Sexual Health
+1 y

What Does Being Dominated Mean to you? Do You Like ABUSE? Can You Tell The Difference?

I guess I want mostly girls opinions but guys are welcome to throw their 2 cents in. DOMINATE What does that word mean to you? Do women like to be controlled, manipulated, bossed around or constantly told what to do. I know that's how it was a century ago, but I'm puzzled to hear young women and girls of today saying they want to be dominated by guys. I sometimes feel confused because I always thought that was one of the things that modern women resented, detested and abhorred. I am not only shocked to find young women buying into old myths and stereotypes, but behaving the way girls behaved when they had no rights. I wonder, do women like be physically manhandled, pushed around etc the kind of behavior that can land a guy in jail. Do they like abuse? Are they more comfortable being under some guys thumb than making independent, thoughtful decisions themselves. What exactly IS being Dominated?
Updates:
+1 y
If you found this question interesting, will you answer my other question: Do girls still like those jerks after they start beating them?
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Most Helpful Guys

  • Being dominated is, in a sense, a release of control to another person. It is a state of submission to another persons will. It is not abuse, it is not pain. The thrill a "top" gets out of domination is a sense of control over the "bottom". In a very real sense, it is a power trip. The thrill the "bottom" gets is a sense of surrender and freedom from having to have self control.

    In short, Submission/Domination is totally psychological in nature. You don't even have to have physical contact or nudity to have a Submission and Domination session. What you seem to be talking about above crosses the line from the BD of BDSM (Bondage/Domination/Sadism/Masochism) to the S&M. In this case, assuming both parties enjoy their roles, the "top" does actually enjoy causing pain, and the "bottom" actually does enjoy receiving said pain. The psychological effect is similar to that of cutting - endorphins are released by the sudden and extreme pain, in order to deaden it, producing a sense of general euphoria.

    As to girls actually liking the jerks who beat them, I couldn't say. I suppose it depends on the circumstances. If a woman is a masochist, and the "beating" in question was part of the bedroom play, then yes, she probably still likes him. If either of the above conditions is null, then she probably has a good case for a lawsuit.

    The part that makes any of this enjoyable for the 'bottom' is that it is a temporary condition. No 'bottom' would actually enjoy permanent slavery, but as a form of roleplay, BDSM works because at the end of the session both parties return to equal status, much like the reason a game of chess is fun is because both parties return to relative equality after the outcome is decided. As long as it's all in good fun, there is no lasting harm.

  • Im kindve a strange breed..but I am a auto-masochist/sadistic sexuality. So to answer your question being dominated in a sexual sense feels good.."being taken, ravished" sorta like the first time you makeout with someone its kinda like a never gonna stop situation.

    I think for some people this feeling of I want to rip your clothes off and you can't do anything about it. IN MODERN SOCIETY you need to make sure your partner knows your being playful and think of them as a thought having person, also girls clothes are hellishly expensive.

Most Helpful Girls

  • Most of the time when women want to be dominated, they don't mean they want to be physically or emotionally abused or injured. They also don't usually mean that they want to be bossed around and have their lives controlled and their decisions made for them. There might be a few rare cases where a woman would want those things, but she would probably not be emotionally healthy or stable if she did.

    A lot of the time when people talk about domination and submission, they mean during sex. This is usually very separated from daily life. Some people are turned on by playing the dominant or submissive role. Since men are traditionally more dominant than women are, they probably choose that role more often, while women might feel feminine while taking a submissive role. But the roles are frequently reversed as well.

    • Abusive relationships are usually complicated- someone who is with someone who abuses them might like or love them to the point where they forgive them for hurting them or feel that it's worth it. They might have self esteem issues and feel that they don't deserve to be treated fairly. They might be scared to go for help. If they are financially dependent on the abusive partner that would entangle them with that person even more. It's not as simple as just still liking them or not.

  • Here's the thing,

    in everyday life, I tend to be a bit bossy and dominant

    if I don't like something, then it shall not be done...

    and I totally reuse being abused, hell no that ain't gonna happen, EVER...

    he only thing I like is semi-domination, in that would be in a romantic relation and not any other kind of relations,

    I like to know that I'm with someone who is dominant, not over me, but in life,

    I want to feel like if anything goes wrong, he can fix it,

    I like it when somebody presses me against the wall when kissing me... etc

    the feeling of letting go for once!

