Unsure of my sexuality?

[Anonymous]

I have a boyfriend, and I've always thought I was straight until about a year ago. I started talking to my (straight) friends and if they'd ever had a "sexual curiosity" or ever thought the same sex was remotely attractive... Most of them said it's never even crossed their minds, and some said most teenagers go through that sort of phase. Ever since I was little I've always had an attraction to girls... I was born in France (censoring there is not as big as in America) and remember always buying magazines with boobs on them. I used to go to the bathroom for hours and just fantasize about these girls' bodies and I always thought it was normal. I thought everyone did that, not just me. I always thought I looked at boobs because I didn't have boobs yet (I was only around 8), and I inspected what I would have in the future (not ever questioning if I liked girls or not). The liking of girls never stopped, but I still loved men and only dated men. I've never dated a girl, but I've had sexual intercourse with girls. It's almost as if I like both because I love the strong, powerful, manly feeling of a guy and also love the sweet, sensitive, teasing feelings of girls. People say you can't be bisexual, it's either "one or the other", but it's like I NEED both. You're probably wondering, "Why is she confused? She knows she's bisexual? Etc.. Well here comes the issue: - I'm 20 years old. I'm completely in love with my boyfriend, and I can only imagine myself marrying a guy. I want to marry (eventually) and have children, but with a male. I could never picture my future with a woman. - The problem is: I'm completely in love with the female body. Yes, I love sex and I love having sex with a male, but I love sexual things MORE with females. There's something about a vagina that turns me on; I fantasize about vaginas all the time and any sexual fantasy I imagine is always involving a vagina. - My problem is the penis. I love men, but I hate penises. Everything about it disgusts me, and every time a guy cums I have to stop myself from throwing up (the smell usually). - So the MAIN issue (sorry there's a lot of issues): I want to live my life with a male, have children with a male, get married with a male (pretty much have a male partner/ relationship etc.. BUT anything that's sexual I'd rather it be with a female... What do I do? What is this even labeled as? I can't really consider myself lesbian... And obviously I'm kind of bisexual but THAT'S not even sure. How do you describe this behavior, and what should I do about it? I would very much appreciate helpful comments, not comments like, "You could be my girlfriend and I'd let you do things with girls as long as I can watch ;)" sort of thing.

[melanie-nicole]

Honestly I am the same way, except I am not grossed out by penises. Any who, I think you should talk with your man. If he is open to three-sums then you pretty much have your problem solved. If he is non you could ask him if you can watch lesbian p*rn and play with yourself before you have sex. If he is against both of this you will have to decide which life is more important to you public or private. It is a tough decision, I know, but something to consider is how life would be with a man v. with a woman. With a man you would be more socially accepted (at least in America), you would be able to have biological children, also think about legally what would be beneficial/detrimental. With a butcher woman you could be happier, you could always adopt and legally you may have some benefits. Just think about it if it comes down to it.

[Inkweaver2]

My boyfriend is perfectly willing to let me do whatever I want with other girls, on the condition that he can play a role if she is alright with it. I don't know if your boyfriend is open to these kinds of things, but for a person with an open mind it can be very fun.

[cd112]

Well this is kinda close to the comment you just said you don't want, sorry, lol but maybe you should discuss this with your boyfriend, maybe he'd be OK with you occasionally being with a girl or let you both do it as long as everyone is on the same page. you know? that way when you feel the need to be with a woman you can find a way to get your release and still be with your boyfriend. hope this helped, good luck.

[Asker]

Thanks! What I meant with the comment I didn't want is in a different context, lol

[l-hedoniste]

What you want, is a poly relationship.

Monogamy *clearly* won't get you what you want, so ditch it. Pick a guy to do the nuclear family unit thing with, pick a girl to do the electric sex thing with, sit everybody down, and hash everything out.

It's very possible with the right kind of people. As you've noticed, many guys won't object to your sexuality, and some will even enjoy it.

[AcEMasTeR]

This is hot ;)