Not turned on by the guy...

[Anonymous]

am I weird? I am not really ever turned on sexually by a guy. I've slept with about 6 guys, none of them really turned me on. My current guy gets turned on just watching me put lotion all over myself, or just touching me he gets turned on. I don't get turned on at all. Maybe it's my outlook on sex? I find it sinful, and wrong to have sex, although I am married to the guy and it should be OK. So I just don't like sex. Not that it hurts, I'm not turned on when I look at a guy, even if he's sexy and naked. My guy is like, toned and has a 6 pack. What do you think is wrong with me. Or do some girls just don't get turned on. And I never have an orgasm either. My mind on sex is like, blank. One time I was thinking of food while having sex. Like where are we going to go out to eat? Or what should I eat after this? Is that strange? Just wondering.

[origamikitsune]

The answer to your question is "Yes" and "No."

It is not normal in the sense that the majority of people are not in the same position as you are. The majority of people have certain things that turn them on, make them respond both physically and emotionally, and for the most part (with only slight variations) these responses are universal. So no, it is not normal, it is in fact strange.

That said, it is also normal for someone who has a reason to dislike sex to respond that way. Without knowing more I can only guess, but some common reasons for that sort of response are emotional disconnection, history of sexual abuse, gay/lesbian in an environment that his particularly hostile, gender identity issues, medical problems (hormone imbalance, etc.), mental problems (i.e. bipolar, etc).

In your case it probably is your outlook on sex that is the problem. If you truly believe that sex is sinful, then you are doing something that you believe is inherently bad. And I promise you, if your partner does not have sexual hang ups, it WILL become an issue eventually. My question to you would be WHY is it sinful to you?

If you are a strongly religious individual, you might consider speaking to someone in the clergy about it - even the catholic church has people that are trained to deal with those issues. If you aren't an overly religious person, I would consider finding a therapist.

By no means am I trying to say you are crazy, but I do believe that you are missing out on one of the most significant connections a married couple can have.

[Asker]

I like your answer. I don't like sex because my sister was a slut at the age of 15 and I told her not to, and to save it for marriage. I watched her life shatter to pieces, now with a 2yr old and divorced and a bad rep. I saved myself, but I feel like my husband also lived like my sister did... so did most of the guys I was with. In the bible,sex before marriage is unholy. I'm with him because I'm lonely, he fills a void. I'd rather us not have sex, unlikely to happen since he likes sex.

[bunny420]

Why did you have sex with six guys when you consider it a sin?

[Asker]

Ah slept with as in they were in my bed and they hang out. We cuddle. Sex is for marriage. But we do kiss and that is pretty much it. After kissing for a long time the guy always gets a boner, and I'm like... OK whatever. But no, I didn't have sex with them. I slept with them, they slept with me. ah yes... but sex is for marriage so yes, at the age of 24 I got married and had sex.

[bunny420]

Your phrasing is terrible, in future I'd say 'slept in the same bed with'. Have you ever been turned on in your life?

[Asker]

Turned on? as in want to have sex with a guy? not really. I don't know... I just didn't even want to get married. I was just lonely and marriage solves that. yeah, I might have a problem... but then again you can live without sex. Who needs it anyways, especially if you don't want to have kids anyways.

[bunny420]

Do you feel romantically attracted to guys?

[Asker]

Not really. I was never a roses and chocolates girl. If I wanted chocolates or whatever I'd get it myself. If a guy got it for me, I'd thank him but I wouldn't feel anything much... Last time my guy bought me flowers for my bday I was like... really? what for? that's strange. Does that answer your question? and if someone compliments me, I'm like "how gay" so my guy stopped complimenting me and asked me what should he say? and I was like just say "you look good" or "you don't look good".

[bunny420]

Well as long as you and the people around you are happy I don't think it matters much.

[hot_princess7]

You should work on your emotional connection to your guy. Lust/desire is mostly emotional/mental. If you're connected, you'll feel desire, and if you can't connect, you are with the wrong guy. You two should work together to find a way you can have an orgasm - this may change the whole experience for you.

IM me sometime if you like and we can talk more, I used to feel the same way you do.

[Asker]

I"ll add you as a friend.

[ninaknows]

What have you ever been turned on by? I don't think he's your guy if your body doesn't feel it. There are something we can't control but that we should listen to

[Anonymous]

I smell a troll.

[Asker]

Not really a troll. I would care less what people wanted to do with their lives. Just here to figure out if I'm weird or not... but I don't think I am. Considering I don't want to hurt anyone, I just have a preference to not like sex. But no one is telling you what you should like or not like or do or not do... so I don't know why you have such a problem.

[Anonymous]

I suggest you seek professional counseling to get to the bottom of why you have this outlook on sex. You're missing out big time and I don't think it's fair to your husband.