I had my first one night stand and I feel terrible :(...

Question

i went out got drunk met a cute guy ...actually a hot guy about 300 pounds of pure muscle I was turned on and drunk and on the rebound I've never done this before but I gave him head in his car for about 15 minutes then it escalated to me doggy style in the backseat seemed like it took forever. when he came he came all over my face which I told him not to .and didn't have or give me anything to clean up with and pretty much kicked me out of the car.i went back into the bar with CUM IN MY HAIR AND STILL ON MY FACE! I wiped most of it off on my undershirt. and only one of my close friends noticed but I could EVEN SEE IT IN THE PICTURES! and in the morning woke up feeling it all over my skin and hair and dried on me.. on top of that he kept putting it in the second hole that night even when I told him to stop...in the morning I never felt so used trashy and slutty I felt and feel like garbage...like I was used and abused...like I just pleased some guy that didn't appreciate me doing it and didn't appreciate meso how many of you have had one night stands? have you felt the same way?i also think its because I never do that and I usually look deeper into when I give head and let a guy come on or in me its usually deep and meaningful and means I care and he cares...and this was just some guy getting a nut off on me...and I still just can't get over the fact for that half hour that guy was being pleased and I wasn't and he didn't care whatsoever about me and I will forever be that "bitch I f***ed in the back seat of my car and I f***ed her in the ass for the first time and blew my load on her face haahhaa" you know? what do I do :(

Brando · Accepted Answer

That seems to be what happens when you mix alcohol with sex. It doesn't seem to end well because, like everyone seems to say, you lose your inhibitions. You have very little control over what happens to you.

Sadly, there isn't anything you can do about this experience. You can chalk it up as a lesson and make sure to be extra careful and mindful of what you do in these situations. If you are no longer feeling comfortable with flings, then don't do them. If you wouldn't mind them again, then you should still be cautious about the partner you choose. One thing to always realize is that picking up girls is a game, nothing more. It doesn't require anything serious, nor any *meaningful* skills. It is a game of manipulation, pure and simple. A guy could be a complete jerk and douchebag, but if he plays his cards right, he can manipulate a girl into going to bed with him. Add alcohol to the mix, and his game just got that much easier.

Don't make yourself into some guy's "game". That sh*t is pathetic. While I'm not opposed to casual sex and wouldn't mind having casual sex, I don't agree one bit with PUA's and what they do. It's pathetic and low to do that to people, so I'd advise you to keep these types of people at arms length or longer.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Having casual sex is fine as long as you're smart about it. It sounds like you picked the wrong guy. It is what it is and sadly you can't change it. Personally I would say try not to let it bug you and you can have fun in the future, just be more careful about the guy next time. No you are not slutty or anything, casual sex is actually fairly common. Just gotta use your head.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

I understand. Getting sexual attention can feel empowering, and "casual" sex is normalized a lot, but afterward it can feel like you've lost all power when they got what they wanted. I've had good experiences where I wasn't emotionally attached and I was treated with respect, but I've also had painful experiences where I either wound up wanting something more with him (which wasn't in the plan) or felt like I was used/worthless.

The truth is, you are not his (or anyone else's) perception of you. You are not disgusting or shameful even if you feel disgusted or ashamed. Those are temporary emotions and they pass. This is a pain that many of us know, and it's a part of growing up sexually, finding out what our own limits are and what we're comfortable with.

Be kind to yourself, and watch for the signs so you don't have to get burned again. Surround yourself by people who validate you. Get out of a situation if your gut tells you to. I'm glad you wrote this post, and reached out for help. It passes. Always. <3

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Yeah it will def annoy you to be remembered as a girl who sucked a dick and got fucked in the back seat of the car forever.. well.. the drunken and horny version of you liked it at the time.. otherwise you would have screamed and at least slapped him in his car not. Or at least, sucking a dick should have been the only thing u have done with him. You liked it and enjoyed it. But now waking up in the next morning, you feel trashy and slutty cus u r not the drunken and horny version of yourself anymore. So u got it now? its not about u did one night stand befoe or not but more about u failed to make balance! From this experience, you learnt what to do and what not to do in order to keep your self respect.

charmy · Accepted Answer

Well... I've never had a one night stand because I'm only 16 so I don't know how it feels... I imagine it makes you feel like a worthless piece of sh*t though :\. What you did is pretty bad but drink can make people do crazy things. Only thing you can do is try to put it all behind you, there are a lot of guys out there that are complete pricks that never appreciate anything and only see women as objects. You're not a slut so ignore the guy that said that... A slut doesn't feel bad after doing things like that.

synmar · Answer

There is nothing you can do! What's done is done. You can't put the blame entirely on him. It's a one-night stand! They aren't obligated to respect you, or be nice to you. Next time have some respect for yourself.

LillyBear · Answer

Yeah, that guy was a jerk.  I don't recommend one night stands, sorry you had such a bad experience.

SilenRose · Answer

I've never done a one night stand and never will. I believe sex should be meaningful with someone you care about.

kittykatbrat · Answer

Me = upfront serial dater Some ons's are totally awesome Some aren't Sex in general is always going to be one or the other I just keep moving forward with smiles :)

tigerguy · Answer

the course of true love did never run smooth - William Shakespeare

tyber1 · Answer

Sounds like sexual assault. You can revoke consent and it sounds like you did.

Giggletr0n · Answer

It gets WAY easier the more you do it!

LogJammer · Answer

Why not take it for what it was? A kinky little adventure of yours. Forget the guy, he is a stupid idiot for treating an adventerous and sensual women like you so badly. sensual because you like live out your desires, nothing wrong with that. Alcohol makes you forget to take care for yourself so dont drink and fuck without a backup plan. ONS have their own rules in order to be safe for you