What to do with a boyfriend who won't take no for a final answer?

[sweetcherry]

I have told my boyfriend numerous times that I do not want to perform oral sex on him again. I have tried it a few times on him and have continuously found it is something I am just not comfortable doing. However, he is always asking me if I will (AKA every time I see him). I have also communicated that asking me repeatedly will not make me change my mind. He doesn't force me to do anything I don't want to, but at the same time constantly being asked is kind of annoying. I told him to stop asking and he will not comply. What should I do?

[toulouse]

He being passive aggressive with isn't forcing you physically but its emotionally damaging, I don't know how long he's been disrespecting your position but at some point he needs to find a girlfriend who is OK with it and you need to leave. you guys will make each other miserable, you should not do something because you don't want to lose him he should not expect you to, the while thing is creepy, seriously for your own self respect leave him, he doesn't deserve someone he is not compatible with neither do u, a relationship is supposed to be about support , this is anti- support, id say break up,

& jesus christ, a woman wanting marriage and a guy wanting a bj isn't the issue here . & the point about asking for a marriage he doesn't want, you're saying its emotionally taxing and it is, but she's not asking for a marriage that he doesn't want -so its irrelevant- stick to the subject. & Anyways two wrongs don't make a functional relationship.

[BlondeSudoku]

Some people just don't like giving oral, it is not something they are comfortable with. Though someone may desire their partner to give them oral, they must respect it if he/she is not comfortable doing it. Tell him it is not him, it is just you & your own preferences. If he continues to keep asking, tell him you have explained the situation & want him to stop asking you. Say you wouldn't pressure him to do something he is uncomfortable with, & if he can't return the favor, you might stop seeing him all together. He has to respect you & your boundaries.

[Anonymous]

Wow, that's sad girl. I'm glad you don't let him force you, so that's a good sign. But you always say no and you tell him to stop and he doesn't. He's not respecting your boundaries BOTTOM LINE. Meaning he doesn't respect YOU. You need to really consider this relationship and evaluate whether you want to be with someone like this or not. And let him know you're seriously thinking about things all because of what he's doing (or not doing: stopping).

[JustDance]

yep. Sounds like she should break it off with needy-blowjob-boy. He obviously cares more about your mouth, p**** and t*ts and ass than you as a whole. (although personally, I would most likely break it off with a girl who isn't comfortable doing bjs because face it, guys LOVE them. and its almost an essential part of foreplay for men. its a deal breaker for me) Seriously, tell him to find some slut to do the sucking for him. Let him catch some DISEASSSE hahaha

[Anonymous]

He is probably taking you granted and not respecting or recognizing your individuality. Therefore, You should quietly tell him that you really want him to respect you decisions and individual choices. And of course, since this is about sexy, you should talk about ways you can do it. Maybe buy him a p**** sexy toy and put some hotsuace or attack eletrical wire inside where he'll give path so I won't ask you again, Lools, Kidding. But really, he should respect you individual decision making and personality. ANd she should not ignore that. In other words, you should talk abou tthis openly and honestly and find alternative ways you can do. Does he do oral sexy for you? or would like him do it for you? Does he like doing it? if yes, than you ain't being fair. If no, than there is no way he demands you to do it.

[sweetcherry]

Well he does go down on me, but I don't ask him to. His does it on his own accord. And I've told him he can stop doing it to me if he wants to (if he finds it unfair).

[Opinion Owner]

Dumb, I am embarrased by what I wrote. I used all spooky pronounces, "I, she, "he. You". What is left, "IT".loooolz. I feel sorry, but english is not my first langauge. Can't help but play with it! lolz.

[chiba]

What is it about oral sex that makes you feel so uncomfortable I might ask?

[chiba]

You don't seem to have a problem with him doing it to you. I know you have told him he doesn't have to perform oral sex on you but when he does it you don't stop him, do you? Why? Because you like it. I think that he is only asking you to reciprocate which I believe is fair. If you don't want to perform oral sex on him then you shouldn't let him do it to you regardless of whether he wants to. That way he shouldn't expect you to do it to him.

[sweetcherry]

Why would I prevent someone from doing something they want to do?

[chiba]

"Why would I prevent someone from doing something they want to do?" Why would you let someone do something for you that you are not willing to do for them? Other than oral sex with other things does your boyfriend like you to do sexually? What things do you like for him to do for you? Does he deliver when you ask him to? I'm sure he does. He like giving you oral sex because he likes pleasing you and you should be willing to do the same for him. It's about being fair and not selfish.

[chiba]

Most guys I know including myself would not stay with a women who was not willing to go down town. And also you still didn't my question. What is it about performing oral sex that makes you feel uncomfortable? Do you feel dirty doing it, mouth get sore, is he not clean down there I mean what is it?

[edeen-julie]

this slut just thinks she knows everything aye : fuucking stupid slag !

[G_GTom]

He should respect your boundaries. At the same time, if it's important to him, perhaps, he should look for someone more compatible with his needs.

