How far into a relationship do you start "doing things"?

[dongesec]

Just curious on how far into a relationship you start fooling around.. anything past a kiss on the lips. I feel like I'm a little more conservative than some of the other people on this site, so I was just wondering! :) I also had a problem with this in my last relationship; we started getting more physical (no sex, though) after about a month. Then it seemed like that's all we ever did, which is not what I see as the point of a relationship. Just curious on everyone's views on how it could help or hurt a relationship! Thanks guys :)

[Anonymous]

It's been different for me with every relationship. With the guy I dated in high school, it took us several months to get to second base, and we never went further. With my first boyfriend in college, we took about a month to go further than kissing, and several months for sex. With my current boyfriend, who I might add is the most attractive person I've been with yet and I feel the most ideal partner I've had, it took us only a few weeks to go further and about a month for sex.

So I dunno, really. I tend to wait until I feel like I can really trust the person and until I really, really want to go further (not just them pushing it that direction), so it depends on the dynamics of the situation.

[Anonymous]

Marriage... I lost my virginity to a boyfriend that promised to marry me, and he cheated a few weeks later. It took a major toll on my emotions. If your end goal is marriage I'd say that sex should be the last priority until marriage because it gives you something to look forward to. Please, Please, Please value yourself.

[Anonymous]

Every relationship is different.

Both me and my boyfriend are quite shy, so it took us quite a while to get physical! If you can believe this, we didn't start making out til 6 months in... I know... wow. But it was fine for both of us, and I'm glad we waited until we were comfortable :)

[dynamic23]

The biggest thing is for you to be comfortable. If you're not comfortable having sex 2 months in, then don't have sex 2 months in! If he doesn't approve, then you're obviously not on the same page.

Whatever you do, don't let social pressure dictate when you're going to do stuff. If you went by social pressure, you'd start having sex at 13, cheat regularly, never stay in a relationship more than a few weeks (once the fun wears out), and have to regularly see a therapist for "issues" that you have but you can't find the source of.

[Apocalypticality]

Well, sex is sort of needed unless you're both virgins and happy with it. Sex is instinctual, and without it (or the choice not to have) remains one of the most damaging points in the sexual/intimate part of relationships. I'm way too tired to explain the foundations of having sex in a relationship, but I can say that it's damn good to have.

[discotaco]

3-4 weeks was when we passed making out

5-6 months was when we started having sex

But we're in a long distance relationship, so that's different.

[Anonymous]

I am a lot like you actually, but I don't think that there is a set time that's good for everyone. It really just depends on you. Whenever you are both ready then that's when its best.