My girlfriend won't/can't get on top.

My girlfriend has trouble being on top. We tried when we first got together but it didn't work out to well and now she doesn't want to do it because she's afraid she can't do it right. (I didn't say anything but she had a hard time getting into position and keeping things going.) Is there anyway I can convince her to try again? I really like to be ridden and I miss it. I've tried being seductive about and whisper in her ear while we're having sex that I want to be ridden (this usually works for other sex acts) but she just won't get back on top.
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Most Helpful Girls

  • I think I'm pretty similar to your girlfriend actually. It is a position that makes a lot of girls really self conscious... our bodies are on display in a rather unflattering position, plus we are uncomfortable being in charge most of the time. I know I am really shy and I never really want to do it... but my boyfriend usually manages to get me to do it by doing a couple things. First, he always fingers me so I really want sex, then he asks me to go on top for a little while but says that we'll finish with him on top. If I say no he'll say pleeeease, and then I usually say yes. If I say no again he drops it (he's not pushy) but I usually relent. Then he guides me and gives me hints on how to get in position and then when I'm doing it he always moans and axts as though he really enjoys it which boosts my confidence. Plus he usually moves his hips too so I have a rhythm to work with. I'll do that for a while until we flip over and do it like normal till he comes :)

  • If she REALLY doesn't want to, there might not be anything you can do. But it's possible that she'll eventually be willing to try it again.

    The first time I tried being on top it really didn't work well so I felt like I was bad at it and didn't want to do it. But after a while (I knew my boyfriend wanted me to be on top sometimes BUT he never mentioned it once I said I didn't want to) I started to want to try it. So he said he'd help me.

    Maybe you could just leave her alone about it for a while? I'm not saying you're nagging, but when you feel uncomfortable doing something even little hints about it can be real mood killers. SO maybe if you don't mention it for a while, she will eventually try it again just to make you happy.

    • i mention asked maybe 3x in the year we've been together (not counting the first couple of failed attemps). But this sounds reasonable so I won't mention it again.

    • I think that it kind of needs to be her idea. At the same time, it would probably help if you guided her. She is probably afraid you'll judge how well she does it.

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  • i am the same way and it sounds like for similar reasons. I hate being on top and generally won't do it. but I also like the guy being in control so it works for me.