Why does my boyfriend want me to sleep with another person?

My boyfriend of 6 and a half years broke up with me 4 days ago, and he told me the only way that we can get back together is if I sleep with another person. But its not just another person, its a girl, and its not just another girl, its a girl that he has been seeing for the four days we have been apart. Also, he doesn't want to be a part of it, he just wants me and her to be together.

He says that this is the only way that he will really be able to tell if I am willing to change for him. I am so confused, am I the only one who thinks this is crazy? Should I do it?

To add a little more info about me. He is the only person I have ever kissed and ever been with!


Most Helpful Girl

  • WHAT THE HELL?!?! I have never heard anything more crazy then this! I understand your hurting and basically want to do anything you can to get him back! But this is not exceptable. Trying to make you do something YOU DO NOT want to do is sad & wrong. What does he mean "change" for him. He needs to be with you because he loves you for you. I DO NOT think you should do it. What I think you should do is walk away from him..just for now, until he figures out what he wants. What if you do this and he doesn't take you back, you will have done something you may regret. Also the fact that he has been with another girl for 4 days while yall been apart, is another sign that he needs his space to figure out what he wants, if he can go be with a girl right after breaking up with you after 6 years!...then something is seriously wrong. Hope you figure out the best choice for YOU...G'Luck!


What Guys Said 3

  • I think is time to move on, girl. I'll tell you the ugly truth: he's not planning to stay, just want to use the break up mood to fullfil some fantasy of his. I have absolutely nothing against group sex experimentation, but in order to be fun and/or fullfilling mutual consent is a must. What your ex is doing is sheer and inappropriate pressure. No one that cares about someone else puts her or him under this kind of manipulation, even if they think it would be great for both of you. You may go through with it, but another "proof of change" probably will arise. If you want to do it, that's another story, get your rocks off, but if not, that dumb ass needs no further consideration.

  • Id say move on, this is weird, I've never heard of anyone saying that or having that type of "reasoning" to them. that is the strangest get back together requirements I've ever heard. might just be some weird fantasy. leave and fine you a real man who won't toy with you like that.

  • are you crazy? F**K NO! this ultimatum is the only thing ludicrous here. your ex has lost his mind, so RUN while you still have yours...


What Girls Said 5

  • Um.. what is it exactly that he wants you to "change" for him?

  • Um...loser much? Thank god you broke up with him. Now don't get back with him and don't have sex with another girl. He's a weirdo and I'm ashamed that there are guys like that out there. NO, don't do it!

  • I keep reading this over and over and it makes no logical sense. He breaks up with you after 6.5 years, he rebounds to some other chic THEN he emotionally blackmails you to sleep with her. I don't know what caused the break up. I am wondering if he wants you to explore being more sexual and this is like a test. Maybe it's like a twisted fantasy of his to think of you with another girl?

    Here's the bottom line: Never empower someone to blackmail you in ANY way. I am sure you miss him and still care very deeply. However, for being with someone for 6.5 years he is being completely unreasonable, disrespectful and just an asshole. I wouldn't give in at all and I would personally ignore him. I would not speak to him until he is serious about discussing things calmly and rationally. It's not all about him- YOU matter too.

    Be well.

  • It is his wild fantasy ,I tell you. Who knows if he records it and has fun at a later stage? you will regret for your life. Leave him and you are much better without such ass holes !