Why do men always sleep with me & leave?

It's been happening since I was 15. Men asked me for sex, and I wanted to keep them, so I gave them what they wanted. But they always leave me afterward. This has been going on for almost 5 years now. I just want a guy to love me, why do they keep leaving me when I give them what they want?

I'm cancelling this account, so no need to answer this question anymore...


Most Helpful Guy

  • FYI - Sex does not "keep" men.. It may be what we are looking for, but it is NOT what keeps us in a relationship.

    It's really pathetic how many people answered this question and failed to mention this, at all.

    You wanna keep a man? Follow these tips:

    - Always have your personal boundaries of what you would not do, and enforce them.

    - With regard to the first tip, treat him as best as you can (respect, nurture, support, etc)

    - Be interactive with him (Don't sit around the house, DO something with him other than sex)

    - Show him you have a highly valuable life (You aren't a stay at home mom, you have ambition)

    etc etc etc

    This is basic, common, knowledge. If after 15 years you haven't caught on to these things then it's up to you to build them in your character; the sooner you do, the better.

    Guys don't want an easy lay for a girlfriend; we want a classy, respectable, mother-fit, lady-lover. Someone who can blow our minds in the bedroom (sexually) as well as in public (non-sexually).

    And yes, there is truth in the statement that humans' will prize what they have to work for.

    Take care,


    • but if you find a girl gave it to others so easy would you really care that she made you work I would be pissed off and insulted

    • Show All
    • hmm, gotta disagree there bro most guys in college and in HS are basically just looking for a lay id say no matter what its not gonna work out (this is also statistically proven.) because the guys are just looking for fun, if a girl wants a commitment guy go for a guy who is ready to make one, not just a guy that wants sex... they need to learn the difference

    • Good points; but not every guy is like that, just a lot are perceived that way -> Mainly due to how it rewards they're status.. If they were a geek but now they get all the girls, they are the badass

What Guys Said 18

  • There is some trait about you that the men in your life find sexually compelling. In other words, you're smoking hot. Not a bad thing, except when you're looking for love and all you can find are horny people.

    What you need to do is make the sex conditional on the love: "I like you, but when I sleep with people who don't love me, I get hurt, so I don't do it anymore." And don't just believe any man who says "I love you"--sex does that to us--wait until he proves it a little.

  • wow you actually thought you could keep a guy by having sex opposite that makes guys think they can run you, best bet wait a bit before sex then when y'all have had a healthy relationship for a while start having sex then its more of an enhanser for the guy as opposed to a milestone

    • Oh you mean it'sl ike the iching and not the cake. I get it! ...But I was really Horny so thanks anyway! =)

  • If you want men to have a relationship with you, instead of a booty call, don't give it away so easily.

  • Because they can. A guy who would sleep with you and leave is always looking for girls like you. Be smarter and keep your clothes on longer and see if there is really something there besides raging hormones.

  • easy answer. the guys you hang around are not good people. If you hang around "bad ass" type people, your going to get treated like that. If a guy wants sex at the beginning of a relationship, that's what they want in the relationship.

  • Its because you gv sex 2 them whenever they want it...and they will think you are too cheap...

  • Yeah substance matters. If you have a personality we'll stick to you. Of course, some men just want to get into a woman's pants, and if you give in to easy, there's no real challenge too :) so just don't sleep with them because they want to sleep with you.

  • Well there's your problem. Giving them sex isn't going to make them stick around, all that does is make you easy. It might be an insecurity that you have of people leaving you, so you do what you think will make them happy and stay with you. From what you've experienced, this isn't working. You need to make a guy earn your attention and trust before you consider anything like that. You will realize that less guys will be coming around to you, but that's because they are going to find easy sex somewhere else. If you show that you are taking care of yourself and not giving sex up easily, you will push away the bad ones and allow only the good ones to show their worth to you.

  • could be many things, might be the type of guy that likes to play games and they lost interest (which is usaully guys with game and guys with lots of options). he could have also just wanted sex in which case he would have left anyways so not putting out would not have a difference

  • Eh, that is really easy actually guys in general don't want a relationship to begin with so if they know that they can hook up with you without any commitment they will take that choice. I have nothing against girls that hook up but it is just a simple truth you can't be both the girl guys hook up with and the girl guys want to make into a girlfriend. As long as it is known that you are willing to just hook up no guy will be interested in making a relationship with you unless they are absolutely completely blown away with you

  • I think you need to closely examine the type of guy you tend to keep going out with. Any guy who says he needs to feel like he earned you is probably the type of guy who f*** you then leave.

  • Because you're giving it up too soon perhaps? We like to chase a little.

  • congratulations... u've made yourself a come dumpster for the last 5 years... how about you try... NOT.. having sex

  • That is called bad reputation. You may not like what I'm going to say, but I have to tell this to you. When a man leaves you, he would tell his friends and they tell their friends about you. Then what happens is, good men does not come to you, and men who just want a one night comes looking for you. A bad reputation can destroy anyone.

    You got to change this fast! If you are dependent on your parents, just forget about love or sex for now. Do your studies and get a good job, then.

    When you get a good job, move to another state/country, change your appearance (maybe your hair-style / dress-style or even cosmetic surgery if you wish) and "change your name". Find good men and don't go for sex until you are so sure that you would marry them. Have casual relationships and just "be a good woman".

    You don't have to go for sex just because that's a man wants from you, be discreet. You can say no for sex at least till you are engaged! Have sex only when you know for sure that you have found the right man, or else you would make bad reputation there as well. And don't go too quick for it, take your time to find a good man.

