How long is it normal to go without sex?

[Anonymous]

I haven't had sex in 2 years. I'm 5'0 and 105 lbs. so I know I'm not fat. I work abercrombie & fitch which is infamous for it's "no ugly employees allowed" policy (it's not actually called that but they might as well just come out and say it) so I know I'm not ugly. I've only had sex 3 times (twice with one guy once with another) and they were both a drunken hook up things that I did just to do and I felt like a whore afterward so I don't want to do that again. The guys that hit on me I'm not interested in but I feel like for someone who's not unattractive that 2 years is a long time to go without sex. I really want sex but I want to have it without feeling like a whore. There's no one I'm interested in dating right now and I don't really see where I'd meet any guy I'd want to date soon (I go to the bar every week but most of the guys there are like bottom of the barrel sleazeballs). I'm shy around guys I'm attracted to normally and most people seem to have liquid courage when they drink but I don't so dead sober or dead drunk I can't approach guys anyway. So how long is it normal to have sex? Or how do I find a way to have sex without feeling like a whore since I won't be dating anyone anytime soon?

[AlejChacin]

Some comments interpret your behavior as "choosing not to have sex, nothing wrong with that"... when in reality you want to, but don't want to feel ashamed or get a "slut" label.
Some of the happiest women I have met are the ones that got over the shaming fear (this is what they wanted), some of the unfulfilled ones also got over that fear (and noticed this is not what they wanted, but a more formal relationship).
I would suggest go discreet and pick your guy accordingly. Stay away from macho-looking-behavior types and you won't feel shame. A lot of guys would do the dance with you, make you feel comfortable and actually be grateful of finding somebody alike.
We as guys actually deal with a similar fear: the rejection/pig/pervert backhanded combo just for the simple fact of approaching somebody that we found attractive, me I approach this in a cynical way:
so what, you will die one day and it won't matter. "but what if I look like a slut?" You will die one day, and screw that person, they will forget about you anyways. "But... but... but" you guessed it, one day everything will be over, will you regret chaining yourself to these fears?
Secondly: I ask, why is it that "all" guys that approach you you don't like, and "none" that you like happen to approach you? Seems like unlikely odds and speaks more about you as a person.
Third: can totally relate to you, for me a few months without sex with somebody, let alone years, can make me question about who I am as human being... sexuality is half of being human. Maybe a bit of empathy and less labeling towards others ("bottom of the barrel sleazeballs" is a bit harsh towards people that are probably 10 times in a worse situation than you) will help you overcome your issues too.
My.2 cents.

[Anonymous]

Some people go a long time without sex while others will pick up every other week. I think the question you have to ask yourself is are you comfortable in having casual sex or FWB sex? I personally have never picked up at a bar (I would feel uncomfortable having sex with a stranger) and in the past I had FWB, but while people say that you never develop feelings for your FWB most people will eventually. Now I have a perfect, most beautiful girlfriend.

If you want to have sex and feel comfortable with the idea of FWB see if you have any male friends that you get you like, just keeping in mind that you may compromise your friendship with them in the future. Ask them if they want to be a FWB with you.

[acidpop]

Normal with sex is whatever feels right to the individual. It sounds like the right thing to me that you aren't having sex just for the sake of it. I really respect you. Don't feel bad about not having sex. I think you're better off than girls who continue to carry on drunken behavior with terrible emotional consequences.

You can have sex with a friend who you have sexual tension with, no strings attached. I don't know you, so I don't know if emotions would make that impossible for you. If not, consider getting a toy. Honestly, they're great, and there is no shame in using them. When you DO find a guy you want to have sex with, I'm sure that he'll appreciate that you haven't demeaned yourself or put yourself on an emotional roller coaster with reckless sexual activity.

It really sounds like you don't have a problem to fix. Maybe you'll meet a guy you hit it off with soon. You sound like a great girl. :)

[ambermarie]

well obviously your choosing not to have sex so there's nothing wrong there at all.

[Anonymous]

I haven't had sex in 25 years, how do you think I feel?

[BrassMonkey]

Damn!!!!!

[Opinion Owner]

I'm a virgin if that makes more sense to you, lol

[TwistedLogic]

Well some people went thirty years without it and they're not virgins. It's not common, but it's normal.

[AlejChacin]

Good question, honestly curious, how do you feel?

[11dog22]

Longest dry spell. 9 years. Which is nothing. Of course I dated. But during those years I was a nice guy. Nice guy don’t get the girl. A few times I could laid my pipe. But didn’t. Like I said. Nice guy don’t do that thing.

Once nice guy gloves came off. I started living a sinful lifestyle. But that’s another story.

[cutekid]

Sex is nt a must have..so you cn stay as long as possible..

[Anonymous]

Why do people automatically correlate having sex to being attractive.

[acidpop]

Would most people rather hook-up or be in a relationship with an attractive or unattractive person?

[Opinion Owner]

But by who's definition of attractive? Everyone finds someone attractive. Even if they aren't the cookie cutter plastic looking attractive.

[jessica1988]

So true being just good looking does not get you anything else but compliments...you need more then good looks to get a relationship