    P.S: for me, I hate the kind of dominance where the guy tells what you CAN do and can't, where to go to, and where you're NOT ALLOWED...

    • I guess I should have asked the question differently. I should have asked Isn't it extremely difficult to balance the two? i.e. I want him to be dominant in bed, but outside the bedroom we are 50/50 partners. Something along those lines. I am interested in everyones opinion on this. Guys and girls both.

    • Thanks. I like to measure where we all are on this thing.

  • Well I think you are talking about dominated on a serious note and no that is something I would not accept. I know girls that are this way for various reasons, low self esteem, afraid to leave the guy, etc. I cannot understand why any person can get in this mind set that she has to stay and continue being dominated with her life.

    Your last question would be no. They hate the guy but are afraid to do anything about it and get the heck out of the situation. Very sad thing to see and it is not all that rare.

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What Girls & Guys Said

7 3

  • Being dominated is a sexual thing. Yes, I'll happily spend the night being spanked, tied up, beaten with a light stick on my breasts, thighs and bottom, and even instructed to service his friends (they were nice friends.) But I don't want to be bossed around regularly from day to day. I get enough of that at work.

  • I think the only girls who like abuse are ones with really low self esteem.

    As far as being dominated goes. For me, I like guys who are assertive and manly. I want them to take charge sexually, I want them to plan dates and find stuff for us to do, and to basically just be men. I don't want them to be mean or jerks or anything.

    • I probably could have phrased it better. I'm asking if women like social dominance not sexual. I'm also questioning if they are tolerant of or even enjoy abuse. The reason I phrased it like that is I know how young women go for losers and it often ends in some kind of abuse physical or emotional. I hate to see this because I was abused once and try to warn girls about bad guys. Quick question. What do you mean by "just be men"

  • You seem to have a real problem with abuse. Why would anyone want to be abused? And if you are being abused- no one deserves that- you need to get out of that relationship.

    But to answer your first question- I would not like to be dominated at all (actually I'd probably be the dominant one-not abusive tho)

    • what I was getting at was the overbearing jerks that so many girls/women seem to go for, so I was simply asking if women like being dominated (usually by jerks).

  • Like Sex Dominated or Relationship wise here's a litte of both in my thoughts,

    The only place I'm submissive in the bedroom and I'm still not fully a sub. Now relationship wise I dated abusive men or boys I was young and dumb. I like men in charge to a certain level. But I love it in the bedroom. I don't think a man should be abusive to a full amount even if she wants it

  • women are like trapped inside. They always have to make sense of everything around compulsively. So, when someone is trapped, the only way out is making no sense. She might want it doesn't mean she will enjoy it for real. It's just fantasy. It doesn't mean they really like it. But they might like it the way it's set up and go by the rules. Women are sucker for the rules.

  • Girls like assholes until they are 25 or older... it's that simple.

    • unfortunately it goes on longer than that. some girls are perpetual lost causes.

  • Like what a lot of the girls here have said, I tend to be socially independent. Maybe not dominant, I'd prefer the guy not to be a push over when I make decisions or voice opinions, but a match. Someone who can challenge my way of thinking and doing things even, but of course in a positive way. Not put me down when I'm wrong or be mean when he doesn't agree, but be able to justify his own opinion. Socially I like equality in a relationship. Kind of like taking turns.

  • I think girls are usually talking about during sex like me I love being dominated in the bedroom. Typically my man is really sweet and loving and I'm kind of more the bossy one and in charge of things but when it comes to the bedroom he has all the control there and he gets his way with me. He can get rough even make things hurt a little and teases me a lot he isn't straight up beating me or anything it can just get intense.. For us though that is fun and all people are different and like other things.

    • Thanks, that is more like what I'm talking about. The sexual part I understand. I see a lot of girls getting pushed around out there and it worries me. That whole bad boy $hit bugs me because I know what these guys are going to do to these girls. Been There, Done It.

    • why have you been there in the first place and done it?

  • I think its different for everyone like BDSM

    some girls would find it like torture but some wouldn't so I would say to each their own

  • I certainly don't want to be dominated in everyday life because that's just disrespectful. Domestic abuse isn't cool. Some people use safety words during sex like 'pen' to know when to stop. Sexually, yes, being dominated would be fun. I'm very submissive.

    • You are adorable.

    • agreed

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