    In the mean time, evaluate yourself to see what would a man hate in you. There are a lot of things a man expect from a woman before taking her in to their lives. You have to transform yourself to be a prospective wife, not a "teen bad girl". Even on a girlfriend, a guy would look in to if this woman is suitable to make my wife, or else there is no point to continue a relationship.

    Be careful, Have a good life!

  • Perhaps the sex isn't that good. Perhaps you are going after immature men.

  • You're attracted to the wrong type of guy for your personality just like many women out there. Honestly all guys want sex but only the jerks leave you after you give it up. I hate saying give it up but that is how the guys you meet view it. I bet you're attracted to all those super confident bad boys that have other women chasing them while you ignore the guys that are just nice friends because they don't have a flock of other women chasing them. You're missing the parade of dudes that will treat you right because you take their treating you right as desperation. You think they're desperate which in your mind means other women must have rejected them (maybe true, maybe not) so there is something wrong with them. Nothing could be further from the truth.

    I used to be a nice guy and a virgin until I got tired of being played and rejected by women that just want the bad boy so now I'm more "bad" but find the relationships so shallow : (

    • Ha ha, reading my answer I realize I must be attracted to the wrong type of women for me also, but damn it no women like nice guys anymore :(

  • Have we not learned from our mistakes?

    • Lol, I know I have. Both for Physical and Emotional Health Reasons. Thank you! Go IVF! Go Safe SEX! Go Marriage! Go DILDOSS! GO FRIENDSHIP FUN!

What Girls Said 12

  • They aren't going to love you just because you gave them sex when they wanted it. It seems like most of the guys you're picking are just looking to hit it and quit it. Next time, have sex when YOU want to, and not the first moment he asks. You're just letting them use you when you do that.

  • I call troll. Or incredibly naive. Poor thing. :(

  • if you're going to give them what they want and not make them work for it, of course they're gonna go away. They haven't gotten to know you or anything, and if you will give them sex as soon as they ask, then why would they wanna date you?

    Let's be honest, the main reason guys get to know a girl is because they want to have sex with her, but once they actually talk to her and get to know her, they decide that maybe it would be nice to stick around and stay with them for the long run, but if they can find a shortcut to sex without getting to know you, they'll take it and leave you.

    stop giving guys sex the second they ask for it and let them get to know you first

  • Try playing "Hard to get"... Don't give them what they want... but make them want it... make them get to know YOU before the know your body... :)

  • Don't have sex with them...? Seriously..is this seriously a question? legit? 5 years of sex and no one wants to be with you..hmmm.. do you not see a pattern?

  • Sweetheart I know the feeling. if you are looking for love, stop having sex with these guys. a man that is truly into you will wait until you are ready and will more than likely stick around afterward. and if you are just looking for someone to love I must ask...is your father in your life? I used to think love equalled sex but I learned it didn't really fast. sex is just that...sex and physical act between 2 people nothing more nothing less. love is something completely different. what I suggest is take time off from guys and work on yourself. you have to love yourself before someone else can love you and these guys can totally see that so they hump you then leave. learn to love yourself full first and once you do you will know your worth and value. then once you have that scent of confidence and not of desperation, the good men will come to you.

  • They sleep with you 'cause you're easy and leave because they don't actually want a relationship with you.

  • Sorry you went through this. Guys can be real cruel. Some will even promise you the moon just get some.

    Oh well...it happend. Someone told me (indirectly) to just try to forgive and forget. I'm sure you will be able to in no time especially when Mr. Right or at least better comes along.

    You'll think wow, what did I ever see in that guy? And he'll be the one in the loss that he's not banging and hanging out and spending his time with you. He doesn't respect his body so why should he respect you? He thinks sex is all there is in life.

  • Well don't sex every guy that you come across. First show them

    who you are and what all your personality has to offer. Go on dates, which include talk, dinner, and maybe a hug. Take things slow.

    If you have a great personality and are a honest genuine person, guys will be interested to stay for who you are and not just to get inside your pants.

  • Probably because everyone and their mother knew what you were there for: sex. Just saying... you probably shouldn't be having sex when you're 15.

    • this isn't the 50's

    • Show All
    • I was calling your last statement old fasion, at least where I'm from (the us) 15 having sex is very common and has been for at least 20 years, in the 50's having sex at first at 15 hardly ever happened and when it did it was a big deal

    • I'm not a moron. I live in the U.S. too. I just think it's wrong, and no, I'm not old fashioned or an old woman. I'm 17. You do these things and then you wonder why all this other stuff happens. It's because that's what all the guys want you for: sex.

  • You are going to hear a lot of bullsh*t from men about this, I can already imagine. What they say is true, but not REALLY as true as they think it is.

    You can shag a guy on the first date, and still keep them interested. First, you have to convince them that you NEVER do that sort of thing, and just generally make it seem that it's a really big issue for you. And make them work for it, really hard, so they feel they have been through hell and back. And then ofc, blow their minds with the great sex. It's fine, you just have to mess with them alittle, give them an angel, and a fire breathing whore at the same time.

    Men are not hard to fathom, at all. Also, men DO like a sunggle after sex, don't go over board, but alittle affection never hurt any one.

    • Honestly, I tend to agree. As long as I feel like I "worked" to get her, I'll want to keep her more-so than if she was an easy catch.

    • Show All
    • @dudeman: Wow dude, you're a prick.

    • I would like to point out that you are arguing with someone who's display name is "dudeman". I don't think it's worth the effort. =P

  • Because you're giving out sex like it's candy.