, and they are in fact prescribed to some men for premature ejaculation.

  • he probably jerks off too much. this happened to me once. it made my d*** numb so even tho I was rock hard I was desensitized.tell him to not masturbate for a while and then have sex

    • I must agree with tp. If a guy can't stop masturbating, especially just before he gets you naked, he may never come because there's nothing left. Tell him he doesn't need to whack off when has you. lol

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    • This seems unlikely. men masturbate all the time and most don't have this problem. it's also crazy to suggeset he's masturbating right before he meets you, if he is having this problem.

    • I'm telling you, I've been there. the term "all the time" is subjective to masturbation. of course almost all of us do it often enough, but some (me at some points, even when I had a girlfriend because I was constantly horny and didn't wanna wait lol) do it too much sometimes and it definitely affects our ability to cum. think about the difference in your orgasm when you haven't jerked off in a while. its MUCH STRONGER and it wants to come out quicker. its the same concept.

  • He's uncomfortable with having sex, he's probably still new to it, try increasing the duration of foreplay, and make an effort to make the mood very comfortable and very intimate.

  • He has got used to his hand and doesn't associate the feeling of your p**** with cumming. You can fix this, get him to pull his d*** until he is about to come then put it inside your pussy. Keep doing this but each time with him less hard and eventually he will be able to cum.

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