No oral sex would be a deal breaker for me.

[sweetcherry]

Good perspective. Thanks.

[chiba]

I agree.

[JustDance]

dude, SAME!

[avenavio]

That is pretty frustrating. I would suggest doing a lubed hand job but I don't think he deserves that based on how much he is pressuring you.

[katiesmuff]

I sure don't see where this relationship is going to go anywhere. Breaking it off now would probably be the best for the both of you.

For your information you are going to find that most men will want some sucky sucky with sex and most will offer pretty much the same in return for you. You might want to to some real soul searching as to what prevents you from liking to give a bj.

[edeen-julie]

Dont let him force you into doing something you aren't comfortable with ; he is a disrespectul boyriend if he doesn't accept NO for the inal answer.i think you need too tell him that if he doesn't respect NO or an answer he should leave !

[chiba]

"he is a disrespectul boyriend." > No he isn't. He is not forcing her to do anything he is just simply asking her to do it which she doesn't have to if she doesn't want to. "he doesn't accept NO for the inal answer." You can say the same thing about women who constantly ask or demand for marriage even repeatedly after a man has told her he is not yet ready. Would you say a woman is being disrespectful then?

[edeen-julie]

your a d*** head mate ; he should not be fuucking her if it hurts her ;

[edeen-julie]

yeah that's right ; shut the f*** up !

[chiba]

She didn't say anything anything about fu*cking anyone or that she is in pain. Your reply has no credibility. > "your a d*** head mate ; he should not be fuucking her if it hurts her ;" yeah that's right ; shut the f*** up! > What are you talking about. You stfu and quit posting garbage that has nothing to do with the question at hand.

[chiba]

Just a recap > " He doesn't force me to do anything I don't want to, but at the same time constantly being asked is kind of annoying." Where does she say that he f*cks her and it hurts her. I don't see it. Maybe it's just you.

[edeen-julie]

and who the fuuck asked for your comment ya fuucking whore ?

[chiba]

"and who the fuuck asked for your comment ya fuucking whore ?" What's wrong? Did I hurt your feelings? You can't deal with a little criticism? Whether someone ask me for my opinion or not is irrelevant. I give my opinion when I damn well please. It is called freedom of speech. Get an education and take some anger management classes ya bitch.

[edeen-julie]

you are a **** sucker ; I got my education mate ; I'm gunna be a doctor and I'm doing so in uni so you thinking you thinking ya know me is a load of sh*t ; go get a root on the high way ya dog !

[chiba]

You would be the first doctor I've meet who has such a filthy mouth. I know you want to believe your going to be a doctor but I doubt it. Your education is laughable and it shows in your post. "...you thinking ya know me is a load of sh*t..." I don't know you and I don't care to know you. Honestly I'm bored with you. Your not worth any more of my time.

[womenandmen]

I think that the two of you sound as though you aren't compatable in the bedroom, oral sex is part of pleasing your partner, does he perform it on you? if you aren't comfortable then maybe he does need to find someone who is on the same page as him in the bedroom. Not that I am saying you should do it if you aren't comfortable, its an individuals choice and you should never do anything you don't want to.

[Anonymous]

Have to be honest

You'll just send him crazy not doing it

All guys love it & want it

Eventually it will get the better of him & he'll go looking for another girl that will do it

[Anonymous]

I'm sorry you have such a hard time with this. Maybe you should find out why you have such an issue & discuss that with him. Tell him you don't like being pressured unless you want to work on getting over your fear of oral sex.

[Anonymous]

If you don't want to, by all means do NOT give in. He should respect the fact that you've already repeatedly told him no. Right now, he's just trying to coerce you into doing what he wants by constantly nagging at you. Everyone has specific preferences when it comes to sex. You don't need to explain WHY you don't like oral sex. Not liking it is reason enough. If say you enjoyed smacking a guy around and he wasn't up to it, does it mean he must give in to please you? of course not. What if you liked using a dildo on a man? And he doesn't like it. How would he like it if you constantly harassed him about it?

You stick to your guns. However, if oral sex is so important to him that he would choose that over you, you should break up with him. Let him find someone sexually compatible and let YOU find someone who is sexually compatible with you. You're young and he's not the last man on earth. Go and find someone more compatible.

[Anonymous]

Hell, if that was your attitude, I'd dump you and go after other girls.

[Anonymous]

First, never let a guy make you do something you don't want to do! It just opens up a twisted manipulating door for him to always talk you into things. Next, if he wants it that bad, tell him to do you until you are comfortable! Well, if that's something you'd be interested in. If oral sex in general is uncomfortable for you, let him know that, so that way he won't think HE's the reason you don't want to do it. Make him feel special in other ways, guys like that sh*t. If you are already having sex, offer to experiment with foreplay, he may just find he likes other areas sucked or licked or kissed just as much(if not more) than you giving him oral. Hope this helps you