Why can't he get hard when we are in bed?

Two days ago was the first time a I got this guy that I have been wanting for months into bed. He came over we talked, watched some movies on the pc. He straddled me and I straddled him, he picked me up and I am not a small or skinny girl at all. Then we got in bed and he fingered the heck out of me and nibbled on my nipples, yet when it came time for him to get inside me he kept going soft. He said he was a little tired so I let it go and just gave him head, even while I was giving him head he was still semi soft. then last night he came back over and after he studied a bit in my dorm, he got on the bed and ran his hands up my legs and started to fondle my breast, then suddenly he stripped me and started to finger me again, he brought me to orgasm I don't know how many times. We were going to have sex this time too but he kept saying that I talked to much and my voice (I have a cold) throws him off. So I gave him head again and this time he got hard a s a rock and came in my mouth. I don't know if he likes me the way that I like him because I really do like him. I just want to know why can't he get hard when its time to have sex or when he gets hard y can't he stay hard? I don't think its me because he says that he loves my body and that I'm cute...idk? What's wrong? Someone please tell me before I get too attached and end up getting hurt!


Most Helpful Guy

  • There is no one single cause for erectile dysfunction which makes it very hard to guess what the problem might be.

    Certainly how tired he is will play a role in it. Also, how healthy and physically active he is will either help or hurt the situation (healthier/move active = better). He may also have been nervous if this was the first time you had seen him naked and/or first time you two were going to have sex. I know that sounds weird, but guys can get nervous too. He might just need some time to warm up to you.

    Are you using protection (birth control, condoms, etc)? He could be worried about stds, pregnancy, etc if you aren't using anything.


What Guys Said 2

  • it's probably nerves. that's super common for guys their first few times with a new partner . . . probably won't be a big problem if you don't make a big deal of it. things SHOULD start working soon . . . just to bad that he was making excuses and blaming you. I'm sure he was just embarrassed and didn't know what to say. Still: not yer fault.


What Girls Said 2

  • He's not a virgin is he?

    • No not at all

      he has more experience then I do and I just lost my virginity to my ex about a month and a half ago

    • Ok just checking but I think it may just be the nerves. I mean it sounds like there's a lot of foreplay. Maybe you can ask him wats up...

  • Might just be nerves. Some guys have trouble maintaining an erection when they are nervous with a new partner. My boyfriend was like that the first few times, until he got comfortable with me. If the guy got hard in your mouth, then he can during sex as well. Give it some time before giving up.